The Church of the Lamb has new members

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Birlic
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The Church of the Lamb has new members

Post by Birlic » Mon Sep 07, 2020 12:09 pm

- It all started last week, when the following message arrived on Father Edward's email address:
My Dear Beloved Reverend Edward,

My name is Rev John Paul ; I am 54 years old now. I have been suffering in the sick bed for the past 7 years. Now I believe that my time has come to join my ancestors in heaven. I got your email address from the Internet, as the spirit of Almighty God directed me to contact you for this charity work.

I have $10.5M deposited in a safe location, which I want you to claim on my behalf for an important charitable project. Can you honestly do this for me?

Remain bless in the Lord.
Rev. John Paul.
- Usually, almost every week, I send some ASEM to scammers in my list and, depending on the answers received, I go on or not.
- This time, I suspected that some of the messages I received may be from the idiot Quin (who wants to check if the death of old Chancellor Edward is real), so I answered differently:
Our brother in Faith Edward died, God rest his soul. I'm father Nectarie, the church secretary.
What can we do for you?

Blessings,
father Nectarie
- The idiot tried to continue with his script:

My Dear Beloved Nectarie,

I thank you so much for your message, also sorry for the late reply because am in sick bed and I donโ€™t check my email every day based on doctors instruction which I must follow for my days to be long, regarding to the charitable work, bear it in mind that I was directed by God almighty to contact you for this charitable work and I believe you will take care of this project by visiting difference charity organization in your location once you receive the funds.

Note that am using laptop and am still in the hospital for treatment as I have been in sick bed since 7 year now that is the reason why I contact you before I will join my ancestors in heaven, note that 20 % of this funds belong to you and the remaining balance 80 percent will be for others charity organization in your country.
Furthermore your informationโ€™s will be needed such as your full name together with your address and telephone number so that I will forward it to the place where the funds is been deposited as my next of kin to the funds, I know my time has come for me to join my ancestors in heaven.

Always pray for me whenever you are praying with your family. A Christian that is persistently in prayer will always achieve result Jesus teaches about prayer to his disciples, asked them to pray persistently , a prayerless Christian is a powerless Christian. Start praying now because prayer is the key, prayer is a constant disturbance from man to God for desired needs, there is a standard for prayer which Jesus explained in the book of Matt.6:5-14, adoration, confession, supplication and thanksgiving.

Once again can you be honesty to do this work for God almighty?
Remain bless in the Lord.
Rev John Paul.
- Of course, I always try to get them out of the script, and here I applied the same technique:
I am sorry, but we do not do business with people who are not members of our Congregation. If you had been healthy, I would have offered you to become a member of the church (after which we could have discussed the business). But you are in your last days of life, so all you have to do is pray. Intensive. Deep.

Blessings,
father Nectarie
It was the last time I heard about the dying Rev. John Paul. :lol: :lol: :lol:
===

Strangely, on the same day I received 2 different messages addressed directly to Secretary Nectarie (I do not use Nectarie's address to send ASEMs never, so surely those 2 messages are indisputably linked by Rev. John Paul).

- One of the messages is this:
Dear sir/Ma
I am led in my spirit to write anyone in your commission that has a prophet calling about the experiences I've been having lately in dreams & divine revelation through the written word of God-the Bible...I can be reached on +234701966****...Direct line/WhatsApp.i am 55yrs old a practicing Christian from Abia state in Nigeria. My name is brother Amiade Emionye. I am married with 3kids ...a twin girls& a boy to the glory of God.
Yours faithfully
Bro. Amiadi Emieonye.
- The second message is this:
Goodday Father,
My names are Ezechuku Namidi Obi. I'm from Nigeria. I bumped into your Church website and was marveled by your teachings. I'm highly interested to become your member.
Please guide me accordingly sir

Bless your kind heart
Ezechuku Obi
===

I continue to correspond with both idiots, but the one who answers most promising is the second one (Mr. Obi)... this is his story.

- father Nectarie wrote back to Obi... I took into account that the idiot might have something to do with Quin, so I took the opportunity to mention the premature end of the "previous Nigerian parish". :mrgreen:
Dear brother Obi, God bless you!

Let me tell you that we are a Christian Church, we believe that Jesus is that Sacred Lamb that has been crucified for our sins and we believe that we should carry the heavy burden of humanity on our shoulders. Our main headquarters is in Aberdeen (UK) and we have few small branches in America, Canada, Europe and Africa. We do charity and support especially the orphans, the elders and the homeless. We consider it our duty to help those in need.

If you are really a Christian and if you want to establish a parish in your village, we will be happy to support you. Of course, we will need to know you better and for that I ask you to send me some details about you, about your life, about your family... anything you think can help us to know who is the man who wants to be our Reverend in Nigeria.

I have to tell you that we have already tried to inaugurate a Nigerian diocese, but that man we chose to represent us turned out to be a bad man who did not deserve our financial and moral help. So we were forced to excommunicate him and suspend the activity of his parish. I hope you are our Chosen One!

I am waiting for your message with all the required details.
Be blessed, in the sacred name of our Holy Lamb!
father Nectarie
- Obi to father Nectarie:
Good Morning Father,
I have been in deep thoughts since after reading your last e-mail. This is a decision I don't have to make in a hurry so I decided to think over it again and again.
Now about me, my full names are Ezechuku Namidi Obi. Obi is my surname. I'm an Anglican by birth and the last son and the 5th child in a family of 7.
My father's name is Chief Samuel Obi and he's late. My mother is a retired school principal and a Lay Reader in the Anglican communion.
I'm presently married with 2 sons and living in Owerri the state capital of Imo State in Nigeria. I'm presently doing a voluntary work as a cordinator in the Public Safety department of Imo State government.

I have great desire to serve God in honest and in truth. I stumbled on your church webpage and after a thorough reading and meditation into what your church teaches and presents, I felt an inner urge inside me to be a part of your church. I found love and desire in the doctrines and what your church believes in. "Extending corporal work of mercy to the poor and needy".

I would need some clarifications father.

Do I have to be single before I can become a reverend in your church and someone to plant your church around my area and country in general? As practiced in Catholic churches?

Can I become a reverend in your church and the chosen one without underdoing the processes required to become an ordained priest ?

I'm not presently an ordained Priest but someone who has the zeal to work in God's vineyard and help propagate the gospel of your church in Nigeria.

Thank you Father for your time and hoping to read from you soon.

Yours in Christ,
Obi
- Where the Faith is strong, nothing can stop the work of the Lord :D , so father Nectarie wrote to our idiot... of course, it is always useful to remember about the material advantages: salaries, bonuses, sponsorships. So:
Brother Obi, may God bless you!
Son, let me confess that your sincere words delight me and make me think that maybe you are the providential man we need to set up a new nigerian Parish.

The Faith is not something that is learned in school, but something you are born with. If you really are a good Christian man, if you want to be with us, if you feel that the Call is strong in your soul and if you think you could be our local Reverend there, then we can discuss it in detail. Please, think very well and do not rush! The Faith is something you choose to share with your brothers and sisters! You will have the opportunity to be our representative and you will have to take care of all your sheep there.

I will try to answer all your questions, and if there are things that are not sufficiently explained I will ask you to let me know.
The Admission Process among our community members has a few simple steps:
- You will need to apply to become a member of the church. It is about a simple request and a photo taken under the necessary conditions according to the regulations. Everything will be explained in detail.
- To become a Reverend, you will need to be able to gather around you a number of parishioners who want to follow you and become your flock. Together with them you will go through the next steps of Admission, and we will be with you with advice and guidance.


Your final Baptism Ceremony is equivalent to the official recognition of the existence of your new Parish and your appointment as Local Reverend. The development and charity budget as well as the monthly salaries for you and your assistants will be discussed immediately after graduation. Also, usually an installation bonus is offered for the Reverend (for the proper equipping of the parish with all the necessary equipment - computers, telephones, printers, etc. and for purchasing all the necessary materials for the daily activity). But all these are just minor details that will be treated separately, immediately after the final Baptism Ceremony.

So, if Faith is strong in your heart and if you have some trustworthy people around you who want to follow you, then we are willing to give you the chance to become our new Reverend and to establish our new Parish. It is a huge responsibility, which comes with benefits as well as obligations. If you accept this important task, then you and your people must become members of our community and be baptized in the sacred spirit of the Holy Lamb. I know the Admission Process is something formal, but it must be done according to our Sacred Rules. My assistant (the first secretary of the church) will assist you throughout the entire process and it will explain all the necessary steps, so that it will be easy for you to understand what the requirements are.


Think well and talk to all those around you about this responsibility; you don't have to give me the answer right now. Look into your soul and find the answer there!
Be blessed, in the sacred name of our Holy Lamb!
father Nectarie
- A hopeful candidate writes to father Nectarie:
Greetings Father Nectarie

Thank you for your prompt response. I will like to know some further details before I can be able to make up my mind.

How is the Baptism process conducted? I hope it will be in line with the holy bible and hope that the sacred rules of your Baptism is not anything fetish of some sorts but typically inline with the Holy Bible?

Will the Baptism and all the process and our communication be basically online alone? No form of physical meeting ?
I will so appreciate meeting you or anyone associated with your church in person some day soon or during these Baptism and guidance process for smoother correspondence.

How many number of flocks do I need minimiun to start a parish? I have already gathered 4 people working under me whom I have told about my new found faith and they are ready to follow me but want to confirm if everything associated to your church is 100% a Christian group.

Bless your kind heart sir.

I can be able to send you pictures of me if I can have a direct WhatsApp line to reach you.
Obi
- Of course he has some questions, but we will proceed as usual: we will talk a lot about money and we'll minimize the Admission process steps. Father Nectarie writes to Obi: :mrgreen:
Dear my son,

Normally, the Admission process takes place under the natural guidance of one of our representatives who is present in the new parish and who supervises everything in accordance with the rules of the holy church. But we are now living in difficult times and the Covid pandemic has made it impossible to travel, so this time all the preparations will be made online, via email.

A functioning parish has a minimum number of 12 parishioners, just as our Lord Jesus had 12 apostles. From these, you will choose those 2 assistants who will help you lead the parish. They will be chosen from the most dedicated and faithful of your parishioners. Obviously our desire is for you to be able to gather around you as many adherents as possible, so that the sheep are shepherded as Jesus tells us in his teachings.

You don't have to rush to send anything yet, because all those things will be done under the direct guidance of the church secretary. Son, we work in the traditional way and all the details are recorded in the administrative archive of the church, so you will be advised not to make decisions before talking to the church secretary. For details on our activities related to prayer, charity and orphanage it is useful to study the church website.

Blessings,
father Nectarie
- Obi to father Nectarie... everything seems to sound very good, so he is determined to try to become a Reverend. :mrgreen:
Father Nectarie
Thank you for the clarification. I have had my eyes glued on the church website.
And believe everything is falling into place.

I will love to speak to the church secretary for further details of the admission process.

May his name be praised.
Obi
I asked Linoline to agree to help me again, so the church secretary (Sister Dave) will be on the scene soon.
- father Nectarie wrote a message to Obi and sister Davina:
Brother Obi, God bless you!
If your decision is final and you want to become our new Reverend in Nigeria, then please contact our Congregation Secretary (sister Dave Weelson - you will find her email address in CC) and begin the Admissions procedure immediately. If all goes well, in maximum 3 weeks we can register our new parish there and we can send the first financial funds necessary for the operation (salaries, development budget and installation bonus). It all depends only on you and the people around you. A good Reverend has the support of his community, this is the essence of a functional parish! After you will be appointed as the local Reverend of our new Parish there, we will continue with the legal registration with the local authorities. It will be your duty to deal with the issue of all the necessary authorizations. We will discuss all these details at the right time and we will define together the annual budget that will be allocated to your parish (the salary for you and your assistants, the installation bonus, the amounts needed for the local charity, the amounts needed for the daily functioning of the parish, etc.).

Dear sister Dave, blessings!
Please guide our brother Obi and make sure he understands and respects all our procedures. He is a good Christian, he's a responsible and trustworthy man, so I decided to give him the opportunity to become our local Reverend and to establish a new parish there. Explain to him all the necessary steps and help him with all the information that he will ask for. He is already a Christian man and has summary knowledge about our Religion, so we will apply the summary procedure for Admission (only those last 3 steps) and then we will allow them to finish the Admittance process with the Baptism Ceremony.

I want to be kept up to date with the evolution of the admission process and the related formalities.
I will intervene as often as necessary.


Glory to the Holy Lamb, glory to Jesus!
Be blessed, all of you, in the sacred name of our Holy Lamb!
father Nectarie
===

From his final reactions, I begin to believe that he has nothing to do with Quin and I hope that he will agree to go through all the necessary steps of the Admission process among the illustrious Reverends of the Holy Lamb church. May the milk and honey flow on his head, in front of the pyramid built by himself and his parishioners! Hallelujah, amen! :lol: :lol: :lol:
Let the lads come to me!

- A lot of :pig: and many :movie_camera:; 1x:gun:; 1x:goat:; 6x:church:; 3x:hourglass:; 1x :goldenpith:; 35x:tophat:; :cake:; 1x:whip:; 1x:tattoo:
- My travel agency: Accra-Tamale; Akure-Kamba; Akure-Bohicon; Bamako-Siguiri; Banjul-Basse; Banjul-Dakar; Banjul-Karang; BeninCity-Lagos; BeninCity-Seme; Brikama-Basse; Brikama-Dakar; 2xBrikama-Karang; Brussels-Lausanne; Cotonou-Accra; Cotonou-Djougou; Idiroko-Aneho; 2xIdiroko-Cotonou; Idiroko-HillaCondji; Lagos-Abuja; Lagos-Bamako; Lagos-Bida; 7xLagos-Cotonou; Lagos-Lome; 2xLagos-Seme; Owerri-Abuja; Warri-Cotonou;

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Birlic
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Re: The Church of the Lamb has new members

Post by Birlic » Tue Sep 08, 2020 7:01 am

- Sister Dave writes to our idiot (an Adhesion form is attached):
Dear brother Obi,

I am happy to hear that you want to become a new reverend for our great church and spread the word among the people around you. It is always a joy when the Lord adds to our flock and sends us strong and willing leaders who want to be the shepherds to the local sheep around them and guide them on the way to divinity.

Before we can start the procedure of becoming a reverend, as you might understand, it is vital that you first become a member of our church. For this it is required to fill a form and to make a proof of faith picture, which every of our members have done before you. It is just a formality before we can start your installment as a local reverend, so I want to ask you to please fill out the form attached to this email in red ink and send a scanned or clear photographed copy back to me at your earliest convenience.

Be blessed
Dave
- The moron:
Hello Dave
I'm in receipt of your e-mail and form attached. I will complete the form and send back to you tomorrow being Tuesday.
Thank you for the guidance and bless your kind heart.
===
Let the lads come to me!

- A lot of :pig: and many :movie_camera:; 1x:gun:; 1x:goat:; 6x:church:; 3x:hourglass:; 1x :goldenpith:; 35x:tophat:; :cake:; 1x:whip:; 1x:tattoo:
- My travel agency: Accra-Tamale; Akure-Kamba; Akure-Bohicon; Bamako-Siguiri; Banjul-Basse; Banjul-Dakar; Banjul-Karang; BeninCity-Lagos; BeninCity-Seme; Brikama-Basse; Brikama-Dakar; 2xBrikama-Karang; Brussels-Lausanne; Cotonou-Accra; Cotonou-Djougou; Idiroko-Aneho; 2xIdiroko-Cotonou; Idiroko-HillaCondji; Lagos-Abuja; Lagos-Bamako; Lagos-Bida; 7xLagos-Cotonou; Lagos-Lome; 2xLagos-Seme; Owerri-Abuja; Warri-Cotonou;

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Re: The Church of the Lamb has new members

Post by sparky905 » Tue Sep 08, 2020 11:36 am

After the recent Nigerian experiment which ended so badly, it is encouraging to see the church actively seeking new members. This is wonderful news.....
๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ญ ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฎ ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ท ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฆ ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ญ ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฌ ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ช ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฆ ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ X157

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Birlic
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Re: The Church of the Lamb has new members

Post by Birlic » Tue Sep 08, 2020 1:56 pm

Obi to sister Dave:
Hello Sister Dave
As promised, see the completed form as attached.
Obi

Image
Sister Dave to Obi (another form is attached):
Dear brother Obi


Thank you for sending your form. I have reviewed it and it is good. The second and final step of becoming a member of our church is the 'Proof of Faith' picture. All our new members make them and the pictures of aspiring reverends will be displayed on the wall of our church hall for some time, so all parishoners can become familiar with the new reverends. The donations of our parishioners are the funds that will pay the salaries for the reverends and parishes until they are self-sufficient.

I have attached the document that you will need to print. Hold it in front of your chest, and have someone make a picture of you in bright daylight so you will be completely visible and please send that back to me.

After this we can work on the process of you becoming our new reverend.



Be blessed
Sister Dave
Let the lads come to me!

- A lot of :pig: and many :movie_camera:; 1x:gun:; 1x:goat:; 6x:church:; 3x:hourglass:; 1x :goldenpith:; 35x:tophat:; :cake:; 1x:whip:; 1x:tattoo:
- My travel agency: Accra-Tamale; Akure-Kamba; Akure-Bohicon; Bamako-Siguiri; Banjul-Basse; Banjul-Dakar; Banjul-Karang; BeninCity-Lagos; BeninCity-Seme; Brikama-Basse; Brikama-Dakar; 2xBrikama-Karang; Brussels-Lausanne; Cotonou-Accra; Cotonou-Djougou; Idiroko-Aneho; 2xIdiroko-Cotonou; Idiroko-HillaCondji; Lagos-Abuja; Lagos-Bamako; Lagos-Bida; 7xLagos-Cotonou; Lagos-Lome; 2xLagos-Seme; Owerri-Abuja; Warri-Cotonou;

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Birlic
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Re: The Church of the Lamb has new members

Post by Birlic » Thu Sep 10, 2020 7:04 am

Well, well, well...

Obi to sister Dave:
Hello Sister Dave
See attached pic
Obi

Image
Sister Davina:
Dear brother Obi,

Thank you for sending me the picture, however I want to point out that I mentioned in my last message that you should make the picture outside in daylight with you completely visible, instead of inside behind a desk. I want to ask you to please correct this.

Be blessed
sister Dave
Obi to sister Dave, another trophy:
Hello Sister Dave
Pls confirm

Image
Sister Dave:
Dear brother Obi,

Thank you for sending me these new pictures. I can confirm that these are correct. Please let me be the first one to officially welcome you as a brother of our church. I will present your form and pictures to the elders and they will decide if we can proceed with the process of you becoming a reverend for our church. I will get back to you as soon as I hear their decision.

Be blessed
sister Dave
Obi, full of hopes:
Dear Sister Davina
Bless your kind heart for confirming the picture as being good.
As Father Nectarie advised, I have gathered about 12 people so far and trying to also get more needed to form a parish here. Please don't hesitate to also let me know where to attend church services as a member of the church if I'm not approved to become a reverend of the church here.
Thank you very much for the guidance.
Obi
The EXIF of the pictures confirms that he is indeed in Owerri. :D
Let the lads come to me!

- A lot of :pig: and many :movie_camera:; 1x:gun:; 1x:goat:; 6x:church:; 3x:hourglass:; 1x :goldenpith:; 35x:tophat:; :cake:; 1x:whip:; 1x:tattoo:
- My travel agency: Accra-Tamale; Akure-Kamba; Akure-Bohicon; Bamako-Siguiri; Banjul-Basse; Banjul-Dakar; Banjul-Karang; BeninCity-Lagos; BeninCity-Seme; Brikama-Basse; Brikama-Dakar; 2xBrikama-Karang; Brussels-Lausanne; Cotonou-Accra; Cotonou-Djougou; Idiroko-Aneho; 2xIdiroko-Cotonou; Idiroko-HillaCondji; Lagos-Abuja; Lagos-Bamako; Lagos-Bida; 7xLagos-Cotonou; Lagos-Lome; 2xLagos-Seme; Owerri-Abuja; Warri-Cotonou;

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Re: The Church of the Lamb has new members

Post by bware419ers » Thu Sep 10, 2020 2:09 pm

Biometrics needed with the mask on, too?
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Re: The Church of the Lamb has new members

Post by Birlic » Fri Sep 11, 2020 9:30 am

^^^ LOL! Of course, yes :D ... we just need the Safari ban to be removed, so we can send them many packages full of electronics and money. :D :D :D
Let the lads come to me!

- A lot of :pig: and many :movie_camera:; 1x:gun:; 1x:goat:; 6x:church:; 3x:hourglass:; 1x :goldenpith:; 35x:tophat:; :cake:; 1x:whip:; 1x:tattoo:
- My travel agency: Accra-Tamale; Akure-Kamba; Akure-Bohicon; Bamako-Siguiri; Banjul-Basse; Banjul-Dakar; Banjul-Karang; BeninCity-Lagos; BeninCity-Seme; Brikama-Basse; Brikama-Dakar; 2xBrikama-Karang; Brussels-Lausanne; Cotonou-Accra; Cotonou-Djougou; Idiroko-Aneho; 2xIdiroko-Cotonou; Idiroko-HillaCondji; Lagos-Abuja; Lagos-Bamako; Lagos-Bida; 7xLagos-Cotonou; Lagos-Lome; 2xLagos-Seme; Owerri-Abuja; Warri-Cotonou;

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Re: The Church of the Lamb has new members

Post by bobdemol » Sat Sep 12, 2020 11:42 am

Hope he goes far. Good luck on this one 8-)
yOU WICKED AND EVIL MAN,PERISH TO HELL WHERE YOU BELONG - Obinna

You have made me get to take my drugs. -Claude Dominique after ticking over 1000 boxes-

FOR THE LAST TIME DONT EVER SENT ME EMTY SLIP AGAIN -Barrister Mustapha-

why must you act like childish game. -Eng Uzeze-

why are u so stupid and fullish like that go to hall. u idiot - Topman Stephen

LOOK AM SICK AND TYRED WITH ALL THIS TAMBAMBLING OF YOUR. -Barr. Bulunga-
:peng: :e-egg: :e3: :goat: :$_lad: :flag_ng: :flag_gh: :mortar: :sandtimer: :cellphone: :$_crd: :tattoo: :pith: :pith: Linos: Togo-Benin :pith: Mike Obidi: Onitsha-Lagos-Accra (1800KM/1120Miles)
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Re: The Church of the Lamb has new members

Post by MrMystery314 » Sat Sep 12, 2020 9:35 pm

I deeply regret that I was never able to get my recent trophy lad to conduct any exorcism rituals. Maybe if you're lucky and this guy sticks around for a while, he could be persuaded to do something exciting beyond the tattoo and baptism, ideally involving lots of fire. A safari is more exciting, of course, but until those can happen, creative alternatives must be found.
:uk::boot: :horse: :goat: :penguin: :penguin: ๐Ÿ† ๐ŸฆŽ ๐Ÿฐ ๐Ÿฐ ๐Ÿฐ :pig: :pig2: :movie_camera: :hourglass: :church: :santa: :crown: :tophat: x27

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"Bro i have seen hell"-Mr. Humphere
"Also i know how inquisitive all this press can be, i hope the picture of the goat fucking me is not on news or news paper"-Mr. Humphere
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Re: The Church of the Lamb has new members

Post by Birlic » Sun Sep 13, 2020 11:49 am

September 10 - sister Dave writes to our idiot:
Dear brother Obi,

Earlier today the elders had their meeting and spoke about your application. They have decided that you are an adequate candidate to become a reverend for our church in Nigeria. You already have proven yourself to be a man of the faith and one of our true brothers so the Lord couldn't have chosen better than to send you to fulfil this task and spread the word in your country.

There are a few steps that need to be taken to become a reverend. You can view these as your spiritual journey to prepare you for your task to lead a parish and be shepherd of your own flock. You don't need to worry about anything, because these steps will not be hard to do, but you will need to prepare them in prayer and guidance of the Lord.

To become a reverend, first you need to gather a few disciples to help you with the tasks in front of you. Jesus had 12 apostles, so the preferred number would be 12, but since this is a very new decision that you have made, we will not expect you to have 12 disciples already, this process might take some more time, so we suggest that you start with 4 people to help you. Unless the 12 persons you spoke about earlier are willing and suited to become your official helpers. You will need them also to pray for you and the task that lies ahead of you. It is of utmost importance and the disciples will each earn a salary once your parish is operational, which will not be as much as the reverend, but we expect them to dedicate their time to the new parish and they will need to provide for their living as well.

Together with these disciples you will have to recreate a Biblical scene, the one where Moses parts the sea after the Lord has led them out of Egypt. You will have to dress in a robe, wearing a cloak, or something resembling these clothes and hold a rod in your hand like Moses did. Your disciples will need to be dressed equally but it should be clear that you are their leader, like Moses was the leader of the Israelites when God led them away from Egypt. Pray together and read the Biblical story to feel the message that the Lord wanted to give us through this history. Then you will find a place close to water. This should preferably be the sea, a river or a stream, but if you can't find it, a lake, or even, by lack of that, a swimming pool will be accepted. Since this is about your reenactment of the scene and not the scenery itself. You will need to act out 4 different parts of the story and from each of these parts you will have to send us 5 pictures, so a total of at least 20 pictures is what we expect you to send us.

- Moses and the people kneeling down praying to the Lord
- Moses with raised hands while the people are still kneeling
- Moses with his rod raised to the sky, people looking in awe at the parted waters
- Moses and the people with raised hands praising the Lord for the miracle of salvation.

Remember that this is a spiritual process which has to be guided by prayer of you and your disciples. We don't expect you to rush this process and send us these pictures today, but we do expect you to keep communicating with us about the progress you are making in the preparations for this task that will prepare you to be the leader of your own flock.



Be blessed
sister Dave
Our idiot is unhappy that he has to work, so he started with "I want to talk on the phone".
Sister Dave
Thank you for your message. I will meditate over it and gather my flocks and prepare towards the process.
Can I also have a telephone number to call you for more information?
Bless your kind heart
Obi
Sister Dave:
Dear brother Obi,

Thank you for your message. I have made a pledge of poverty and therefore I don't own a phone. We believe that it is inefficient to communicate through phone, because it causes a big distraction during our spiritual tasks, prayers, etc. If you need to communicate with me I hope you will respect this and we can communicate through email.

Please let me know how many people you have available now to be your official parish helpers, we would like to be updated about any information regarding the progress of your parish and the process of you becoming our new reverend.

Be blessed
Sister Dave
Our idiot insists:
Sister Dave
I need to communicate with someone in your church on phone. Emailing is not enough for me. If you have time to email then you should have time to talk on phone. I need to know that I'm not communicating with any robot of some sorts. I'm sorry if this sounds rude but I also need to make my enquiries to confirm who I'm dealing with
Bless your heart
Obi
Sister Dave:
Dear brother Obi,

To be honest, you are being rude and I want to emphasize that you can not dictate how we do things in our church. We have our ways of handling situations and our way of working and we will not accept anyone to change that. If you really need to speak on the phone, our number is +44LENNY. Father Leonard, or Lenny, as we call him, is in charge of taking calls for the parish. I have to tell you that it will be more effective to communicate by email, because Lenny is suffering from Alzheimers and has trouble remembering things, but he is a faithful brother who has been with us for 40 years already.

Be blessed
Sister Dave
It seems that he gave up, because in the last 2 days he has not written anything... so, Sister Dave writes again:
Brother Obi,

Since my last message, 2 days ago, I haven't heard from you again. Have you spoken to brother Leonard? He didn't tell me anything about it, but like i said, he forgets many things. I like to get an update about the progress of the steps towards your initiation as a reverend.
I don't mean to rush anything, but we are convinced that with the current pandemic, many people are in need and we can start our financial support of your new parish once these steps have been completed and your parish is declared officially operational. The budget available for your parish is $25000 and we know that the community around you will also benefit from this. We pray that the Lord will outstretch His hand toward you and your community.

be blessed
sister Dave
Let the lads come to me!

- A lot of :pig: and many :movie_camera:; 1x:gun:; 1x:goat:; 6x:church:; 3x:hourglass:; 1x :goldenpith:; 35x:tophat:; :cake:; 1x:whip:; 1x:tattoo:
- My travel agency: Accra-Tamale; Akure-Kamba; Akure-Bohicon; Bamako-Siguiri; Banjul-Basse; Banjul-Dakar; Banjul-Karang; BeninCity-Lagos; BeninCity-Seme; Brikama-Basse; Brikama-Dakar; 2xBrikama-Karang; Brussels-Lausanne; Cotonou-Accra; Cotonou-Djougou; Idiroko-Aneho; 2xIdiroko-Cotonou; Idiroko-HillaCondji; Lagos-Abuja; Lagos-Bamako; Lagos-Bida; 7xLagos-Cotonou; Lagos-Lome; 2xLagos-Seme; Owerri-Abuja; Warri-Cotonou;

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Re: The Church of the Lamb has new members

Post by Linoline » Sun Sep 13, 2020 1:11 pm

Looks like brother Obi did make a call to Lenny 2 days ago. He said he'd get back to sister Dave about it on email... but he didn't

(google drive link, close your personal account before clicking)
:gpig: :$_crd: x5 :$_lad: x1232 :vcamera: xmany :pith: x30 :tattoo: x6 :sandtimer: x3 :sandtimer::sandtimer: x2 :cotog: x4 :mortar: :trophy: :whip: :jboot: :flying_monkey: :mcfry: ๐Ÿ† :pbear: :santa: :jack: ๐Ÿฐ

My Collection of lad frustration

"I never taught you to be evil. But carry on" - Oscarpiles
"You are diabolically evil...." - Sparky905
"It really sucks to be a scamming lad around Linoline." Conny L. Gus
"You put money in the parcel now am suffering you are not helping" Sven
"You put me through this with all the bastard you called your client" Daniboy
"I know you wanna bring me to Netherlands so you will suck my blood and eat my flesh" - Calimero

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Birlic
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Re: The Church of the Lamb has new members

Post by Birlic » Sun Sep 13, 2020 4:16 pm

The idiot is rude and lazy... he writes to sister Dave:
Sister Dave
I spoke to Brother Leonard and like you said, he was not picking up with what I was saying. I need to talk to someone clearly on phone about these processes. What about Father Nectarie that connected me to you? Can I not speak to him or did he also pledge for poverty and does not have a phone?
I think I must talk to someone before I proceed with this process. And if I may ask, why are you suddenly using the word "initiation" for the process of becoming of a priest? That does not sound Christian to me.

Obi
Sister Dave:
Dear brother Obi,

Like I told you, we are not using the phone for communications. I gave you brother Leonards phone number so you'd have someone to communicate with on the phone. He failed to mention that you called and when I just asked him about it he didn't know anything about it.
It is possible that I don't use the words that you are used to and I apologize for any inconvenience this caused, but I am not a native English speaker and I might not always use the correct words, but I do believe that you are understanding what I meant.
If you have any further questions, please don't hesitate to contact me or father Nectarie.

Be blessed
sister Dave
I don't think we'll be able to have fun with this panicked idiot who wants to talk on the phone.
We will see in the next few days.
Let the lads come to me!

- A lot of :pig: and many :movie_camera:; 1x:gun:; 1x:goat:; 6x:church:; 3x:hourglass:; 1x :goldenpith:; 35x:tophat:; :cake:; 1x:whip:; 1x:tattoo:
- My travel agency: Accra-Tamale; Akure-Kamba; Akure-Bohicon; Bamako-Siguiri; Banjul-Basse; Banjul-Dakar; Banjul-Karang; BeninCity-Lagos; BeninCity-Seme; Brikama-Basse; Brikama-Dakar; 2xBrikama-Karang; Brussels-Lausanne; Cotonou-Accra; Cotonou-Djougou; Idiroko-Aneho; 2xIdiroko-Cotonou; Idiroko-HillaCondji; Lagos-Abuja; Lagos-Bamako; Lagos-Bida; 7xLagos-Cotonou; Lagos-Lome; 2xLagos-Seme; Owerri-Abuja; Warri-Cotonou;

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Re: The Church of the Lamb has new members

Post by Linoline » Sun Sep 13, 2020 6:14 pm

18:36 Obi
Sister Dave
It appears strange that your church does not have an office phone number for communication. Why then did Father Nektarie mention that monies will be provided for the new parish in Nigeria for buying of office telephone and computers when your church in UK whom I'm supposed to copy from does not have a telephone number for communication?
Does not mean that no elder of the church has a telephone except the Leonard you have me his contact ?
You never responded to my question on if Father Nektarie himself does not also have a phone number?
Your name is Dave W. which is English and you say you are not a native English speaker? Which language then is your native language? Why using the word initiation in Christiandom?

I will not be able to continue with this process if I don't speak to someone about all these. Email communication alone does not appear right to me especially when we met over the internet.

I'm sorry but I can't continue until I get to speak to someone. Don't think that the $25,000 you mentioned will attract me to go out of my way and policies because it will not.
Obi
18:52 Sister Dave
Dear brother Obi,

I am happy to hear that it is not the money that entices you to start a parish in your country. It is admirable that monetary gain is not what you are seeking, but the ways of the Lord. Hallelujah!

About myself. I was born and raised in Belgium. My ancestors are from Canada and after the second world war my grandfather, who was with the allies who saved Europe, fell in love with my grandmother and decided to stay here. I have his name, but not his native English skilss as you might understand. Flemish is my first language.

Initiation is merely a different word for inauguration and it might be poorly chosen in the context but you know that it means that you will be installed as a reverend for the local <SNIPPED> church in your country if you decide to continue with this process.

I have explained to you already that the only way to reach us by phone is through the number that brother Lenny uses. This is the way we have done things for many years. We do realize that this might seem strange to you but to us it is our protocol and we abide by this. Because we know that different parishes and reverends make different choices we give the local parishes the freedom to make these choices for themselves. It might be needed for you to travel around to reach every member of your future parish and communication by phone might be neccesary. That is why you get the option to make these choices for yourself. If you wish to adopt our protocols regarding this, then it is highly encouraged and you can use the budget available for other materials you think you will need for your parish.

You see brother Obi, there is a great deal of freedom of choice here, but there are also rules we abide by. It is this balance that keeps everything clear to everyone while at the same time it adapts to all different situations.

Be blessed
Sister Dave
:gpig: :$_crd: x5 :$_lad: x1232 :vcamera: xmany :pith: x30 :tattoo: x6 :sandtimer: x3 :sandtimer::sandtimer: x2 :cotog: x4 :mortar: :trophy: :whip: :jboot: :flying_monkey: :mcfry: ๐Ÿ† :pbear: :santa: :jack: ๐Ÿฐ

My Collection of lad frustration

"I never taught you to be evil. But carry on" - Oscarpiles
"You are diabolically evil...." - Sparky905
"It really sucks to be a scamming lad around Linoline." Conny L. Gus
"You put money in the parcel now am suffering you are not helping" Sven
"You put me through this with all the bastard you called your client" Daniboy
"I know you wanna bring me to Netherlands so you will suck my blood and eat my flesh" - Calimero

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Re: The Church of the Lamb has new members

Post by Birlic » Sun Sep 13, 2020 9:16 pm

This arrogant idiot wrote to Father Nectarie... He tries to impose his will and make the rules.
Father Nectarius
Good evening. I'm sorry I can't continue with this process as I have a whole lot not cleared to me. Why can't I speak to you or anyone on phone? Email communication alone seems fishy for me and until I get myself cleared on the identities of people I'm dealing with, I will not push this further.
I have sent my own picture, please can I see a picture of you? I also need to see you holding a paper written "Ezechukwu" and also your form of ID to be cleared.
Why has Dave used the word "initiation" for the process of becoming a reverend? That sounds evil to me as one only gets initiated into an occult world and not into Christian activities.

I need to speak to you on phone so kindly avail me your telephone number.
Obi
The idiot is not the ideal candidate, but at least we can try to frustrate him a little.
Son, your attitude is not worthy of our Reverend and in these conditions we do not trust to leave the fate of a parish in your hands. Respect for hierarchical superiors must come from within, not be imposed! Satan is already in your soul, because he makes you behave foolishly and have doubts about the Faith. You live with the false feeling that we have to prove something to you; well that's a mistake! In general, only homosexuals behave the way you behave, which makes me sincerely doubt your morality. We do not need such people in the middle of our community!

Sister Dave, starting tomorrow we will look for another candidate for the position of Reverend. Brother Obi has just revealed his true character, so we cannot continue to work with him. You know very well that we cannot accept gay among our members.


Blessings,
father Nectarie
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Last edited by Birlic on Mon Sep 14, 2020 7:01 am, edited 1 time in total.
Let the lads come to me!

- A lot of :pig: and many :movie_camera:; 1x:gun:; 1x:goat:; 6x:church:; 3x:hourglass:; 1x :goldenpith:; 35x:tophat:; :cake:; 1x:whip:; 1x:tattoo:
- My travel agency: Accra-Tamale; Akure-Kamba; Akure-Bohicon; Bamako-Siguiri; Banjul-Basse; Banjul-Dakar; Banjul-Karang; BeninCity-Lagos; BeninCity-Seme; Brikama-Basse; Brikama-Dakar; 2xBrikama-Karang; Brussels-Lausanne; Cotonou-Accra; Cotonou-Djougou; Idiroko-Aneho; 2xIdiroko-Cotonou; Idiroko-HillaCondji; Lagos-Abuja; Lagos-Bamako; Lagos-Bida; 7xLagos-Cotonou; Lagos-Lome; 2xLagos-Seme; Owerri-Abuja; Warri-Cotonou;

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Re: The Church of the Lamb has new members

Post by Birlic » Mon Sep 14, 2020 7:00 am

More frustration...

Obi to father Nectarie:
Nectarie.
You clearly avoided my questions instead you started speaking to the gallery. You think the money quoted will entice me to follow you blindly? The Bible asked us to test all faith as not all is from God almighty. You call me homosexual because I wanted clarification on your identity having never met you before but only communicate via internet. If you think I will believe in emails and act foolishly just because of money then you got the wrong person.
Go ahead and look for a fool that will follow you blindly and act on emails.

So long for now.
Father Nectarie:
To you, I'm "father" Nectarie, not Nectarie. Show me respect when you send me a message!
Only homosexuals act irrationally and under the pressure of hormones, so I was probably right about you.

"I also need to see you holding a paper written "Ezechukwu" and also your form of ID to be cleared".
This phrase is not a polite question or request, but rather a show of impudence and arrogance, and we do not allow such behavior.

The fact that we choose to keep in touch with our representatives via email is a common and normal practice, taking into account the fact that we have international branches. We do not need people in whom the Devil has already planted the seeds of distrust, so you can consider that you are freed from all your tasks. Hallelujah, amen!

Blessings,
father Nectarie
Obviously, we won't get anything from him. Both Linoline and I believe that there is a big coincidence between Quin's "reappearance" and this idiot. Probably our little Nigerian bishop wanted to check our story and probably this new idiot is already informed about the "tasks" he has to do. :lol: :lol: :lol:
===

Obi to father Nectarie:
I called you Nectarie because I have not seen a valid proof to know the identity of who I'm dealing with. Do you also know that scammers operate via email and give many reasons why they can't speak on phone? How can I differentiate our communication with communication with a scammer when I can hear the voice of whom I'm speaking with?
Does a homosexual marry a wife and have kids?

Come out real and show your identity. The money you promised for the new parish cannot fool me.
Father Nectarie:
Son
1. You were the one who contacted the church via email. Not viceversa! We do not do business with people who are not part of our community.
2. Your claim to my identity documents is an unjustified impudence. I don't remember me, or anyone in the church, asking you to send us a copy of your ID. So you can start by sending the picture with you and your ID.
3. I don't think you're married and have children. Your behavior is dubious and impulsive, just like all homosexuals are. There is no point in hiding, because we are not interested in your private life.
4. The budget allocated to the development of parishes is not something that can be promised, but it is an everyday reality. The fact that you do not understand how a branch works is related to your intellectual capacity.
5. As you write to me, I realize that you are not the right person for our purposes, so I don't understand your interest in continuing this suspicious game. You are probably a criminal, an accomplice to the one who has already tried to steal the church's money by pretending to want to be named our bishop in Nigeria.

Blessings,
father Nectarie
Let the lads come to me!

- A lot of :pig: and many :movie_camera:; 1x:gun:; 1x:goat:; 6x:church:; 3x:hourglass:; 1x :goldenpith:; 35x:tophat:; :cake:; 1x:whip:; 1x:tattoo:
- My travel agency: Accra-Tamale; Akure-Kamba; Akure-Bohicon; Bamako-Siguiri; Banjul-Basse; Banjul-Dakar; Banjul-Karang; BeninCity-Lagos; BeninCity-Seme; Brikama-Basse; Brikama-Dakar; 2xBrikama-Karang; Brussels-Lausanne; Cotonou-Accra; Cotonou-Djougou; Idiroko-Aneho; 2xIdiroko-Cotonou; Idiroko-HillaCondji; Lagos-Abuja; Lagos-Bamako; Lagos-Bida; 7xLagos-Cotonou; Lagos-Lome; 2xLagos-Seme; Owerri-Abuja; Warri-Cotonou;

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Re: The Church of the Lamb has new members

Post by MorganleFay » Mon Sep 14, 2020 11:47 am

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

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Re: The Church of the Lamb has new members

Post by Birlic » Tue Sep 15, 2020 2:00 pm

This little story seems to have ended prematurely, but the church of the Holy Lamb has other adherents... if all the things go according to established rituals, I will open another topic.
Let the lads come to me!

- A lot of :pig: and many :movie_camera:; 1x:gun:; 1x:goat:; 6x:church:; 3x:hourglass:; 1x :goldenpith:; 35x:tophat:; :cake:; 1x:whip:; 1x:tattoo:
- My travel agency: Accra-Tamale; Akure-Kamba; Akure-Bohicon; Bamako-Siguiri; Banjul-Basse; Banjul-Dakar; Banjul-Karang; BeninCity-Lagos; BeninCity-Seme; Brikama-Basse; Brikama-Dakar; 2xBrikama-Karang; Brussels-Lausanne; Cotonou-Accra; Cotonou-Djougou; Idiroko-Aneho; 2xIdiroko-Cotonou; Idiroko-HillaCondji; Lagos-Abuja; Lagos-Bamako; Lagos-Bida; 7xLagos-Cotonou; Lagos-Lome; 2xLagos-Seme; Owerri-Abuja; Warri-Cotonou;

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