After an initial plan to drop the lad he keeps coming back for more. Things have taken off in the past week with the following correspondence from ET (the 15 year old CEO of the VCF), Chiori (the VCF accountant), Doc Tedy (the next to useless doctor of the VCF), Howard (nephew to the late Elizabeth Doody) and now Rob Stinger (CEO of Sony Music no less). Here is a brief summary of the copious emails....
1. Death and sickness still the norm at the VCF
2. Apparently there is a namesake of Howard in the museum. Amongst the usual stock photos of the dead and sick is a photograph of a boy crying who I am told is Howard. He looks about 5 years old (more later)
3. Oh no, Howard has Polio and Doc Tedy needs money to fly to Nigeria to save him
4. During all this the lad manages to screw up the Bitcoin numbers and Howard has had enough and refuses to pay any money so that he can spend the money on the rock band he is forming
5. Wow, would you believe it, it just so happens Doc Tedy knows Rob Stringer the head of SONY MUSIC. Rob has written emails to Howard (Doody) offering him all kinds of free instruments (trumpets, violins, oboes, flutes, trombones [the sort of stuff NOT wanted by a rock bank]) and a recording contract - and only $2000 for delivery
6. Howard categorically refuses to send any money to a 'f***ing 15 year old schoolgirl. Doc Tedy asks if Howard would send the money to Howard (the polio victim) if ET were to stop running the orphanage. Howard doesn't respond directly
7. A miracle!!. Doc Tedy has found the money to fly over to Nigeria, cure Howard of his polio and gasp... persuade ET to stand aside and let Howard (polio) run the orphanage. And the most amazing part.. Howard has been transformed in to a 21 year old and can run the orphanage.
Now the heavily edited correspondence.
Howie please save us
, a number of 247 of my brothers and sisters died last night, due to this on going plight
- and YES Doc Tedy has confirmed the deaths and illness are caused by that strange medical condition, unknown to the rest of the medical world, as "plight"
Like I said, I'm truly sorry please one last chance, to air is human and to forgive is Divine,.. over 300 died last night.... what should I tell Howard
Hey Lizzie, you asked what you should say to Howard? Tell him you fucked up the Bitcoin number several times and that's why he is gonna die from the plight. Tell him that it was a fucking dumb idea to put a 15 year old in charge who hasn't got a fucking clue how to run an orphanage. That should cheer him up
[FROM DOC TEDY]
I was told a boy at the orphanage home named Howard (your name sake) is very ill and has been pleading that you please make the donation today to save his life..... Secondly it is about your BAND. I onced promised you that when I return to the US, I will look into the matter of promoting your band Music, Have you heard of the "SONY MUSIC ENTERTAINMENT"? What does Sony Music do? As predominantly a music production company, Sony Music Entertainment is responsible for finding, recruiting and recording the work of talented artist in the music industry.The company is large, and has many different labels and genres.
The CEO of Sony Music entertainment in person of Mr Rob stringer is a very close friend of mine and as promised I spoke to him about you, which he explained the bands at Sony Music entertainment which he said you'll fit in one of the following; Rock band; calypso band; mariachi band. He said you'll fit in one of the musical group, usually employing brass, percussion, and often woodwind instruments, that plays especially for marching or open-air performance.
Hey Lizzie, yeah well YOU gave me the frigging wrong number so don’t try and blame me that your brothers and sisters are dying, that is YOUR fault.. You nearly lost me 1000 cos of your dumb mistake. Listen, with no due respect you are too young to be running the orphanage. You are out of your depth. Ive just written to Oke to see what we can do but as far as I am concerned you have blown it.
How are you doing today, it's good news to announce that your namesake (Howard) was elected yesterday to be running this orphanage home, he is very smart, wise and intelligent, he has experience, he was once the accountant of the organization but he stepped down by himself to pursue his music career.
Howie is very honest in all he does, and that's why he is always the money manager at any place he is. Howie now runs this orphanage home I believe he has written to you, because we all asked him to write to you, please check your spam folder to see his message please don't punish this kids further, you where mad at me and lizzy, which we are not in charge of the Bitcoin number again, Howie will now handle everything.
Lizzy is so angry at herself, she blames herself for the recent high rate of deaths here within 3 days 615 kids have died and that's why we did the needful so you can help, she has arranged all her things to leave the orphanage home as she can't stop blaming herself, we have all pleaded with her to stay because she doesn't know anyone outside this walls but she insists.
Howie was infected by the polio spreading but with the help of the OVP injection Doc Tedy sent he is now feeling much stronger.
FROM HOWARD POLIO
Howie, I understand how angry you are, that a 15 year school girl was running an orphanage home, there was a debate here at the orphanage home yesterday, there was quarrel as all the kids where angry at Lizzy, because the deaths of these kids are on her head, she is the reason we haven't gotten your donation, good news is that Lizzy stepped down yesterday evening and I now run this organization, I hope you will be abit relieved.
AND FINALLY FROM ROB STRINGER AFTER I COMPLAINED ABOUT THE SHIT INSTRUMENTS HE WAS SENDING TO A ROCK BAND
Don't forget, the delivery of your rock band instruments is scheduled to be on the 9th August 2022. Instruments to be shipped;
Ocarina,Melodica,Fender Precision Bass,Microphone,Marimba,Tambourine,Snare drum,Trumpet,Glockenspiel,Double bass,Triangle,Lead guitar,Bass,Cello,Clarinet,Violin,Electric guitar,Acoustic guitar,Keyboards,Saxophone,Piano,Bass guitar,Drum Kit.
A total number of 27 rock band instruments were purchased to be delivered to you tomorrow, please endeavour to make your delivery fee of $2000 to get your package delivered tomorrow. Don't forget the payment receipt is very important as it is supposed to be printed and pasted on the package.
That's it, in a nutshell. Hope this makes some sort of sense. Now Howie is going to spend all the orphanage money on the kind offer from SONY MUSIC