It's all Good, man

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Dissolute Dan
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It's all Good, man

Post by Dissolute Dan » Tue Apr 27, 2021 6:37 pm

ok, lets see how it pans out. Maybe we can get some fun out it.

Bert Goodman : elderley care home resident
Mr Smith: CEO Federal Reserve Bank of New York

Smith is trying to deliver a pallet load of cash to Bert. The delivery company will need paying and the plan is to use a certain logistics company to deliver the courier's fee in cash.

Bert -> Smith
Hello Mr Smith.

I hope you are keeping well. Myself, I'm feeling much recovered these days.

I know it's been a long time but I'd really like to now get our
business concluded. After considerable thought, over the last several
months, I have some projects in mind, which $10.5 million would allow
me to support. Projects that would uplift the world in some minor way.
My recent experience of being so severely ill has made me even more
convinced that we should strive to leave a positive mark in this
world, however small that mark may be. Our stay here is brief.

May I thank you again for being so patient while I recovered from
illness and keeping my delivery safe until I was ready to receive it.

Could you advise on what our next steps should be? My memory of the
previous abortive delivery is, I must confess, rather hazy. What I do
recall is that we must be vigilant, as there are imposters, at every
turn, ready to steal that to which they are not entitled.

Regards
Bert Goodman
Smith -> Bert

The next step now is to get this package delivered to your house address by handing it over to the Delivery Company after knowing you will be ready for that.
Bert -> Smith

Dear Mr Smith,

I'd like delivery in cash, the same as we arranged before.

Are you still using ABC? Their delivery fee was around $3000 I think. I remember that I'd considered that expensive and went shopping around but that's where it all went wrong. Going against your advice, I found a budget operator on the internets somewhere and paid them the delivery fee. By the time I realized they were fraudsters, it was too late.

So this time, I just want to stick with ABC. I know they can offer the levels of security appropriate for an amount of this size. Delivery charges have probably gone up a bit since last year and the covid protocols will also make their operations more expensive. That's something I'm prepared for.

If those arrangements are still ok with you, we can go ahead. I'll confirm the exact transportation and delivery details with ABC in due course.

Bert
Smith -> Bert

We have a ABC company in which we partners with for a long while, so if you are ready, let me know,so that I'll make inquiry about the delivery charge from them and get back to you.
and about 2 minutes later

Smith -> Bert

Well, I've emailed them, and fortunately they got back to me earlier than expected.
After having told them about our interest in the delivery of the package, they prepared for every necessary info and documents,as well as the delivery charges including the Covid related laws which results the amount to be the sum of $7,950.00 (Seven thousand, nine hundred and fifty dollars).
Bert -> Smith

Good afternoon Mr Smith,

I hope you are well.

Thank you for the ABC delivery quote. Higher than previously but I was expecting that. As a percentage of the $10.5M, it's less than 0.1%, and so remains excellent value. I need to have complete confidence both that my delivery arrives safely and also that ABC are paid in a secure manner.

As I've explained. I prefer to use cash wherever possible. The tax authorities in the UK forever poking their noses into citizen's private business. Cash transactions mean that my private business can indeed remain exactly that, private. I intend to use the $10.5M to support several worthy causes, not to be stolen by the taxman and frittered away on hospitals, schools and the like. I hope you will continue to understand my preferences in this regard.

On account of the sum involved, you will remember that I previously examined carefully all the security aspects of ABC's operating procedure. I'd like to confirm that ABC can still meet those requirements. Should I check through these points with you or should I contact ABC directly? In particular, the delivery van needs several security officers. Could you confirm if current best practice is for them to carry firearms or not? The van itself previously met a NATO specification for the transport of high value cargo. Is that still the case? In simple terms, it would need specialist equipment to break into it. Plus, it obviously needs to be electronically trackable at all times.

I will need to rendezvous with the van at a discreet location, to be agreed nearer the time. but within a 200 mile radius of London Heathrow. It will be nowhere near Firstcare. Finally, as I'm unable to move heavy items, I will will need the ABC staff to transfer the cash to my vehicle. Can you confirm that, as previously, this is included as part of their service?

As always, thank you for your assistance.

Sincerely
Bert Goodman

to be continued...
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Re: It's all Good, man

Post by Bertje » Wed Apr 28, 2021 12:13 pm

Split from HH&T thread and moved here. Had to make up a Topic Title, feel free to change to your liking @Dan
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Re: It's all Good, man

Post by Dissolute Dan » Wed Apr 28, 2021 7:15 pm

Smith -> Bert

Hi Mr Goodman,
Thanks for your feedback.
Like I said, everything are intact.
From the previous mistakes, we learn more by making sure there will no longer be any obstacle in this delivery this time.
Everything you mentioned here including the security officers and personal aide who will help you in carrying the fund into your car or anywhere, are all ready.
It's upto you to arrange and make the payment for the delivery and the procession starts immediately.
Thank you
Smith -> Bert

Good day Mr Goodman,
How are you?
Please get back to me.
Although the delivery charge already stands at $7,950 maybe it's not quite enough
Bert -> Smith

That all sounds good Mr smith.

I'm thinking of storing the delivery at a property I've owned for many years in Scotland. It's in the Aberdeen area, where I grew up. Initially, I thought I'd keep the delivery in my sister's London lockup garage, but on reflection, the Scottish location would be more secure. I realize that ABC deliver to London Heathrow, and delivery to Aberdeen involves an additional 500 miles each way. Appropriate social distancing might require the accompanying staff to travel in a second vehicle. Could you ask ABC to requote, but for delivery to Aberdeen? Would it be possible for me to meet with ABC in London, maybe at Heathrow, and then travel in their vehicle to Aberdeen? I will not be needing transport in other direction, that is back from Aberdeen to London.

Also, I need the delivery to fully insured against fraud, theft, fire and so on. Is that already included?

Sincerely
Bert
But Smith seems to have reached his limt in how much he wants to charge.

Hi Mr Goodman,
All these things you've stated has already been prepared for.
The reason for the security personnel which will accompany the delivery is for them to be able to deliver at any location of your choice in the UK.
Like I said, the only delay I'm aware of now is for you to make the delivery payment so that we will proceed without delay.

Get back to me Mr Goodman.

Get back to me Mr Goodman.
Bert -> Smith

Did you check if it's acceptable to ABC that I meet them at Heathrow and travel in their vehicle to Aberdeen?

I've already had both 1st & 2nd covid jabs. However if the ABC distancing policy prohibits such an arrangement, I fully understand.

Bert
Smith -> Bert

Yes, it's acceptable Mr Goodman.
Ask more stupid questions? Never clarified if the security team will be carrying firearms...
Or maybe it's time to decide how ABC's courier fee is to be paid.
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Re: It's all Good, man

Post by Bertje » Wed Apr 28, 2021 9:17 pm

A serious man would ask serious question. After all, security is not laughing matter.

Do the guards have weapons?
Which weapons?
Were they trained in the use of said weapons?
When was their last training?
Do they have permits?
Is the security firm a BSIA member? https://www.bsia.co.uk/

Etc
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Re: It's all Good, man

Post by Dissolute Dan » Fri Apr 30, 2021 7:01 pm

Next morning, Smith is keen to get started.
Smith -> Bert
Good morning Mr Goodman
Are you there?
Bert -> Smith

Dear Mr Smith,

Finally, we are ready to go!

Thank you for your clarifications regarding security, insurance and so on. I know that you've had a longstanding relationship with ABC and will have checked all the points I raised already. I do, however, like to confirm the finer details myself.

As you know, I always prefer to deal in cash and my previous experiences have left me distrustful of the various money transfer services. I've therefore employed a courier to deliver to you a package containing $7,950 US to cover the ABC charge. As the figure ABC quoted was in US$, the package contains US currency. I did not convert into GBP. I hope that's acceptable.

You will be contacted shortly by the courier in order for you to arrange a delivery address. In the meanwhile, you can access their website here: http://www.a-logistics-company.com/

Thank you for all your work in getting our transaction to the final stage.

I hope to hear from you shortly with details of how I should liaise with ABC regarding delivery particulars.

Sincerely
Bert Goodman
You'd have thought that Smith would be delighted with this news, but he's not happy.
Smith -> Bert

Thank you for your email.
I must let you know that you must have to meet the courier right away and take back your money.
If you are not ready for this transaction, then let's forget about it.
Thank you.
Are you there Mr Goodman
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Re: It's all Good, man

Post by Bertje » Sun May 02, 2021 2:11 pm

Meanwhile, mr. Goodman has contracted the services of a certain well known 5-Star logistics company to deliver the agreed upon fees to mr. Smith.

Mr. Smith has supplied the courier with a NY based address (which is interesting), so possibly a mule is in play here. For now, the parcel is slowly making it's way from London to NYC, not necessarily taking the most direct route.

Our friend is tracking the parcel constantly, with a Nigerian IP.
Plog costumer reviews:
"you couldn't even give a half star service and you are talking of 5 star. 5 star my foot" - mr. Sunday after 2 safari's


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Re: It's all Good, man

Post by Bertje » Thu May 06, 2021 10:13 am

The issues that our friend was having with Plog not being on an SSL secured server have been mitigated. The Plog webdevelopment team has successfully rolled out side-wide SSL encryption!

Due to a computer server issue, the sending of the parcel has been delayed, but our friend has just gotten the message that the parcel is now finally on board of an aircraft crossing the Atlantic.

Lets just hope that the server issues that Plog encountered won't make it be on the wrong plane so it ends up in the Benin hub......
Plog costumer reviews:
"you couldn't even give a half star service and you are talking of 5 star. 5 star my foot" - mr. Sunday after 2 safari's


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Re: It's all Good, man

Post by Bertje » Thu May 06, 2021 3:46 pm

Uhoh
Hello Sir,
I just checked the tracking and it says that it has arrived at my location but I can see Cotonou on the map instead of Brooklyn.
Please get back to me,cus I'm confused here.
Thank you
Plog costumer reviews:
"you couldn't even give a half star service and you are talking of 5 star. 5 star my foot" - mr. Sunday after 2 safari's


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Re: It's all Good, man

Post by Kitty La Gore » Thu May 06, 2021 5:16 pm

Hard to believe a company with a consistent 5-star rating could get the delivery location wrong... must be a user error on the lad's side.
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Re: It's all Good, man

Post by Bertje » Thu May 06, 2021 5:40 pm

You would think that, but it seems that the issue is on the Plog side, this time!

Several anxious and confused emails have been received by Plog Customer support, urging them to
please be very carefull with that package
(that's what she said)

Plog answers:
Dear mr. Smith,

Thank you for your email.

I apologise for the belated reply. We have been swamped with Customer Support requests and are trying our best to help everyone as fast as possible.

The server issues yesterday seem to have been caused not by equipment failure, but by hackers that have been able to access our network. No customer data has been compromised, but the hackers have been able to access the logistics database. Apparently, they have changed several sections of the database, which has led to corrupt delivery information for a large number of parcels. At this moment, we estimate that about 25.000 parcels are affected. The corrupted information has led to mislabeling of parcels, which caused them to be sent to the wrong Logistics Hub.
Your parcel, which indeed was intended to be sent to our hub in New York, was diverted to our West-Africa hub in Cotonou, as you have been able to determine yourself. We offer our deepest apologies for the inconvenience.

Our IT technicians are working around the clock to rectify the situation. Regretfully, we estimate that the reinitialising and reconstruction of the database could take as long as two weeks, during which time we are unable to ship any parcel between our hubs, while the hubs themselves remain in operation. Local delivery services can be maintained.ย 

Regretably, this means that it will take at least two weeks for us to be able to retrieve your parcel and forward it to our New York Hub. Alternatively, we can can deliver the parcel to an address that is serviced by the Cotonou hub (a large portion of the West African region) within a few days, although I realise that there is little chance you would be able to provide us with such an address.
Again, we deeply apologise for the inconvenience. It goes without saying that any damages that you might suffer from the delay will be fully compensated by us.

Please, do not hesitate to contact us if you have any questions or concerns.
Almost instantly, he replies
This is totally unacceptable to me!
I'm so sad hearing about this but I hope nothing happens to my parcel.

You will have to check if my parcel is among the ones that were diverted to Cotonou, I will thereby send you an address which it will be delivered to near Cotonou.
Kindly get back to me as soon as possible.
Mission accomplished: NY mule bypassed and we are now dealing with the lad himself (NIgeria)
Dear Mr. Smith,

I understand your disappointment, and would like to extend, again, our deepest apologies.

I will contact the manager of the Cotonou hub, mr. Cumberband, and will ask him to verify if your parcel is indeed among the parcels that were sent there. If this is the case, I will ask him to contact you directly to assist you in resolving this matter.
Plog costumer reviews:
"you couldn't even give a half star service and you are talking of 5 star. 5 star my foot" - mr. Sunday after 2 safari's


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Re: It's all Good, man

Post by GrassEater » Thu May 06, 2021 6:47 pm

Wonderful play! I love how quickly he's accepted the diversion, but if I were dealing with world-famous 5-star service, I'd do the same.
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Re: It's all Good, man

Post by Bertje » Thu May 06, 2021 8:38 pm

He did accept quickly. Almost as if it was easier for him that way :D.

Meanwhile:
.
That's great, thank you very much.
Help me and tell him that the address i will give to him is in Porto-Novo in Benin Republic
Not Nigeria, but close enough.

Tomorrow the manager will contact him....and the "ID" phase will start...I'm hoping for some great Biometric Pictures!
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Re: It's all Good, man

Post by Bertje » Fri May 07, 2021 7:34 am

Bernard Cumberband, manager wrote: Good morning mr. Smith

my name is Bernard Cumberband . I am the operational manager of Plog' Cotonou hub. I was asked to contact you regarding the parcel mentioned above.

I can confirm that you parcel is securely stored in our High Value Parcel holding vault at the Cotonou hub. Please let me know your intentions with the parcel and I would be more than happy to assist you in getting it to you asย soon as possible!

Cheerio
Immediate answer:
Ok thank you very much.
I'm very much happy for your getting in touch.
I'm going to forward to you an address for the delivery of the parcel on my next email.
Thank you so much
Hi Mr. Cumberband
Below is the address I'll like you to send my package to,

<address>

Please! Please!! and Please!!!, Do me a favor by sending back this same address to me so that I'll confirm that you didn't make any mistake, or having it changed by the acclaimed hackers who diverted my parcel to Africa instead of New York United States.

I have a colleague at this address who will help me to get it for me this address: <address> so I'll like you to send me back the same address just like I did to you.
Thank you
Plog wrote: Dear mr. Smith

Thank you for the information.

My drivers tell me they will also need a reference like a landmark or well known building to be able to find the location, as our navigation software struggles with the naming convention used for the addresses.

Furthermore, as this is a High Value Parcel, I will need the full name and date of birth of the person that will take delivery of the parcel, as well as a copy of their official government ID.

If you can provide me with this information, I will be able to release the parcel for delivery at very short notice.

Cheerio,
Dead Mr Bernie Fletcher,
I must tell you that you have no reason to ask for the identification information of the receiver of the parcel.
It's all on you to make sure that I received my parcel because it's not my fault that my parcel was delivered at another location instead of New York United States.
Thank you
Plog wrote: The parcel is marked as a High Value Parcel. This means that we will require identification before and at the moment of delivery. Without proper identification, we can not deliver the parcel.

If the recipient of the parcel does not possess an official government ID, we can offer our secure Biometric Identification Procedure at no additional cost to you.

Please let me know how you would like to proceed.
Hi Cumberband,
This is the identification ID of the recipient of the parcel.
He's the person to help me in getting it back to the US.

The address remains the same

Image
After this, he's requesting a status update every 5 minutes with both mr. Cumberband and the Customer Support
Plog's Cumberband wrote: hank you for your message.

We are currently processing the provided information. As you might expect, the mishap with the database breach is causing some delays. As soon as I have more information about the delivery window, I will get back to you.

I appreciate your patience and understanding.
Plog costumer reviews:
"you couldn't even give a half star service and you are talking of 5 star. 5 star my foot" - mr. Sunday after 2 safari's


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Re: It's all Good, man

Post by Bertje » Fri May 07, 2021 11:36 am

Cumberband wrote: Dear Mr. Smith,

We have processed the information you provided.

We have run into a problem. The passport you have sent us is flagged in both Interpol's I-Checkit database as in the EFCC database. The reason for this is unknown to us, as the grounds of the of the passport being flagged are not provided to us by either organization.

This means that we, in accordance with federal regulations and international law, are not allowed to deliverย the High Value Parcel to the holder of this passport. I apologise for the inconvenience, but there is really nothing we can do.

Normally we would request you to nominate another recipient of the parcel, but as the circumstances in which we are now are extraordinary, I might have an alternative. As mentioned before, we offer an alternative means of identification, namely the Biometric Identification Process. This process is proprietary to P-log and we are not required to log this data with the law enforcement agencies. This means that, even if a person were to be flagged by the authorities, we would still be able to attain the necesarry level of secure identification, without triggering any flags or warnings.

Please rest assured that I will do my best to assist you in resolving this issue!
Cheerio,
Like I've said yesterday, I am highly disappointed in dealing with an unprofessional company like the Plogs.
I gave you an address to deliver a parcel to me, and all you could do is to send the parcel to another address.
This is totally unacceptable to me!
I hereby call for call back of the package to my main address or you send it back to UK so that we could use another courier company.
Thank you
Get back to me now!
Cumberband wrote: Dear mr. Smith,
while I understand your frustration and disappointment, I kindly requestย that you try to stay civil and that you stop ordering me around. Thank you.
I have understood your instructions and will divert the parcel back to our Central European hub for further processing. As you might know, with the current database corruptions being dealt with, we are unable to divert parcels between hubs at the moment. We estimate that this situation will remain so for at least two weeks. After that your parcel will be sent back to Amsterdam.
Should you change your mind and want the parcel delivered at the address in Porto Novo or any other address , please let me know
Cheerio
I wonder if he still feels the same, if the sender of the parcel is contemplating canceling it because he still has not heard about his funds
What has database has to do with a package of mine and the address I gave to get it delivered?
Cumberband wrote: Dear mr. William,

as I have explained before, the issue is not the address you have provided, but the person you nominated to receive the parcel. While doing a (routine) check of his passport, we received warnings from both Interpol and the EFCC's systems that this person was flagged by their systems.

While we are not provided with reason for the flags, it generally means that this person is wanted by Interpol or the EFCC. As explained we are not allowed to make deliveries of HVP parcels to such persons.

I will gladly make arrangements for the delivery if the person is willing to do our Biometric Identification Process (which bypasses the need to check the passport and will therefore not trigger any flags with law enforcement) or to another location or person in the serviceable area of our Hub (Benin, Togo, Nigeria, Ivory Coast or Burkina Faso) at no additional costs.

Cheerio
Thank you for your response.
I will look into this and will get back to you shortly, either with a different address or if it wi be sent back
Plog costumer reviews:
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Re: It's all Good, man

Post by Bertje » Fri May 07, 2021 5:47 pm

Hi mr. Cumberband
I've asked my friend whom I sent his address earlier this morning, but he's not gotten back to me yet.
I have a suggestion,
Can you send me the address of your Cotonou sub, so that I'll have someone to come over there and pick up the parcel?
If the request is guaranteed, I'll forward a copy of an ID of the person to you immediately.
I'll be waiting for your response.
Thank you
I was not able to reply right away, and found my mailbox full of urgent reminders and strongly worded letters. The last of which:
Hi Mr Fletcher,
I hope you are aware that, the parcel at your watch right now was sent to me for a purpose, and we chose your company because we wanted to patronize you?
Why then is it hard for you to get back to me?
Cumberband wrote: Dear mr Smith,
Thank you for your email.
You seem to be under the impression that you are the only customer I am dealing with. Let me make this perfectly clear: you are not.
I have already explained to you that I am doing my best to arrange for a speedy delivery of your parcel. Besides that, I am dealing with exactly 134 other customers that are in the same situation you are. I will respond to you when I am ready to do so, not sooner. Your cries for attention will not expediteย this.
Furthermore, you did not choose our company, the sender of the parcel did. He is our primary concern, as he is our Customer and has paid us for our services. This does not mean that I am not willing to assist you, but your continuousย calls for attention are not warranted. Please be patient while we are dealing with this situation.ย 
As for your request for a local pick-up: this is not possible due to Covid restrictions and regulations.
Cheerio
Plog costumer reviews:
"you couldn't even give a half star service and you are talking of 5 star. 5 star my foot" - mr. Sunday after 2 safari's


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Re: It's all Good, man

Post by Dissolute Dan » Sat May 08, 2021 2:36 pm

Bert gets several mails from Smith to which he is too busy to respond.

Bert -> Smith
Good morning Mr Smith.

Apologies for the delay, I've had an issue that's taken me away from
my mail for some of the time.
Could you give me an update? I was expecting to have heard from ABC by
now, but I have not. Ideally I'd like a couple of days notice for the
delivery.

Bert
Smith -> Bert
Good morning Mr Goodman,
Unfortunately, the courier company you chose for the delivery claimed that they met with hackers and the parcel was diverted to Cotonou in Africa instead of my New York City address I gave them.
Bert -> Smith
What? I've never heard of the place. Where is it?

I thought you were in New York.
Smith -> Bert
That's what I saw on the tracking site.
I lives in New York and that's the address I gave them.
They claimed they were disturbed by some hackers.
You have their email and phone number, you can call and confirm from them.
Bert -> Smith
I've just looked it up. It's in Benin, a country I've never even heard
of in west Africa!

What the fuck is it doing there?
Smith -> Bert
The company will explain more to you.
I'm so upset and sad about this.
Bert -> Smith
I could have looked up your bank's address in New York and given that
to the courier, but you probably have several offices, even within
NYC. I thought it would be better to leave it to you to say where you
want it delivered.

I was concerned the day when you misunderstood my mail because you
were sleepy. That was around 11am local time in NYC. Google can look
that up if you ever it. How can you be sleepy at 11 in the morning? Is
there some urgent business on requiring that you work nights at the
moment? Were you fully awake when you gave the courier your NYC
address?
Smith -> Bert
Lol, I was awake my friend, I checked my address everyday and it remains the same.
I'll forward their email to you right now.
Mr Smith forwards to Bert the mail he got from logistics company that explains all about the hacked database.

Bert -> Smith
So have they now sent it on from cotonou to to NYC?
Smith->Bert
I tried to see if one of my former colleague from that area will help in receiving it, but they didn't grant him the access.
I suggest you call it back, it's better I give you an account number to send the fee to, or they bring it to my NYC address.
We don't want the package called back to the uk. Smith needs to think that delivery to his 'contact' in Africa is the best option, even if it means jumping through a few hoops.

Bert -> Smith
Dear Mr Smith,

I've just read through the mail you forwarded me from a-logistics-company.
I don't understand how they could be so slack in their security
arrangements that hackers could get in and wreak such havoc. I will
certainly be looking for compensation from them in due course.

This whole thing is just causing me too much stress. Exactly what my
doctor said I should avoid. I'm already on medication to lower anxiety
because it affects my heart.

Maybe I'll recall the package and forget the whole thing. You could
give my fund to charity. I was planning to use the money to do work
for the public good anyway, I guess the only difference is that I had
particular projects in mind which I'd intended to support.

Regards
Bert
Is he persuaded? Don't know yet.

Smith -> Bert
It's not advisable to forget about receiving this fund of yours just because of a mistake.
Already they've said that the parcel is still in a safe hand.
What we need now is to plan on how to get the parcel to the said destination which is my address or I may have someone sent to there to pick it up for me.
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Re: It's all Good, man

Post by Bertje » Sat May 08, 2021 8:33 pm

During the day, mr Cumberband has received several impatient emails from our friend. As it is his day off, he was unable to reply. Tomorrow morning, our friend will find this in his email box
Cumberband wrote: Dear mr. Smith,

good morning.

Saturday is my day off. I was unable to respond to your emails. Or rather, I was able, but I didn't.

As I have explained to you before, I will get reply to your emails whenever I have the time, and when it is relevant.

As for the status of your parcel, you have indicated that you want it returned to the Central Europe hub, for forwarding to New York City in two weeks. You also mentioned the possibility of having it forwarded to another address in our servicing area here in West Africa, but since you have not gotten back to me on that matter, I am assuming this is not the case.

Cheerio,
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Re: It's all Good, man

Post by sparky905 » Sun May 09, 2021 4:07 pm

I know things have not gone as planned, but I, for one, have complete and utter faith in the shipping company to make this right. I've seen it before where they not only come through in the end, but they often offer discounts to their satisfied customers to compensate them. 10% off their next shipment or something like that is more than fair!
๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ญ ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฎ ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ท ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฆ ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ญ ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฌ ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ช ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฆ ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ X157

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Re: It's all Good, man

Post by Dissolute Dan » Wed May 12, 2021 1:27 pm

With the transaction at a crucial juncture, it's an odd time for Bert to be ignoring his mail.

Smith -> Bert
Good day Mr Goodman,
Hope you had a wonderful weekend?
Please I am expecting to hear from you concerning my previous email to you.
Get back to me as soon as possible.
Thank you
Good morning Mr Goodman,
I'm still waiting to hear from you, why are you still silent on you.
Mr Bert,
What's really going on?
Are you in for this at all, why have you left your phone for days now,even after being informed of the state of this business?
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Re: It's all Good, man

Post by Bertje » Wed May 12, 2021 1:40 pm

Cumberband, Plog wrote: Dear mr. SMith,

Just a short update.

I have made arrangements for the parcel to be returned to the European hub and then forwarded to NYC. Before I can finalise this, I need final confirmation by the Sender of the parcel, mr. Bert. However, mr. Bert is not responding to my emails, so I am unable to process the redirect at this time.

if you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me.

cheerio
Thank you for your email.

I also emailed Mr Bert late yesterday afternoon but till now I've not gotten his response.
Hopefully he will respond soon.
Thank you
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Re: It's all Good, man

Post by Bertje » Fri May 14, 2021 7:00 am

Sad news. P-log receives word of the death of mr. Bert
Care home, to Plog wrote: Sirs,


It is my sad duty to advise that our much loved resident, Mr Bert passed away on May 9th 2021. Cause of death has been given as heart failure.

During his time at DuPont Care, Mr Bert endeared himself to us all with his courtesy, astonishing stories and wicked sense of humour. He will be much missed by residents and staff alike.

At the request of Mr Bert;s brother, Ernie, DuPont Care have dealt with the late Mr Bert's accumulated mail, where possible. In that process we discovered Plog invoice 2021-41172 and thus became aware of the ongoing business between yourselves and the late Mr Bert.

I assume that the invoice is a posted hard copy of a digital version already sent via email.

While invoice 2021-41172 appears to have been paid, I would be obliged if you would let me know of any further services you have provided to Mr Bert for which payment is outstanding.

I am required to provide to Mr Bert's executors a list of his assets, known to DuPont Care, so that his Estate can be valued and in due course divided amongst the beneficiaries named in his will.

Regarding the shipment of invoice 2021-41172, best practice advice from our legal department is that:
If the shipment has already been delivered, we have no further interest in it.
If the shipment is at one of your distribution hubs, and local delivery to the named recipient, or recipient's agent can be effected from there, that would be acceptable.
Beyond that, please do not transfer the shipment to any further distribution hub other than back to the uk and into the care of Mr Bert's executors.
I am unaware of the exact terms and conditions, to which Mr Bert would have agreed before using your service. Should there be any provision therein that conflicts with the general advice we have been given, please advise accordingly.


Thank you in advance
Lucy Beige

Business Manager(Medical)
Dupont Care
Plog forwards this message to mr. Smith:
Cumberband, Plog wrote: Dear mr. Smith,

With regards to your parcel we have received the sad news that the Sender of the parcel has passed away. Our company has received instructions to return the parcel to the Estate of the deceased unless we are able to deliver the parcel locally.

This means that we will have to return the parcel to London and we will unable to forward it to NY, as you requested. However, we would be able to arrange for delivery locally (in the servicable area of the Cotonou hub).

Please let me know how you wish to proceed.

Cheerio
to which the Lad replies:
Lad wrote: Dear Mr Cumberband,

I received the sad news of my friend, Mr Bert's death, I'm highly hurt, and in total regret.

It has done a great harm to me which will take a very long time to heal.

As for the parcel, what are the requirements for the local delivery???
Thank you
Cumberband wrote: My condolences for your loss.ย 
As for the matter at hand: as stated before, we can do delivery in Ghana, Togo, Benin, Nigeria, Burkina Faso and some parts of Niger. As the parcel is marked as High Value, we can only deliver to someone who can provide a official government ID (which may not be flagged). Alternatively, identification can be done with our proprietary Biometric Identification Procedure (BIP).
If you can provide me with an address in the mentioned area and have someone that meets the ID requirements, delivery should not be a problem.
Cheerio
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Re: It's all Good, man

Post by sparky905 » Sat May 15, 2021 4:32 pm

"delivery should not be a problem" I had to laugh reading that! What could possibly go wrong?
๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ญ ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฎ ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ท ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฆ ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ญ ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฌ ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ช ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฆ ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ X157

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Re: It's all Good, man

Post by Dissolute Dan » Wed Nov 17, 2021 5:17 pm

Smith -> Bert
For wasting my time, money and data all these while, I will make sure that you die in your real life.
What befall your acclaimed Bert Goodman will happen to you multiple times.
The only difference is that Bert Goodman doesn't exist but you the handler of this email, you will never know peace.
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Re: It's all Good, man

Post by Dissolute Dan » Wed Nov 17, 2021 5:54 pm

Six months pass. A number of dubious mails arriving in Bert's in-box go unanswered. To be expected, on account of him being dead.
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Re: It's all Good, man

Post by Dissolute Dan » Wed Nov 17, 2021 6:08 pm

I wonder if Mr Smith is still open to temptation...

White -> Smith

In the Estate of Bertrand Michael Goodman Deceased


Dear Mr Albert Smith

Rogers-White have been appointed by the executors of the late Bertrand Goodman to prepare and submit Estate Accounts. When a person dies, UK taxation law requires submission of Estate Accounts to HMRC for the calculation of Inheritance Tax.

To calculate the estate value, we are are required to enumerate, to our best knowledge, both assets and liabilities of the late Mr Goodman.

Pursuant to this, we have received bank account statements together with a volume of both correspondence and detailed private records which Mr Goodman kept on file.

In the course of our enquiries, we have identified a number of aborted transactions where it appears Mr Goodman attempted to make a payment to you to facilitate delivery of unspecified valuable goods in your safekeeping.

In short, it's possible that Mr Goodman's estate owes you monies, somewhere in the region of $8,000 US. We assume that figure was to cover both storage costs for Mr Goodman's property and delivery.

Could you please advise if you do indeed have any outstanding claim on the estate of the late Mr Goodman. If so, we will be happy to settle his account and arrange to take receipt of his property. Given Mr Goodman's passing, in May of this year, we understand that additional storage charges may have accrued. It will be acceptable for your invoice to include an appropriate increment.

I look forward to hearing from you.

With best wishes
Dennis


Dennis White
Senior Associate
[email protected]
Rogers White LLP
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
London xxxxx
:pig: some

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