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Re: Goofy crap your lads wrote

Posted: Wed Aug 05, 2020 11:31 pm
by clashcityrockers
Perhaps this is not all that goofy, but I was almost sorry to hear that the lad wasn't feeling well because of my emails.
Mr. <name withheld>,

Please you are giving me headache, you cannot follow simple instructions so difficult to understand, and you will send a parcel without tracking number.

Note: This will be my last e-mail respond to you and if you cannot send the shipping fee to Georgia Shepherd don't contact me anymore.

Thank you as you’re giving me headache,

Mr. David West.
I did tell him (dishonestly) that I had sent him regular checks and even cash at one point to an address he provided. But I told him that they were sent via regular first class mail in normal letter sized envelopes that I dropped off in a mailbox outside of a post office. I just wasn't capable of following his simple instructions to use USPS overnight mail or Western Union or Moneygrams or Steam gift cards. He wanted me to go back to the post office and try to get a receipt or tracking number for a letter already mailed.

I think he was disappointed when I said (again untruthfully) that the letters had been returned by the post office as being undeliverable. But at least I have my imaginary cash back so I may be able to pretend to send the money again if he will only provide a bank routing and account number.

Re: Goofy crap your lads wrote

Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2020 2:18 pm
by bware419ers
OK, BUT THAT'S THE WAY IOT WORKS HERE.
WE CANNOT CHANGE OUR INTERNAL POLICY NO MATTER WHOSE OX IS GORED
ETA:
remember before you go to someone else for a small Amount of loan, your loan was marked to increase up to 350$ as soon you pay the money for the Tax Clearance Certificate which is 7500$ that was why we gave you up to this Amount to pay and believe me the interest is so Amazing, if you can not pay it all you can make a deposit of 60% of the amount you were asked to pay which is 7500$
you need this Tex Clearance Certificate to qualifies for that loan i told you i will speak with you on phone when the time is right we know how we work here, try your best to understand me

Re: Goofy crap your lads wrote

Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2020 5:20 pm
by Deniden
Jennifer is a Giant food I wanted to deliver your package to you I'm cheating on the road now in 24 hours to lunch to your country do not disappoint her or to lose this package

Re: Goofy crap your lads wrote

Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2020 6:52 pm
by bware419ers
I have explained things in details Over and Again :
‘”This is our corresponding bank account and suitable to receive the fee”’ Recognize By Me.
Meanwhile, go ahead and effect the payment sum of $7,000 right away so we can proceed as I have explained to you previously.
Please, RECOGNIZE and RE-CONFIRM this very bank account to your Lender or To Whom It May Concern. Sorry for the incontinence.

Re: Goofy crap your lads wrote

Posted: Sat Sep 05, 2020 12:55 pm
by bware419ers
so do your wank to loose your fund or not so if your no wank to looee
it your will try to go and send the $7500 now ok
:shock:

Re: Goofy crap your lads wrote

Posted: Sat Sep 05, 2020 4:14 pm
by Kitty La Gore
I have a lad doing "the fourteen steps" with my character as she just entered a program after sending him months of incoherent drunken emails where she lost the details to numerous bank accounts. The last step was confessing he is an absolute failure. He embellished a bit:
baby I have admitted that I am a failure and a really ready to do anything to bring change to us. I love you and I will do anything under this sun to put a smile on you face. I love you and I will always love and support you
I'm working my way up to "feats of strength".

Re: Goofy crap your lads wrote

Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2020 10:03 am
by Linoline
I was going through a few accounts I used for ASEM's about 6 months ago and found this gem from a very happy lad
You are a very big foolish idiot for using such words concerning the fee on me.. That we should give you time extension to one week and till today you have not replied back to my messages and to Rev Kenneth Brown IMF New York you said that I should copy to .

You are an empty skull and idiot of the highest order.

I hate a when a matured and educated minded person lie to.. It gets me crazy.

I am very sorry for using this words on you but I don't regret anything.

You are a very big foolish idiot .
And from the same lad
Shame on you old foolish idiot.. Lies don't make you a real man you swan

You are a very big foolish idiot I have ever seen in my life.

Do you think I look like a kid or foolish idiot to you?
I want to bait him again, start over fresh, he seems to be fun

Another happy customer
you don't have any money with you only trying to fuck your dirty ass up

Re: Goofy crap your lads wrote

Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2020 2:46 pm
by Birlic
A too innocent lad wrote:Do you think I look like a kid or foolish idiot to you?
Yeap, that's exactly what we all believe. :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

Re: Goofy crap your lads wrote

Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2022 6:05 pm
by Inspector Gadget
Had this come through :

Sent: Thursday, June 02, 2022 at 12:29 PM
From: "Gov Kim Reynolds" <[email protected]>
To: "Dinsdale Piranha" <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: We are willing and ready to pay you the money in the morning
I write you today to see if you still want that 50 Million Dollars Ms Laura divot want to bring to you? Are you still want it ? I see that you don't trust enough, to front the $2000 to get the 50 Million in cash. When I said that I would pay you whatever you looses if you didn't receive the fund? And it was already in the bank with Ms Laura divot, but you were not willing to tell me or Ms Laura divot that you were not going to pay the fee. Sounds to me like there is something "ROTTEN IN DENMARK that get's me curious wondering why you wouldn't do that for me.

Well Dinsdale, if you cannot do that for me, why should I bother myself in going to the bank to solve the problem? Thing's just don't add up here at all. The only Way that I would accept you with your 50 MIL. is that you would have to buy me and Ms Laura a Steak Dinner for her troubles. And pay an apology.
But trust doesn't seem be a factor when there is Money involved, does it? But, you see? I was born in a time that trust was earned, and you were rewarded in many different ways, in the form of trust in your self, by other's. Anyone who knew you, were willing to trust you without a doubt. I live by that rule.

But, that's alright, had this really matters to you , you would have walked away from here, with a Happy ending.

Thanks anyway,
Kim Reynolds


Looks like I'll be having to find a decent restaurant. (not going to mention the 'happy ending')

Re: Goofy crap your lads wrote

Posted: Fri Jul 22, 2022 7:44 am
by Jimlad
this is composition fund from our office to compensate you for all this camera is beautiful how many years ago you want to compensate you right now you understand what I told you
I wish I could understand what he told me!

:o :o :o

Re: Goofy crap your lads wrote

Posted: Mon Sep 05, 2022 4:04 pm
by Inspector Gadget
Michale Ole in his Christian guise wrote :

I'm thank for your repny but Michael always tell me about your messages. About your mining that grace to get this quality in that shout time. That titanium you talk about it wound be when you come to Ghana.So I wound be expecting you to fulfill your prmiisse in that time to be in Ghana.


I'll have a couple of whay he's had.

Re: Goofy crap your lads wrote

Posted: Tue Sep 06, 2022 9:59 pm
by Myon359
Here's an odd one that came from a lad I've nicknamed "Johnny Boy". It isn't that goofy, but the spellings and the image I saw while reading it were strange and made me laugh. Johnny Boy wrote this:

please forward to me your account where you want the fund to be transfer

Also let know when your ready to assist with the charge , so I can over to America to drink
Champaign and celebrate with you , and also to discus about investment plan


According to the online dictionary:

champaign - noun

A stretch of level and open country; a plain.


Changed the color of "Champaign." Green is reserved for Mod notes! - bware419ers

Re: Goofy crap your lads wrote

Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2022 12:56 am
by Thunderfire
Got a goofy format:
money laundry
everybody who reach you are all stammer's

Re: Goofy crap your lads wrote

Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2022 12:58 pm
by bware419ers
Image

From Big Bang Theory to Flight Attendant to the Justice Department. That girl has talent!

Re: Goofy crap your lads wrote

Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2022 9:10 pm
by Myon359
Here's a rather interesting email I got. For context, I've been baiting this guy "Travis Williams" since Aug. 22nd. After an angry rant a few days back, he got back to me today with apologies. They were accepted of course, and I told him that because he hadn't replied to my mails, I was now working with Kubara Sunday from Lagos. Travis wrote me back quick:

Mr. Alex kindly stop whatever you are doing with that Kubara Sunday if you really want your funds i will advise
you start by remidally suffisticating any communication with any other person claiming to be from our office


Remidally suffisticating. Now how do I do that?

Re: Goofy crap your lads wrote

Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2022 1:09 am
by crashhoot
Myon359 wrote: Fri Sep 23, 2022 9:10 pm Remidally suffisticating. Now how do I do that?
You press down on the Harvy Wallbanger and then push the Pina Colada to the side!

Re: Goofy crap your lads wrote

Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2022 4:22 pm
by Thunderfire
i am the lawyer representing Mr. Samson Inaya, the sick cancer man.

Re: Goofy crap your lads wrote

Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2022 2:00 pm
by Thunderfire
No weapon formed against you shall prosper. The protection of the Lord is upon you. You’re undefeatable. You’ll experience all-round victories today and every day of your life. Good Morning.
8-)

Re: Goofy crap your lads wrote

Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2022 1:17 pm
by bware419ers
There are three charges against you,
which are:

1. Smuggling of a huge amount of money without a Money Laundering
Clearance Certificate
is a violation to Federal Law.

2. Smuggling of a huge amount of money without proper documentation is
a violation 2003 Federal Constitution, otherwise, called illegal
transaction.

3. it's a Conspiracy, a Criminal Attempt and Disobedience to the
Federal Law, which will eventually lead you to 3-year imprisonment.

Re: Goofy crap your lads wrote

Posted: Fri Sep 30, 2022 2:09 pm
by bware419ers
I therefore counsel you to acknowledge the receipt of your message

Re: Goofy crap your lads wrote

Posted: Fri Sep 30, 2022 7:56 pm
by Myon359
bware419ers wrote: Wed Sep 28, 2022 1:17 pm

1. Smuggling of a huge amount of money without a Money Laundering
Clearance Certificate
is a violation to Federal Law.

2. Smuggling of a huge amount of money without proper documentation is
a violation 2003 Federal Constitution, otherwise, called illegal
transaction.
^^^I need to find some of that documentation, I have some goods I'd like to smuggle :P

I can understand a good "So-and-So said you died" format, but this one is ridiculous:

I AM VERY SORRY TO HEAR THAT YOU ARE KNOW MORE TO BE FOUND ON EARTH AND I DONT KNOW THAT THIS IS THE REASON WHY YOU HAVE NOT REPLY THE EMAILS I SENT TO YOU REGADING THE TRANSFERRING OF YOUR FUND...... MAY YOUR SOUL REST IN PERFECT PEACE AND MAY GOD GRATE YOU INTERNAL LIFE ON THE LAST DAY TO COME I AM VERY VERY SORRY.

This lad is apparently trying to rob zombies.

Re: Goofy crap your lads wrote

Posted: Sun Oct 02, 2022 9:16 am
by Thunderfire
I'm too busy for childlessness

Re: Goofy crap your lads wrote

Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2022 5:00 am
by Myon359
Some lines deleted to focus on the goofiness. This guy doesn't know what the heck he's doing:
Try to contact diplomatic to send the document today because some
people are trying to steal your fund...as i was told by Mrs Monica Smith

Email her for more information about what happen......
...................................................................
Diplomatic Contact MR. RUBEN EMILIA
(Lad's other email here)

Please email her not to hand over the boxes to the man in CALIFORNIA

Re: Goofy crap your lads wrote

Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2022 7:14 pm
by Myon359
Got one big sentence from a lad I'm in negotiations with:
Thanks to you specially for responding to my honest proposal to jointly/mutually work with this Godly offer to raise the lives of both the oppressed and deeply wounded at heart as a result evil actions of the rich who want to continually keep those less privileged under impoverishment listen am not a scammer or the likes rather a sincere and honest Godly servant of the most high God who always protect those in need in the earth and also believe every good work will be rewarded by same God and also reward any evil work to those who perpetrate evil works as well and i swear upon the grave of my late Dad who gave birth to me that if you seem to be that person you have shown in this mail reply sincerely i will reveal all the details of this transaction to you and will wish that you also keep all correspondence herein highly confidentially to avoid those evil people mentioned above to have any opportunity of this transaction to avert the danger of leveraging on the relevant transaction information to spread to unconcerned person(s) which will lead to lost of the fund and material that's the needed to feed the poor and those that need this fund and i pray the good lord will keep your alive to receive this precious mail of joy and glory to the lord In Jesus Mighty name amen


It is apparently a sin to use punctuation.

Re: Goofy crap your lads wrote

Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2022 12:46 am
by Annabel
I've been contacted by the Illuminati. This lad seems to be using a similar format to the one that better-be-floss got on page 1 of this thread.

This is my favorite part:
We are delighted to have the journey of your life lead you to discover our organization and would like to explain a brief introduction to our fellowship of The Illuminati. Maybe you've found one of our limbs in the flesh. Or maybe not; we value anonymity, see and know everything exactly as a shepherd sees and knows the whole flock, our eyes scanning the masses to identify any threat to the survival of the human species of our members.