Derek Trotter is back when he gets a...different lad email from someone who just called himself "Captain". This is the email in question:
Hello,
Please, am very sorry to disturb your peace. because you don't know me and we have never meet before.
But, you will be of a great help to me now, I will want you to help me keep some money secretly in your account, until am out of house arrest.
Am under house arrest as I write you this massage, for political reasons.
my country government found some huge amount of cash $25 million dollars cash at my home in January 2020. Because of that, I was charged with embersument and corruption and I was kept under house arrest
I Used to work with the oil ministry in my country as an accountant.
I will need only 35 mins to transfer $16 million to your account, and I will want you to keep some parts of the funds for me, or help buy Some properties or invest the funds.
I still have some funds over $16 million dollars, which i kept since 2019 in a secret account of mine with a bank in Europe and also in Asia.
I will want all of the funds out to a safe account Provided by you, Or you can invest the funds until am out of prison.
With my phone I will login in into my private secret accounts and transfer the funds to your account in just 30 mins. But I have to be sure of you and I will tell you what to do, for us not to be exposed, you have to be very smart and you will receive all funds without any problems.
Please am not joking everything am telling you is true. I will prove all to you when I receive your reply, I need a whatsapp number from you, so we can talk on whatsapp.
I got your email from the internet when I was searching for a friend I meet long time ago in Hawaii.
Like I said, I will give you more informations about everything when I hear from you, But am very ready to share the fund With you. 50/50.
if you will secretly assist me and keep the funds in your account or put it in a good business or buy properties,anywhere we can make good profits.
But everything must be fast and the secret must be kept Between us.
Please don't ever take my message as a joke or a scam, i will show you everything once you reply me.
send your whatsapp number now for more discussion. But, please keep everything as a top secret, no person knows about the remaining funds I have in my accounts.
i will wait for your quick reply including your your whatsapp number for easy and safe communication.
You can call me Captain as code name.
Captain
Like with another ladette, this lad kept making me switch between two different Dereks on opposing sides of the law: DI Derek Grim of the Metropolitan/*insert UK location here* and Derek "Del Boy" Trotter of Trotters Independent Traders; the latter Derek wrote back:
Oh, I can call you Captain as a code name? And just what am I supposed to call you as a personal name?
Yours faithfully
Derek Trotter
"Captain" wrote back to say:
Hello
Got your email. Firstly, let me tell you that am not interested in your identity to work with you.
Believe me I don't want any of your informations, like you name, address and identification.
Really I don't need them.
What I want is someone with a good heart.
A good heart will never betray you.
If I know everything about you and at the end of everything, you don't have a good heart, what will I do.
Life has taught me a better lessons, your own blood brother can disappoint you.
Your own wife or husband can betray you.
If your own family member can disappoint you, who can you trust then?
Look, I just need a name to call you and am fine with.
What I need is someone who will give me his honesty and trust.
I will give you my wealth to hold and you also share part of it. But everything must be kept secret.
From experience, you should know that I have lost a lot of friends and family members, that was the reason I decided to look for someone, that I have never meet before.
Because a true friend, is better than a blood brother.
My own wife betrayed me and ran away with millions of dollars.
And she even sold me out to the authorities,that is the reason am under house arrest and over $30 million dollars gone.
Please see the video of my funds on the day I was arrested. Send your whatsapp number.
I lost all the funds in the video.
Please view and delete after viewing.
I will show you my heart and I want you to give me your heart as well.
Be truthful and serious with me.
Don't because of the funds you will make from me, tell me what is not possible.
Now, Derek Trotter may be a fence, but he's not an arms or drugs dealer and he certainly doesn't deal with anyone under house arrest so he wrote back to "Captain" with a refusal and a new contact: Daenerys "Dany" Targaryen or as he called her "The Silver Queen":
Sorry Captain, but you can't expect me to work with someone who's under arrest. My mother would be turning in her grave if she found out I was dealing with this kind of business.
But never fear! Because a new contact is here! That contact is someone who calls herself The Silver Queen who I've copied in on this message for information. Please would you explain this business to her Royal Highness?
Regards
Derek Trotter
Daenerys wrote back to "Captain" on both emails supplied by "Captain": One was the initial email address and the other was a "Reply-To" address, just in case she got a bounce back on the initial email address.
Dear Captain
Ser Derek Trotter has informed me of some business that you are dealing with. Please would you be kind enough to explain this to me?
Yours faithfully
Daenerys Targaryen
His insistence that he will never need to know more than your first name is convenient. Lads obsessioned with WhatsApp are annoying. Only kids play on amateur apps like that. Next he'll try to sell you smuggled military weapons by only accepting iTunes cards