Nigerian Clown School

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Myon359
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Nigerian Clown School

Post by Myon359 » Sun Nov 20, 2022 2:22 am

This is an interesting story and still developing. I will post updates as things move along.
One day I got this letter:
Hello friend,

I introduce myself as Barrister Jonas Okpaku, director of Nigeria Clown School.

We are Nigerian group focused on supporting clowns and circus performer,
about 50% of them are in great need of assistance, we need assistance so
urgently.

Our Clown School is accepting any form of payments, MG, bank donations from
international organizations, donors, and people who care about bringing joy to
world. Preferably donations are $500 USD or greater

Raised money will be used to provide humanitarian aid to the Clowns of Nigeria.

Together, we can support clowns in Nigeria and circuses worldwide.
Write me back if you feel to donate.

Thanks & Best regards.
Director: Barrister Jonas Okpaku.
Nigeria Clown School
E-mail: barristerjonas2@gmail
I replied:
Dear Barrister Sir:

I got your letter and thanks for it. I sympathize with your situation, but I'm afraid it is not in my ability to donate currently, I lost money last month to some unscrupulous businessmen and am trying to preserve the last of my finances.

In any case, I can refer you to a philanthropic group I know who'd more than willingly donate to you. They just sent $250,000 USD to somebody in Kenya or someplace like that last month. If you're interested, do reply back to me. Have a beautiful day.

Alex
Dear Sir,

Thank you for your reply, and for taking pains to put smiles on the faces of the underprivileged.

80% of the masses are wallowing in abject poverty without any assistance in Nigeria . Many of our youths who can’t absorb the hardship are resorting to crimes The idea for the clown school is all about getting the youths engaged meaningfully so they can be gainfully self employed and hold on to something to follow up their life dreams. Right now the school and about about 50% of the students are in great need of assistance. I will appreciate any available support I can get for provision of enabling environment and average welfare to students and humanitarian aid to the Nigeria clown community.

(I don't know where he got all that gobbledygook. I sure as heck didn't teach it to him.)

Thanks & Best regards.
Director: Barrister Okey.
Nigeria Clown School.
Thanks for your response son. Would you like to be put in contact with the people I mentioned in my previous letter? They will be more than able to assist you.

Alex
The reply-to is going to an email pretending to belong to CitiBank. I do wonder if Okey is trying to pull a fast one on Emmanuel. If so, it is only a matter of seeing who will get their payout from the clients first.
Last edited by Myon359 on Mon Dec 12, 2022 7:39 pm, edited 2 times in total.
⛪ :1 All of My neighbors are laughing at me because of what happen the monument of faith - Abimbola on the pyramid he built

Hope you’ve buried your father and mother Please incinerate them And use the remains to drink vodka It works for good English - Miss Aliyah

This is really bad. I think poor broke gods time is gonna die out side - Godstime's Review of Lagos Safari

🐖:114

🤠Abimbola: Owerri -> Lagos -> Awka. Spent Xmas in Awka hotel parking lot.
🤠Team Ayo (w/ Cubanskies, Miss Orchid): Lagos -> Korup, Cameroon
🤠🤠Team Godstime: Ekpoma -> Abuja -> Warri; Ekpoma -> Lagos -> Ibadan

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Myon359
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Original Eater Join Date: 06 Jul 2022

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Post by Myon359 » Mon Nov 21, 2022 3:57 am

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Last edited by Myon359 on Mon Dec 12, 2022 7:39 pm, edited 2 times in total.
⛪ :1 All of My neighbors are laughing at me because of what happen the monument of faith - Abimbola on the pyramid he built

Hope you’ve buried your father and mother Please incinerate them And use the remains to drink vodka It works for good English - Miss Aliyah

This is really bad. I think poor broke gods time is gonna die out side - Godstime's Review of Lagos Safari

🐖:114

🤠Abimbola: Owerri -> Lagos -> Awka. Spent Xmas in Awka hotel parking lot.
🤠Team Ayo (w/ Cubanskies, Miss Orchid): Lagos -> Korup, Cameroon
🤠🤠Team Godstime: Ekpoma -> Abuja -> Warri; Ekpoma -> Lagos -> Ibadan

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Myon359
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Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2022 7:01 pm
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Original Eater Join Date: 06 Jul 2022

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Myon359
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Original Eater Join Date: 06 Jul 2022

Re: Nigerian Clown School

Post by Myon359 » Wed Nov 23, 2022 7:19 pm

Okey wants to talk with the church!
Good morning Sir,

Yes sir, I will like to be put in contact with the people you mentioned in your previous letter.
Thank you sir. The men I mentioned are churchmen and they are of the Church----------------. Here is the email address of the head reverand, Father Bartholomew Lockheed:

lockheed@----------------------------

I urge you to make yourself acquainted with him and his brethren. I am sure he will provide the donations you need, I hear they will be giving away $250,000USD

Alex
Good evening Sir,

Thank you very much for your selfless effort. I received the mail you sent in good condition. I will contact the reverend Father immediately as you instructed, and will always update you.
Last edited by Myon359 on Mon Dec 12, 2022 7:41 pm, edited 2 times in total.
⛪ :1 All of My neighbors are laughing at me because of what happen the monument of faith - Abimbola on the pyramid he built

Hope you’ve buried your father and mother Please incinerate them And use the remains to drink vodka It works for good English - Miss Aliyah

This is really bad. I think poor broke gods time is gonna die out side - Godstime's Review of Lagos Safari

🐖:114

🤠Abimbola: Owerri -> Lagos -> Awka. Spent Xmas in Awka hotel parking lot.
🤠Team Ayo (w/ Cubanskies, Miss Orchid): Lagos -> Korup, Cameroon
🤠🤠Team Godstime: Ekpoma -> Abuja -> Warri; Ekpoma -> Lagos -> Ibadan

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Myon359
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Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2022 7:01 pm
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Original Eater Join Date: 06 Jul 2022

Re: Nigerian Clown School

Post by Myon359 » Fri Nov 25, 2022 6:29 pm

Not much happened for a while. Then on November 23rd, Okey finally emailed the church that Alex had requested.

First Email from Jonas to the Church:
Hello Sir,

I introduce myself as Barrister Okey, director of Nigeria Clown School.

We are Nigerian group focused on supporting clowns and circus performer,
about 50% of them are in great need of assistance, we need assistance so
urgently.

Our Clown School is accepting any form of payments, MG, bank donations from
international organizations, donors, and people who care about bringing joy to
world.

Raised money will be used to provide humanitarian aid to the Clowns of Nigeria.

Together, we can support clowns in Nigeria and circuses worldwide.
Write me back if you feel to donate.

Thanks & Best regards.
Director: Barrister Okey.
Nigeria Clown School
I replied with my standard church mail:
Be blessed, my son!

I am Father Bartholomew and I work for The Lord as Reverend of the Sacred Church, God bless Him!

{lot of background stuff here...boring}

We are pleased to offer you help and we have regular actions in this regard. I will propose to discuss your request at this week's Saturday service, after the sermon. Please send me some details about your activity, how many clowns are there with you, what staff you have, etc. I also noticed that the Clown School you run is in Nigeria which is really interesting considering we are investing our time in West Africa. I will propose a sponsorship for your clown school to the board of elders.

I am waiting for your message with all the required details.
Be blessed, in the sacred name of our Holy Lamb!

Father Bartholomew Lockheed
Okey is world's biggest sucker. He replies:
Dear Rev. Father Bartholomew Lockheed,

Thank you father for your reply, and for your honoring my mail.
I am a lawyer but I have stoped practicing, now I am into real estate business.

I ventured into Clown and Circus industry purely on humanitarian ground, although naturally I have a flair for it. (yes Okey, you are a natural clown)

Our main aim is to aid and assist young people who are into Clown and Circus performance to survive the harsh economic conditions while they are pursuing their different academic careers as some of them later in their future do become, actors, medical doctors, engineers, etc in their different field of endeavors.

Moreover, we are trying to promote Nigeria Clown industry which has very rich cultural heritage and uniqueness to the rest of the world.

And also, my group are focusing on supporting Clown and Circus performers who are in dear need of support. About 50% of them are in great need of assistance and needed it so urgently.

Nigeria clown school is being run in my house, in a portion of an apartment I am occupying. We are in need of a bigger place that can accommodate children who are questing to join Clown and Circus performance to support their selves, and also to create a better accommodation and enabling environment to performers.

In addition we need as many Clown materials we can be able to get to meet the need of performers as that is the main needs in Clown performance. We are basically doing this to improve the lives of the youths wand children who are mostly from very poor backgrounds.

I am a Christian and member of Catholic Men Organization,(CMO). Attached is my CMO induction certificate and Identification Card by the Archdiocese of Lagos.

In the Facebook link / site, we also display some of our Clown activities and events.
=====deleted======

We so much appreciate this opportunity given to us by you and the Sacred Church of the Holy Lamb, and we pray that the Holy Lamb will continue to be your strength.
Amen.

Thanks & Best regards,
Director: Barrister Okey.
Nigeria Clown School.
This was attached:

Image
Image

The Facebook page is worth a visit! I'm not sure exactly what we can do about it, but it certainly shows he is fully dedicated to his clown story! :lol: :lol: :lol: For security reasons, please PM if you want the link

I replied:
God bless you, my son!

Your request for sponsorship was discussed today within our Elders Committee and will be reviewed in the coming days. Depending on the results of these discussions, we will decide if the clown school you run qualifies for the next stage of our charitable actions.

If we decide that the next charity fund will be dedicated to this humanitarian case, our Reverend Kenneth Ukulele (the secretary of the parish) will handle all the organizational details. We will discuss all these issues in the coming days.

Reverend Kenneth Ukulele will analyze the case very carefully and directly deal with the monetary assistance of your clown school along with shipping a Courtesy Parcel and the fundraising actions.

Be blessed, all of you, in the sacred name of our Holy Lamb!
Father Bartholomew Lockheed
Okey is overjoyed right now. He even wrote back to Alex:
Dear Sir,

How are you and your family Sir, I hope you are well by the grace of God.
I have contacted the Rev Father and he even sent a mail to me this morning. He said that my application is under review by the church group responsible and will give me feedback.
I will keep you updated.

In the Facebook link / site, I display some pictures of our activities and events.
=====delete====

I so much appreciate your selfless service you are rendering to me, to a total stranger. May the Almighty continue to enrich your coast, Amen.

Thanks & Best regards,
Director: Barrister Okey.
Nigeria Clown School.
Alex:

Hello there Jonas:

I'm doing quite well thank you very much. I celebrated Thanksgiving yesterday with the traditional American dinner of steak and apples.
Do keep me updated, and I'm so glad I was able to help you out. Thank you very much sir, may you and your family have
interesting lives!

Alex
Last edited by Myon359 on Mon Dec 12, 2022 7:41 pm, edited 2 times in total.
⛪ :1 All of My neighbors are laughing at me because of what happen the monument of faith - Abimbola on the pyramid he built

Hope you’ve buried your father and mother Please incinerate them And use the remains to drink vodka It works for good English - Miss Aliyah

This is really bad. I think poor broke gods time is gonna die out side - Godstime's Review of Lagos Safari

🐖:114

🤠Abimbola: Owerri -> Lagos -> Awka. Spent Xmas in Awka hotel parking lot.
🤠Team Ayo (w/ Cubanskies, Miss Orchid): Lagos -> Korup, Cameroon
🤠🤠Team Godstime: Ekpoma -> Abuja -> Warri; Ekpoma -> Lagos -> Ibadan

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A.N.Otherbaiter
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Posts: 29
Joined: Mon Sep 05, 2022 9:18 am
Location: Baitington-on-sea
Original Eater Join Date: 05 Sep 2022

Re: Nigerian Clown School

Post by A.N.Otherbaiter » Sun Nov 27, 2022 5:14 am

My character just got the initial format. Which is amusing, considering that I hadn't asked for it. ;)
"E is mugu woman with filthy mouth but i wan her cash ok" - Special Agent Dr Ayo Kumuyi PHD, Interpol Headquarter, Nigeria (about me, to his boss)
"You are not a serious human , i did not know UK have such people, like you." - Regional Manager, First Bank of New York
"Your message alarm wake me up, this is 2:18 AM and there is no gift card attach! Fuck you and your mother!" - Apple iTunes Courier Company
"You are useless person, fuck your ass forever." - an estim attorney (sic)
:pig2:x9

--
Random security tip: Don't routinely use your real name on the Internet.

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Myon359
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Posts: 495
Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2022 7:01 pm
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Original Eater Join Date: 06 Jul 2022

Re: Nigerian Clown School

Post by Myon359 » Sun Nov 27, 2022 5:29 am

I'll PM you my email and maybe we can share notes. Sound good to you?
Last edited by Myon359 on Mon Dec 12, 2022 7:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
⛪ :1 All of My neighbors are laughing at me because of what happen the monument of faith - Abimbola on the pyramid he built

Hope you’ve buried your father and mother Please incinerate them And use the remains to drink vodka It works for good English - Miss Aliyah

This is really bad. I think poor broke gods time is gonna die out side - Godstime's Review of Lagos Safari

🐖:114

🤠Abimbola: Owerri -> Lagos -> Awka. Spent Xmas in Awka hotel parking lot.
🤠Team Ayo (w/ Cubanskies, Miss Orchid): Lagos -> Korup, Cameroon
🤠🤠Team Godstime: Ekpoma -> Abuja -> Warri; Ekpoma -> Lagos -> Ibadan

User avatar
A.N.Otherbaiter
Not quite a Newb
Posts: 29
Joined: Mon Sep 05, 2022 9:18 am
Location: Baitington-on-sea
Original Eater Join Date: 05 Sep 2022

Re: Nigerian Clown School

Post by A.N.Otherbaiter » Sun Nov 27, 2022 1:56 pm

Myon359 wrote: Sun Nov 27, 2022 5:29 am I'll PM you my scammer boss email and maybe we can share notes. Sound good to you?
OK! I seem to have stumbled into my first co-op bait, and it should be a good one :)
"E is mugu woman with filthy mouth but i wan her cash ok" - Special Agent Dr Ayo Kumuyi PHD, Interpol Headquarter, Nigeria (about me, to his boss)
"You are not a serious human , i did not know UK have such people, like you." - Regional Manager, First Bank of New York
"Your message alarm wake me up, this is 2:18 AM and there is no gift card attach! Fuck you and your mother!" - Apple iTunes Courier Company
"You are useless person, fuck your ass forever." - an estim attorney (sic)
:pig2:x9

--
Random security tip: Don't routinely use your real name on the Internet.

User avatar
Myon359
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Posts: 495
Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2022 7:01 pm
Location: Ŭ̸͇n̶͕̕di̸̘͝s̷͙̈́c̸̻̋ḷ̶̓ŏ̷͈s̷͙̈́ḛ̷́d
Original Eater Join Date: 06 Jul 2022

Re: Nigerian Clown School

Post by Myon359 » Mon Nov 28, 2022 1:16 am

Haven't update in quite awhile because of some minor disruptions and Thanksgiving. Ok, where were we?

First and foremost, I'd like to welcome A.N.Otherbaiter to the party, playing an American mugu. Congrats on being the first member of Team Okey!

Okey to Lockheed:
Good morning Father Bartholomew Lockheed,

Thank you very much father for your reply. May the good Lord continue
to strengthen your ministry and may your efforts in cleaning the tears
of people in need never go unrewarded.
Your messages are well understood as we wait for the review by
Reverend Kenneth Ukulele (the secretary of the parish) who will handle
all the organizational details.

Generous persons will prosper; those who refresh others will
themselves be refreshed. Proverb 11:25.

Thanks & Best regards,
Director: Barrister Okey.
Nigeria Clown School.
Don't you hate it when these creepy-crawlies get religion?

Lockheed:

Son,

I am pleased to congratulate you on your admission among the members of the Holy Lamb church and let me hope that your ascension will be in line with our expectations. Son, my old friend Ukulele spoke to me about you in laudatory terms and made me believe that maybe you are the providential man the Holy Lamb church needs to donate to now in Africa.

Reverend Ukulele will begin with you the process of completing the official donation to your Clown School. He will email you tonight, from the email address of (nothing for you!!!). May the Light of Truth accompany
you in the Trial of Faith and may the people around you be with you on the Path of your Renaissance as a holy man. I'm proud of you!

Hallelujah, amen!
Glory to the Holy Lamb!
Father Bartholomew Lockheed
I love baiting this clown (no pun intended). He reads my mail and answers properly:
Good evening Father,

Thank you for your mail, and must admit that I am overwhelmed with the wonderful news you passed across to me today.
Oh! give thanks to the LORD, for He is good, for His steadfast love endures forever. Let the redeemed of the LORD say so, whom he has redeemed from trouble and gathered in from the lands, from the east and from the west, from the north and from the south. Psalm 107: 1-3.

I pray for Gods guidance and divine direction for this great opportunity being given to me achieve the purpose for which it is meant for.

My prayer remains that Yahweh will make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work, Amen.

Thank you Father, and I will be expecting a mail from your associate priest.

May his love abound forevermore.

Thanks & Best regards,
First Letter From Ukulele:
Dear Brother Okey:

Thank you for your letter which is very kindly received. I am Reverend Ukulele, secretary of the Church. I assume that you have already spoken with Father Lockheed.

The first step of accepting the sponsorship of our church is the 'Proof of Faith' picture. All our receivers make them and the pictures of those we assist will be displayed on the wall of our church hall for some time, so all parishioners can be made aware where their tithes go.

I have attached a document that you will need to print. Hold it in front of your chest, and have someone make a picture of you in bright daylight so you will be completely visible and please send that back to me. Please note that the picture should be made outside.
After this we can work on the process of sending the funding and electronics to you to support this clown school. I must admit when I first heard of it, I had never heard of anything like it before and decided you must be a man of genius. Thanks for your understanding.

Blessings:
Rev. Ukulele
John 3:16
Dear Reverend Kenneth Ukulele,

Thank you for your mail Reverend. I can’t thank you enough for being there in my time of need. You have no idea how much your help means to me. For all the things you, Rev. Father Bartholomew and the entire members of the church who are behind this humanitarian outreach, I want to say thank you.

Your mail is understood and the attached picture you sent received. I will print it out by tomorrow, take picture with it and send it back to you tomorrow or next for the ‘ Proof of Faith' picture.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. Ephesians 1:3.

Thanks & Best regards,
Director: Barrister Okey Okpaku.
Nigeria Clown School
We'll see if he sends photoshop or an actual trophy pic. I'm betting photoshop, but we never know...

Alex, the original client, got an earful of flattery as well. It is almost as if Alex is the new Emmanuel. After all, Okey barely speaks to the boss man anymore :cry: :
Good evening Sir,

Happy Sunday sir and how is your family, I hope you are alright.

I am still discussing with Father Bartholomew and the Holy Lamb family. And they have promised to donate on my project, Hallelujah! They sent a picture of Holy Lamb emblem which I will printout and take picture with tomorrow, and sent back to them. I will do that and send the picture to them next tomorrow.

Thank you so much sir. Without you this couldn’t have been possible. I will be giving you step by step update with holy land church.

Thank you sir and may God Bless you.
Last edited by Myon359 on Sat Dec 03, 2022 3:40 am, edited 1 time in total.
⛪ :1 All of My neighbors are laughing at me because of what happen the monument of faith - Abimbola on the pyramid he built

Hope you’ve buried your father and mother Please incinerate them And use the remains to drink vodka It works for good English - Miss Aliyah

This is really bad. I think poor broke gods time is gonna die out side - Godstime's Review of Lagos Safari

🐖:114

🤠Abimbola: Owerri -> Lagos -> Awka. Spent Xmas in Awka hotel parking lot.
🤠Team Ayo (w/ Cubanskies, Miss Orchid): Lagos -> Korup, Cameroon
🤠🤠Team Godstime: Ekpoma -> Abuja -> Warri; Ekpoma -> Lagos -> Ibadan

User avatar
Myon359
419 Eater is My Life
Posts: 495
Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2022 7:01 pm
Location: Ŭ̸͇n̶͕̕di̸̘͝s̷͙̈́c̸̻̋ḷ̶̓ŏ̷͈s̷͙̈́ḛ̷́d
Original Eater Join Date: 06 Jul 2022

Okey the Clown Joins the Church

Post by Myon359 » Tue Nov 29, 2022 10:43 pm

Alex is doing fine. He has become the new oga, in a really weird twist of fate. Okey is now throwing all his scamming powers at the church. And that is just how we want it.

Alex
Good evening Jonas! I'm really sorry I didn't reply to your email before, I have just returned from visiting my young nephews in the countryside.

It sounds like everything is progressing beautifully over there! If you've already gotten to the proof of faith pictures that's good, you must have really made an impact. I'm so glad I was able to help you out and all.

Continue to write and give me updating emails. If you ever need anything, remember Mr. Alex Gaarsland is there for you and yours.

Alex
Okey is even forwarding his private correspondence with the church to Alex. Why? I don't know. He has nothing to gain by talking with Alex and bringing him into a close friendship, but it's nice to get my own mails forwarded to me.

Anyhow, the lad sent in his image to Ukulele:

Nov. 28 -
Dear Reverend Kenneth Ukulele,

Thank you for your mail Reverend, and thank you for your good work. Attached is my photograph and the picture of the (Church).

May the Lord the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge, reward you fully, Amen.
Thanks & Best regards,
Barrister Okey.
Attached:

Image

Official Kitty La Gore verdict was - photoshopped! I asked him to try again:
Dear Brother Jonas,

Thank you for your mail, I have inspected your photograph before the $250,000.00 donation can be submitted.

It seems that you have misunderstood the instructions I gave to you. I shall explain again:

The condition of being awarded the cash amount is entirely dependent on you supplying a photograph of yourself holding the printed image I sent you earlier. This means that you need to get the Church picture PRINTED OUT, and then have a photograph taken of yourself holding it.

I am afraid the image that you have sent this evening is unacceptable, as you have just copied and pasted the text and picture over the top of another picture (technically called a composite image). This is not the same as printing out the image and having yourself photographed holding it. However, I believe in your endeavour and therefore am giving you another chance.

Please note that until we receive the image in the manner we described then we cannot release the funds.

Be blessed
Rev. Ukulele
John 3:16
I expected to get a whine or argument sent to my priest character, especially since Okey sent this to Alex:
Good morning Sir,

Here is the mail Rev. Ukulele sent to me this morning.

{Ukulele's mail attached}

Please help me and solve this puzzle.
He said that I should take a picture with the document he sent and sent to him. But he came back this morning saying that I should print the Church of and take a picture with it.
Please I need your guidance in this matter.

Note that this donation is for both you and I.

Thanks,
Okey.
I failed to answer (busy life). And it may have been for the best because to my shock, Okey complied without struggle:

Nov.29 in the morning:
Dear Reverend Kenneth Ukulele,

Thank you very much for your mail Sir. I sincerely apologize for the blunt mage of ‘ GLORY TO THE HOLY LAMB AND THE IMAGE’ which I sent. That is entirely a printing fault. Please accept my apology.

I went to a better printing machine today to print a better one. I apologize for every inconvenience this could have caused you.

Thank you and God bless,
Barrister Okey.
Attached:

Image

Welcome to the fold Barrister Okey! We hope you enjoy your exciting stay :lol: :twisted: :lol:
Last edited by Myon359 on Mon Dec 12, 2022 7:42 pm, edited 2 times in total.
⛪ :1 All of My neighbors are laughing at me because of what happen the monument of faith - Abimbola on the pyramid he built

Hope you’ve buried your father and mother Please incinerate them And use the remains to drink vodka It works for good English - Miss Aliyah

This is really bad. I think poor broke gods time is gonna die out side - Godstime's Review of Lagos Safari

🐖:114

🤠Abimbola: Owerri -> Lagos -> Awka. Spent Xmas in Awka hotel parking lot.
🤠Team Ayo (w/ Cubanskies, Miss Orchid): Lagos -> Korup, Cameroon
🤠🤠Team Godstime: Ekpoma -> Abuja -> Warri; Ekpoma -> Lagos -> Ibadan

User avatar
A.N.Otherbaiter
Not quite a Newb
Posts: 29
Joined: Mon Sep 05, 2022 9:18 am
Location: Baitington-on-sea
Original Eater Join Date: 05 Sep 2022

Re: Nigerian Clown School

Post by A.N.Otherbaiter » Thu Dec 01, 2022 5:57 pm

So, I'm actually playing a wealthy philanthropist from Essex. I think he's leading me on as a secondary backup mugu in case his primary mark doesn't work out. Here's the story so far. After the initial format (I have edited my character's name because I don't want it googleable), I sent:
Karen wrote:Hi there hello, I am a philanthropist from Essex, England, and your email intrigues me. What kind of help do you need?

--
Karen
This message was sent from my desktop, please excuse my brevity.
The signature is something I set on this mailbox as a joke. I won't repeat it in future quotes, but be rest assured that it's there in every email I send, and I hope it gives you as much of a giggle as it gives me.
Scammer wrote:Dear friend,


Thank you for honoring my mail.

I am a lawyer but I have stoped practicing, now I am into real estate management.

I ventured into Clown and Circus industry purely on humanitarian ground, although naturally I have a flair for it.
Our main aim is to aid and assist young people who are into Clown and Circus performance to survive the harsh economic conditions while they are pursuing their different academic careers as some of them later in their future do become actors, medical doctors, engineers, etc in their different field of endeavors.

Moreover, we are trying to promote Nigeria Clown industry which has very rich cultural heritage and unique local background to the rest of the world.

And also, my group are focusing on supporting Clown and Circus performers who are in dear need of support. About 50% of them are in great need of assistance and needed it so urgently.

Nigeria clown school is being run in my house, in a portion of an apartment I am occupying. We are in need of a bigger place that can accommodate children who are questing to join Clown and Circus performance to support their selves, and also to create a better accommodation and enabling environment to performers.

In addition we need as many Clown materials we can be able to get to meet the need of performers as that is the main needs in Clown performance. We are basically doing this to improve the lives of the youths and children who are mostly from very poor backgrounds.

In the Facebook link / site, we also display some of our Clown activities and events.
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100087758516254

I so much appreciate this opportunity given to me by you and pray that the Lord will continue to bless the hand that giveth, Amen.

Thanks & Best regards,
Director: Barrister Jonas Okpaku.
Nigeria Clown School.
E-mail: [email protected].
So far, he's merely following the script to the letter. Here's my reply:
Karen wrote:My organisation would be happy to support the Nigeria Clown School humanitarian project with a donation.

All we would ask for in return is a few simple photographs showing the good work you are doing before and after receiving the donation, so we can satisfy our shareholders.

As you no longer practice law, we would also need to speak to a barrister or lawyer who would act on your behalf.

If these two conditions are acceptable, we should be able to have your barrister arrange for the needful papers in much less than a week and have the donation finalised within days.
I *thought* that the requirement to speak to a lawyer would get him back in contact with Emmanuel, but no such luck.
Scammer wrote: Dear Karen Coch,

Thank you very much for your last letter, and thank you for sparing your time and effort in assisting a stranger. I apologize for my late reply, I was trying to arrange with a lawyer who can stand on my behalf.

With a fair support support from your organization, we will not only concentrate on Clown performers , we will add it up with skill acquisition center, where Fashion design, Catering and other Home economic services will be thought . We want to use this avenues to support and empower teenagers and the youths especially the underprivileged.

Our main focus is basically rendering support to underprivileged children in any capacity we can be able to, not only in our school but in other schools around our community. We does our best to put smiles on people's face because poverty is very much here.
Attached is our Clown school and what it currently looks like.

I am a member of Christian Men Organization of Nigeria. Attached is my CMO Identity card and my induction certificate.

Here is the lawyers email address and his telephone number:
E-mail: [email protected]
Tel: 07033080710.

You have no idea how much your assistance means to me. For all your effort behind this humanitarian outreach , I want to say thank you.

Thanks and my best regards,
Jonas.
Karen wrote:Thank you for your email. It sounds like you are making a valuable difference to the children's lives, and The Coch Foundation would be happy to support your efforts with a sizeable donation.

The next thing I will need from you is a proposal, which lists everything you will need to build the skill acquisition center, and the costs involved. You can list the costs in Naira, Dollars, Euros, Pounds, or any other currency that is convenient, and they don't need to be exact. Your lawyer should be able to help you create the proposal.

If our shareholders agree with your proposal, we will draw up a contract that you will need to sign, and then we will make the donation. I will stay in contact with you through the whole progress.
Scammer wrote:Good evening Karen Coch,

I am so honored going through the message you sent.

Your messages are very uplifting that I shed tears of joy after going through it. I definitely understood that I did not earn this honor by my power but by the power of God who makes every impossibility possible. And I pray for His sufficient grace to carry me through in this task because to whom much is given, much is expected.

I have contacted the lawyer with the proposal requirements which he is already preparing and he will get back to you in a short while.

Your explanations are well understood, and I pray for Gods grace to carry us through in this trial of faith, and make our ascension to be inline with your expectations, and also make everything to work together for good.

Thanks and best regards,
Jonas.
Karen wrote:Thank you for your prompt response. I look forward to reading your proposal.
Does anyone want to speculate how much time he's going to waste on this proposal? Or am I simply going to get a crudely photoshopped Google Image Search result for proposal.jpg?
"E is mugu woman with filthy mouth but i wan her cash ok" - Special Agent Dr Ayo Kumuyi PHD, Interpol Headquarter, Nigeria (about me, to his boss)
"You are not a serious human , i did not know UK have such people, like you." - Regional Manager, First Bank of New York
"Your message alarm wake me up, this is 2:18 AM and there is no gift card attach! Fuck you and your mother!" - Apple iTunes Courier Company
"You are useless person, fuck your ass forever." - an estim attorney (sic)
:pig2:x9

--
Random security tip: Don't routinely use your real name on the Internet.

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Myon359
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Original Eater Join Date: 06 Jul 2022

Re: Nigerian Clown School

Post by Myon359 » Fri Dec 02, 2022 2:18 am

I'd say you'll get an RSOT in one or two days. That is how it usually goes with requesting official docs from lads.

Anyhow, Okey is on Cloud Nine after seeing how simple it is to rob the church:


From Okey to Alex, on November 30th:
Good morning Sir,

I am so delighted to see your mail this morning. I hope you have a blissful night rest with your family, thanks be to God for his love and mercy upon us. You have no idea how much your assistance means to me. For all the things you and the entire members of the Church who are behind this humanitarian outreach has done for me in propagating my dreams and aspirations, I want to say thank you.

With this magnanimous support, I will not only concentrate on Clown performers , I will build a skill acquisition school where Fashion, Home economic and Clown performance will be thought. We will use this avenue to support and empower the youths especially the underprivileged.
My wife who is running a Fashion shop, has NCE Certificate in Hone Economics in Adeniran Ogunsanya University of Education Ijanikin, Lagos. She will be of good help in managerial aspects.

Our main focus will be supporting underprivileged children with scholarships not only in our school but in other schools around our community. We will do all we can to put smiles on people's face because poverty is very much here.

I will adore all my offices and my home with iGLORY TO THE HOLY LAMB pictures in enlargements. If you know where you come from, then you will know exactly where you are going.

Attached is the picture, clipped beside the SACRED HEART OF JESUS Alter in our sitting room.

Thanks and my best regards to your family.
Okey.
Image

I could barely believe it, but it wasn't photoshopped!

P.S - I tried to snap and send where I use part of my place for school for now.


Attached were some photos Okey took of his area around Lagos. They appear to have been taken at the school and playground, and show children of the town. The pictures make one really sympathise with the kids and make you upset that Okey is using them as "Give me Money" props. They are not included.

Alex, feeling honoured:
Mr Okey, this is amazing devotion! I really am happily surprised you're taking this so seriously. I suggest you forward those emails to the church people, they'll certainly be impressed.

You're welcome. I never thought I'd have this much of a result other than helping some nice people, but you know what the Good Book says., what you measure out for others shall be returned to you.

If you'd like to become a full member of the Holy Lamb Church do tell me. I'll be happy to put in a good word for you with the Reverand. Remain blessed, along with your delightful family!

Alex
Dec. 1: This afternoon, Okey to Alex:
Good evening Sir,

I apologize for a little delay. I did what you instructed me to do by forwarding the mails I sent to you to Reverend Kenneth Ukulele yesterday and the Rev. Fr. confirmed seeing it. The two Reverend also confirmed your ardent support and commendation of me. In fact the way everything is happening is practically not by my power but is prearranged by God to use you as an instrument of good work. I will build a very big Skill acquisition center, together with a Clown school where lives will be touched. For whom much is given, much is expected.

Only my prayers remains that this dreams becomes a reality. I will never thank you enough for your good work.

My best regards to you and your family,
Okey.

Alex to Okey:
Okey, this sounds amazing. Thank you for your compliments, but it was not me but God. That plan for the Skill acquisition center sounds great, with ideas like this no wonder everyone at the church is so in your favour. Keep updating me and working with the church people. This project is going swimmingly and it must be God who is doing it. Bless you and your family my friend!

Alex
It must be God who's doing it, no other reason why Okey would be playing along this well! :lol: :lol: :lol: This bait is going nearly script-perfect!

Meanwhile, Ukulele to Okey; Nov. 29th:
Dear Brother Okey,

Thank you for sending me the new picture and I an sorry if I appeared to falsely accuse you. I have sent your picture to the elders to analyze. Father Lockheed will let me know what he thinks about it and probably he'll speak to Brother Isaac, our finance officer as well, so I expect to give you a response later today about their decision. One of our parishioners, Mr. Alex G., has spoken in your favor and I know he speaks to father Lockheed a lot. With your kind heart and can-do attitude, it seems that you have made a good impression already.

Be blessed
Rev. Ukulele
John 3:16
Nov. 30th brings copypasta flattery from Okey. He repeats most of the Alex mail, but I just copy-and-paste from my mailbox:
Good evening Reverend Ukulele,

I am so delighted to see your mail this morning. I hope you have a blissful day, thanks be to God for his love and mercy upon us. You have no idea how much your assistance means to me. For all the things you and the entire members of the Church who are behind this humanitarian outreach has done for me in propagating my dreams and aspirations, I want to say thank you.

With this magnanimous support, I will not only concentrate on Clown performers , I will build a skill acquisition school where Fashion, Home economic and Clown performance will be thought. We will use this avenue to support and empower the youths especially the underprivileged.
My wife who is running a Fashion shop, has NCE Certificate in Home Economics in Adeniran Ogunsanya University of Education Ijanikin, Lagos. She will be of good help in managerial aspects.

Our main focus will be supporting underprivileged children with scholarships not only in our school but in other schools around our community. We will do all we can to put smiles on people's face because poverty is very much here.

I will adore all my offices and my home with iGLORY TO THE HOLY LAMB pictures in enlargements. If you know where you come from, then you will know exactly where you are going.

Attached is the picture of the HOLY LAMB, clipped beside the SACRED HEART OF JESUS Alter in my sitting room.

Thanks and my best regards,
Okey.
Further good news on Nov.31 from Fr. Lockheed:
Son,

I am pleased to congratulate you on your admission among the members of the church and let me hope that your ascension will be in line with our expectations. Son, both my old friend Alex and our membership director Ukulele spoke to me about you in laudatory terms and made me believe that maybe you are the providential man the church needs now in Africa. I've seen your pictures, both those of your area, your proof of faith photo, and what you did with the paper we provided you with. I am very impressed with your work and that you are taking care of our symbol. That is truly admirable.

Tomorrow, Reverend Ukulele will begin with you the process of completing the official recognition of your Clown School and arraigning the donations. May the Light of Truth accompany you in the Trial of Faith and may the people around you be with you. I'm proud of you and your family!

Hallelujah, amen!
Glory to the Holy Lamb!
Father Bartholomew Lockheed
And more from Ukulele:
Dear Brother Okey:

Let me officially welcome you as a new member of our great church. I have presented your form and picture to the elders and they have unanimously voted in your favor and allow you to start the process of receiving donations of up to $250,000. I am amazed with your wholehearted devotion to this cause. It is so joyful to see such zeal. Your faith looks amazing on you.

I will assuredly make all necessary arraignments for donations to be sent to you for the Clown School. Blessings on you, along with your wife and all the rest of your family!

Be blessed
Rev. Ukulele
John 3:16
We will now wait for Okey's letters of the 2nd of December and see where we take him.
⛪ :1 All of My neighbors are laughing at me because of what happen the monument of faith - Abimbola on the pyramid he built

Hope you’ve buried your father and mother Please incinerate them And use the remains to drink vodka It works for good English - Miss Aliyah

This is really bad. I think poor broke gods time is gonna die out side - Godstime's Review of Lagos Safari

🐖:114

🤠Abimbola: Owerri -> Lagos -> Awka. Spent Xmas in Awka hotel parking lot.
🤠Team Ayo (w/ Cubanskies, Miss Orchid): Lagos -> Korup, Cameroon
🤠🤠Team Godstime: Ekpoma -> Abuja -> Warri; Ekpoma -> Lagos -> Ibadan

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Original Eater Join Date: 06 Jul 2022

Re: Nigerian Clown School

Post by Myon359 » Mon Dec 05, 2022 12:59 am

He's back! We had a brief scare due to evidence of another baiter toying Okey around, but he is still hooked.

Okey hadn't emailed Alex, or the Church for a long time, so I checked in:
Hello Barrister Okey:

I heard from the men at the church that you haven't emailed them since yesterday, I hope everything is going along alright with you. PErhaps there is a holiday over there that I am ignorant of that is keeping you. Anyhow, please do write back to them soon.

By the way, it might be a good idea to put your Holy Lamb pics on your Facebook page to show your allegiance with our church.

Have a wonderful day with your wife and family.

Alex
Good evening Alex,

How are you and your family, I hope you are alright. I don’t know if you received the mail I sent to you yesterday. And I have not heard from the Reverend either. Please get back to me if you receive my mail.

Regards,
Okey.
Good evening Okey. I did receive your mail and replied. Plus I checked out the Facebook page and am glad to see you uploaded that image. The church has been emailing you, but they said they haven't heard back. Apparently, some communication error has occurred. Please try and check your spam folder or the promotions tab in your gmail, maybe their letters went there.

I hope everything is going all right with you and that you receive this mail in good condition. Please write back if you do get this mail and have a great day with your family.

Alex
Dec. 4 - Finally!
Good evening Alex, I hope you have a blissful Sunday with your family, thanks be to God.
Indeed you are my guardian angel. It never occurred to me to check my spam folder not until you suggested that. Reverend Kenneth has sent three mails to me already. I have just sent a mail to him now. I can never thank you enough.

BELLOW IS THE MAIL HE SENT TO ME
...............................................................

Dear Brother Okey:

Let me officially welcome you as a new member of our great church. I have presented your form and picture to the elders and they have unanimously voted in your favor and allow you to start the process of receiving donations of up to $250,000. I am amazed with your wholehearted devotion to this cause. It is so joyful to see such zeal. Your faith looks amazing on you.

I will assuredly make all necessary arraignments for donations to be sent to you for the Clown School. Blessings on you, along with your wife and all the rest of your family!

Be blessed
Rev. Ukulele
John 3:16

...............................................................................
Please Sir, always keep guiding and advising me on what to do next.
Thank you Sir, and may God continue to bless you and your family.
Okey.
Dear Alex,

Please Sir, I want to know the address of your parish, The Holy Lamb Church and where it is located.

Best regards,
Okey.
Good evening Mr Okey! I'm glad to hear that you were able to find the mails again. Hopefully everything will continue exactly as planned and you'll be able to get those donations. Thank you for the compliments in your mail, I really don't deserve them, it was God working out everything.

Thanks for your questions. The church address is (IMAGINARY) New York. We're next to a few other churches. The parish just opened in early 2022, in an older church building, so it is fairly new and may not appear on a map. The main parish is based in Canada somewheres, so I don't know the address for them. The church has a telephone number as well, if you need to make a call.

Please ask me anything else you need to inquire about and I'll be more than happy to answer you. Until tomorrow. I wish you and your entire family well!

Alex
He also got back to Ukulele:
Good evening Reverend,

I hope you have a blissful Sunday eve. I apologize for my delayed response. I have been checking your mail on my inbox, not knowing that your messages are in my spam folder as a result of poor internet here.

I went through your mail with tears of joy and can’t find the right word to express my gratitude and joy . The only thing that keep coming out of my mouth is ‘ To God be the Glory’.Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28. The Holy Lamb has done this and will take the glory forever.

I will be an ambassador of the Holy Lamb Church in Nigeria and in west Africa henceforth, and will help in propagating the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ under the umbrella of the Holy Lamb church. And I promise to use this donation for humanitarian basis of which it is meant for.

Thank you Reverend and thanks to Father Bartholomew Lockheed, and thanks to the entire members of The Holy Lamb of God committee who made this possible.

My best regards to the entire family of The Holy Lamb Church.
Okey.
Dear Brother Jonas:

Thank you so much for your mail and I am so pleased to hear from you, we were very concerned that something terrible had happened. God is good, it could only be he who put the thought in you to check the spam folder, I rarely examine it myself. Glory to the Holy Lamb!

I have given your contact details to the banker who controls the charity organisations in our town, Mr. Harry Potter. He should email you with details Monday morning. You will have this $250,000 USD with other equipment before Christmas and I am sure you will put it to good use!

Be blessed
Rev. Ukulele
John 3:16
Next chapter will be with Mr. Harry Potter...
⛪ :1 All of My neighbors are laughing at me because of what happen the monument of faith - Abimbola on the pyramid he built

Hope you’ve buried your father and mother Please incinerate them And use the remains to drink vodka It works for good English - Miss Aliyah

This is really bad. I think poor broke gods time is gonna die out side - Godstime's Review of Lagos Safari

🐖:114

🤠Abimbola: Owerri -> Lagos -> Awka. Spent Xmas in Awka hotel parking lot.
🤠Team Ayo (w/ Cubanskies, Miss Orchid): Lagos -> Korup, Cameroon
🤠🤠Team Godstime: Ekpoma -> Abuja -> Warri; Ekpoma -> Lagos -> Ibadan

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A.N.Otherbaiter
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Posts: 29
Joined: Mon Sep 05, 2022 9:18 am
Location: Baitington-on-sea
Original Eater Join Date: 05 Sep 2022

Re: Nigerian Clown School

Post by A.N.Otherbaiter » Wed Dec 07, 2022 11:59 am

My character just received a massive long proposal for how they want two million dollars for this fictional clown school. Wasted a heck of a lot of their time, and it sickens me that these scammers are acting like they're going to do some charity work when in fact we know all they are going to do is run off with the cash.
"E is mugu woman with filthy mouth but i wan her cash ok" - Special Agent Dr Ayo Kumuyi PHD, Interpol Headquarter, Nigeria (about me, to his boss)
"You are not a serious human , i did not know UK have such people, like you." - Regional Manager, First Bank of New York
"Your message alarm wake me up, this is 2:18 AM and there is no gift card attach! Fuck you and your mother!" - Apple iTunes Courier Company
"You are useless person, fuck your ass forever." - an estim attorney (sic)
:pig2:x9

--
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Myon359
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Original Eater Join Date: 06 Jul 2022

Re: Nigerian Clown School

Post by Myon359 » Fri Dec 09, 2022 1:20 am

I regret to say that this bait may be lost or at least very difficult to salvage. It started here:

Dec. 5th:

Okey wrote to Alex:
Good evening Alex,

Thank you so much for your mail, and thank you for the information you gave to me.
I am waiting for the banker Rev. Kenneth said will contact me.
Mr regards to you and your family.

Okey.
Alex:

I then contacted Okey as Mr. Potter. And this was where things began to spiral downwards:
Sir:

Hello there let me introduce myself to you. I am Mr. Henry F. Potter, and I run nearly everything in this town. No large amounts of money come or go without my permission. I run the Red Cross, I run the convent, and I even run the primary schools. And even though I'm not religious, I run the monies the churches here send. That's because I own the land the Church is built on. So anything you do goes through me.

This old monk Reverend Ukulele says you're building some sort of school, in Botswana or some place. Or maybe it was in Thailand, I don't remember. So here's what you'll do. I need some info from you first:

1. Complete description of what you are building or going to use this money for.


2. Your ID card, passport/driver's license


3. Full name, and address.



Then I'll work on getting the money to you. You can be assured that you will not be dismayed working with Potter and Co.

And by the way, if anyone calling themselves George Bailey emails you proposing a better way, tell me instantly. He's part of the discontented lazy rabble, not like us thrifty working class.

Sincerely:
Mr. Potter
I heard nothing from Okey for days. Finally, I got too anxious to wait for him to email somebody, anybody, and messaged him myself from Ukulele's address:
Dear Brother Okey:

Seasons greetings to you brother in Christ and blessings upon your family. I am writing in hopes that you have contacted the town banker Mr. Potter. I spoke to him today and he said he has not heard from you. Please reply to us or him soon. Thank you.

P.S. Please do tell me if any one else has contacted you about donations, we are much concerned about people impersonating legitimate donators and your absences worry me. Thank you.

Be blessed
Rev. Ukulele
John 3:16
Bad news. Okey replied:
Good morning Reverend Kenneth,

Thank you for your mail.

I received your mails but unfortunately I have not contacted the said Mr. Harry Potter, and I don't intend to. If really you want to send
any money to me, the church will do that directly without involving the third party. And I will send you my Bitcoin account where to send
the money. For the other packages I will only give you my house address where it should be delivered. Note that I am not going to pay
any upfront payment.

Thanks and God's bless.
Okey.
Alex got an earful of depressing news as well:
Good evening Alex,

I apologize for delayed reply, I am somehow busy.

Yes, I received a mail from so called Mr. Harry Potter, and honestly to me it was like a child’s play. I have no intention of replying such mail and secondly it kept me wondering if I am doing right.

I wrote to Rev. Kenneth this afternoon anyway, and he replied this evening.

Their is no need of wasting our times if this is not realistic, as I have wasted some of my time on this already, I have a lot of things to take care of.

Then came the really frightening part of his letter:

Another person is more than willing to donate to me and has given less trouble. They have told me that (the) church is fake and have showed me website articles about this.

Moreover, I will not make any upfront payment in whatever circumstances because I don’t even have money to spend.
This is just the situation and I look forward to your reply.

Regards,
Okey.
Note that whoever this person is has gotten into Okey's confidence and has even showed him articles about church. This is honestly a worst-case scenario.

Alex wrote back as stressfree as his creator could manage at the time:
Did that man ask you for money?! The nerve of him! He isn't supposed to ask you for money. What exactly did he send you? Forward it to me so that I can see what that guy was talking about.

Between you and me, Potter is one of the richest and meanest men in town. I'm not surprised that you felt disrespected by his letter, whatever it was he said. He has the idea that everyone is beneath him, a rather unpleasant character.

This is quite realistic, whoever showed you these articles is deceiving you. It would be cruel of me to send you to a madhouse when you came asking for help.

Is anyone else contacting you about donating? If so, please tell me about them, because there are a lot of desperate people at Christmas time who live to make misery off of others (like yourself Okey). Thank you for your mail and do reply back to me soon. Thank you.

Alex
He came back a little:
Good evening Alex,

Thank you for your mail. You sound so reassuring and that gives me the patience for more trial.
Bellow is the mail I received from the man they called Harry Potter. The name reminds me of Harry Potter magic movie we watched those days.
I don’t have anything to do with anyone, if it is real that the church is offering such donation, they will take care of sending the money to the recipient without a third party involvement. And that made me start seeing the whole scenario as fiction and imaginary story. I have wasted my time already on this and won’t want to continue if it is job because I don’t have a dime to send to anyone.

I have sent my picture and my information’s in most mail I sent to the church, which information are they requesting for again? The whole thing made me to be sick and tired, and I started seeing all this from another perspective.

BELLOW IS THE MAIL FROM MAGICIAN HARRY POTTER.

{he repeats the letter my banker sent him}

Thank you so much Alex and goodnight.
Okey.
This is why I almost never use any famous names in my baiting. There is too much of a chance of running across a well-read or well-travelled lad.

Alex:
That mail reads like something Potter would send. Especially the last line about rabble, which wasn't nice of him to include. He's a bit of a miser. It may be better if you don't deal with him, he seems to be setting you up for something.

About his name: yes, there are real life people named Harry Potter. And they get a lot of mockery for it and suspicious looks when asked their names. It's just about as bad as being named Adolf or Osama. I assure you that it is merely a coincidence that someone you encounter happens to be named like that. I'm really sorry that this has made you sick and tired. Please forgive me if I am in anyways to blame.

I have an idea that might be able to get you around the control Potter has over charities in this town and still get the monies you need. It may not work, but I'm sure that God will open a door for us. My regards to you and your family.

Alex
December 8th:

I may have managed to rehook him, but honestly, I think being baited by both of us has confused him. He seems all scrambled this morning.

Ukulele:
Dear Brother Okey:

Thank you for your mail I have discussed this matter over with my superior Lockheed and we have both come to the conclusion that for everyone's good and mental wellbeing we will avoid dealing with Potter. We will do this in another way.

As you are a lawyer, I am going to present this to you in legal terms. As I've explained before Potter runs all the 501-C3s and controls their donations to other 501-C3s. HOWEVER, he does not control individuals. Therefore, we can transfer the money to you by listing you as an individual, not a charity organisation. Potter would be unable to interfere and you would be dealing with the church only. We, a 501-C3 are unable to donate a sum above $1,000 to a single individual (we are donating $250,000USD to your clown school).

However, there is an easy way to avoid this: we will mark your money down as contest winnings from our yearly Christmas contest. This year, the contest is for best Santa costume.

The downside is that Potter and the government people may ask for proof you participated. We will have to think of some way to arrange this. The best part is that you will be going through the church only. Please reply back in the morning with your opinions and if you feel that this plan would work, do message me. Have a Merry Christmas with you family.

Be blessed
Rev. Ukulele
John 3:16
Now here he sounds all confused:
Good morning Rev.

Thank you for your mail. I have gone through your mail carefully but can’t fully understand it.
Their are churches in my environment and they don’t take permission from outsiders to decide what to do with their money. The banks has banking rules and regulations on financial matters globally, and so the bank authorities or managers do not need to know me before they transfer money from their customers account to me, all they will ask of is my bank account to do so.

Moreover you can’t even transfer such money directly to my account here in Nigeria due to laws and restrictions by Buhari government, or else they will cease it. If you want to send money to me I will give you account in United States where you can send the money since that is where you are located, and gradually I will be moving it in here as building of structures are ongoing.
And that is why I am directing the transfer to be done through online digital money like Bitcoin where the security on the money is 100% without any interference,m. Since I mentioned about Bitcoin, I have not heard anything from you. I can easily change it to cash here and use it in raising structures and buying of materials needed for the school.

Thank you so much and God bless.
Okey.
And to Alex:
Good afternoon Alex,

Thank you for your mail and thank you for all your sacrifice on this matter.
I have just replied to Rev. Kenneth. In the summary of the mail I sent to him. I let him to understand that if the church really want to send money to me, all they need is an account. The bank already has rules and regulations on transactions.
Moreover, I let him know that he can not sent the money directly to me in Nigeria because of the government laws on financial transactions. The Bitcoin is there which is very safe and security assured.
In fact I don’t understand what is going on.

Thank you and my regards to your family.
Okey.
Alex won't get back until later tonight, so Ukulele again:
Dear Brother Okey:

Thank you for your mail. Yes, please do provide us with the American account details. While Bitcoin would be easier, the church does not have a Bitcoin account, primarily for the reason that bitcoin is nearly untraceable and we must give an account of how we utilised fiances over the year.

It is only because of Potter that we are going through this confusion right now. He'll want to interfere, merely because that's the sort of man he is. It will be best for you to enter into our Christmas contest so that we can mark down the money to be transferred as contest winnings. Please do tell me if you wish to take this route and I will set everything up for you by the end of today. Thank you, may you have a good day with your family.

Be blessed
Rev. Ukulele
John 3:16
Hopefully the good cop/bad cop will make him realise that his only chance of getting cash without Potter in the way is to dress up as Santa.

Later: Yep, he got sorted out:
Good evening Rev.

Thank you for your mail.
I am open to any solution you may like to take Sir.
I will send the account anytime you are ready to send money.
Thank you very much Reverend and my regards to Father Lockheed.
Okey.
Time to get the Santa costume instructions out!
Dear Brother Okey:

Thanks for your mail. Let me explain how we will manage this. We will enter you in our yearly Christmas costume contest and you will obtain the moneys as "winnings" from the contest.

The contest this year is for best Santa costume. In order to satisfy Potter, we will need a photo of you dressed as Santa Claus per the contest rules. Without some proof of you actually being in the contest, he will give us all trouble. I'm including costume instructions in a text file attached to this email. As you manage the Nigerian Clown School, I'm sure it will be easy for you to find materials.

Do read over and think about this as it being something you can achieve. The deadline is by December 23rd. Please reply back to me with your plans. Thank you and have a blessed night with your family.

Be blessed
Rev. Ukulele
John 3:16
Attached were detailed costume instructions. We will see what occurs, and I will hold off further updates until Okey gives a positive or negative (shudders) sign. This will either be my greatest achievement or it will be an amazingly embarrassing bust.
⛪ :1 All of My neighbors are laughing at me because of what happen the monument of faith - Abimbola on the pyramid he built

Hope you’ve buried your father and mother Please incinerate them And use the remains to drink vodka It works for good English - Miss Aliyah

This is really bad. I think poor broke gods time is gonna die out side - Godstime's Review of Lagos Safari

🐖:114

🤠Abimbola: Owerri -> Lagos -> Awka. Spent Xmas in Awka hotel parking lot.
🤠Team Ayo (w/ Cubanskies, Miss Orchid): Lagos -> Korup, Cameroon
🤠🤠Team Godstime: Ekpoma -> Abuja -> Warri; Ekpoma -> Lagos -> Ibadan

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Re: Nigerian Clown School

Post by oscarpiles » Fri Dec 09, 2022 1:12 pm

Fingers crossed on this one!
DON'T BE A SQUARE DONATE

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Re: Nigerian Clown School

Post by Thursten3rd » Sun Dec 11, 2022 4:12 pm

Excellent work getting those trophies!

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A.N.Otherbaiter
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Re: Nigerian Clown School

Post by A.N.Otherbaiter » Tue Dec 13, 2022 4:33 pm

So, apparently I'm the main star of the bait right now, I've been asked to share my progress so far. I don't normally share my baits because I prefer to focus on annoying the scammers, but in this case, we all need to be working together, so...

Usual stuff applies, my character's name has been changed because I don't want it googleable, blah de blah, let's go.

I got the initial format (which was a surprise, since I hadn't asked for it), and introduced myself.
Me wrote:Hi there hello, I am a philanthropist from Essex, England, and your email intrigues me. What kind of help do you need?
I got the standard reply. So I said...
Me wrote:My organisation would be happy to support the Nigeria Clown School humanitarian project with a donation.

All we would ask for in return is a few simple photographs showing the good work you are doing before and after receiving the donation, so we can satisfy our shareholders.

As you no longer practice law, we would also need to speak to a barrister or lawyer who would act on your behalf.

If these two conditions are acceptable, we should be able to have your barrister arrange for the needful papers in much less than a week and have the donation finalised within days.
I was hoping to get the lad back in contact with Myon359 with this, but that didn't work out. Instead...
Scammer wrote:Thank you very much for your last letter, and thank you for sparing your time and effort in assisting a stranger. I apologize for my late reply, I was trying to arrange with a lawyer who can stand on my behalf.

With a fair support support from your organization, we will not only concentrate on Clown performers , we will add it up with skill acquisition center, where Fashion design, Catering and other Home economic services will be thought . We want to use this avenues to support and empower teenagers and the youths especially the underprivileged.

Our main focus is basically rendering support to underprivileged children in any capacity we can be able to, not only in our school but in other schools around our community. We does our best to put smiles on people's face because poverty is very much here.
Attached is our Clown school and what it currently looks like.

I am a member of Christian Men Organization of Nigeria. Attached is my CMO Identity card and my induction certificate.

Here is the lawyers email address and his telephone number:
<snip personal details of someone who, notably, isn't Myon359's character>

You have no idea how much your assistance means to me. For all your effort behind this humanitarian outreach , I want to say thank you.

Thanks and my best regards,
Jonas.
Never mind, let's press on, now we know for a fact he isn't a legitimate charity case but a scammer, let's give him some busy work.
Me wrote:Thank you for your email. It sounds like you are making a valuable difference to the children's lives, and The Koch Foundation would be happy to support your efforts with a sizeable donation.

The next thing I will need from you is a proposal, which lists everything you will need to build the skill acquisition center, and the costs involved. You can list the costs in Naira, Dollars, Euros, Pounds, or any other currency that is convenient, and they don't need to be exact. Your lawyer should be able to help you create the proposal.

If our shareholders agree with your proposal, we will draw up a contract that you will need to sign, and then we will make the donation. I will stay in contact with you through the whole progress.
Scammer wrote:I am so honored going through the message you sent.

Your messages are very uplifting that I shed tears of joy after going through it. I definitely understood that I did not earn this honor by my power but by the power of God who makes every impossibility possible. And I pray for His sufficient grace to carry me through in this task because to whom much is given, much is expected.

I have contacted the lawyer with the proposal requirements which he is already preparing and he will get back to you in a short while.

Your explanations are well understood, and I pray for Gods grace to carry us through in this trial of faith, and make our ascension to be inline with your expectations, and also make everything to work together for good.

Thanks and best regards,
Jonas.
Almost a week passed, and I got this masterpiece.
Scammer's Attorney wrote:I have been consulted by Barrister Jonas with relation to your on
going discussion with him and your willingness to assist indigent
children through School whom Barrister Jonas had been assisting to become useful citizens.

I have gone through your various mails with him and I write to pledge my legal support to the project and to ensure that everything is done within the ambit of the law of the Federal Republic of Nigeria and also ensure compliance, implementation judicious use of monies meant for the project as may come from your Foundation from time to time.

I had however expected that we receive a mail from you directly and addressed to us in this regard.



<snip contact details for a building that, according to Google Maps, doesn't exist>



I wish to encourage you in this endeavor as it would touch the lives
of so many under privileged children in Nigeria.

Thanks,
J.O.J. chukwuocha Esq.





PROPOSAL,

TO THE KOCH FOUNDATION..



It is our intention to now build a proper place of learning where we
can accommodate and have greater number of children and have a
convenient and comfortable environment for learning here in Nigeria.

To this extent, we are scheduling the cost implication of what it will
take which can however be approached in tranches, and/or commenced
from a small or medium scale and take it to a level of tertiary institution where both
underprivileged, less privileged and physically challenged can come
and receive formal education and artistic training to help them in the society.


The picture is therefore like as stated below.;

1) Acquisition of Land:

(a) Size of land: 1 hectare.
Justification:
This will be able to accommodate academic blocks (3 Numbers), A
hostel, An administrative Block, A play ground (Field), A theater and
a guest house.

(b)Prize of Land: About $300,000, including Documentation,
Government Approval and Certificate of Occupancy
and legal fees for documentation and Approval.


2) Building the Structures:

(a) Setting up of a perimeter fence, setting up of the building,
etc. About ($1,000,000) One million dollars.

3) Furniture & Equipments

(a) Learning Aids.
(b) Computers, Home Economics Equipments
(c) Clown materials, Seats, Tables, Forms, Televisions, Projectors.
(d) Air conditions etc.

Prize: $500,000

NOTE: We can start with whatever we can receive as grant from Koch Foundation.


4). Staff Salaries/Welfare for a start at least for 12 months.

Justification:

(a) Two Security men (at least)
(b) Two Cleaners (at least)
(c) Two Drivers (at least)
(d) One Admin officer/Secretary
(e) Seven Instructors/Teachers (at least)

At $150 per month each for 14 personnel's in 12 months is $25,200.

NOTE: Because the Institution is 75% humanitarian, we need to reserve
their salaries for this period believing that beyond this point, the
school should be able to pay Staff salaries generated from the 25% who are better
privileged to support the school.

5)Buses, Cars, Power generator, Transformer.

(a) 2 Buses @ $20,000
(b) 2 Cars @ $20,000
(c) 1 Lister Generator @ $10,000
(d) Solar Energy Alternative @ $10,000

Prize: $60,000

There is little or no power supply, and 24/7 hours light is required.

6) Ancilliary materials, Stationary etc. @ $15,000


Grand Total = $1,900,200 ( One million, nine hundred thousand, two
hundred dollars.


This budget is foreseeable and of course there will be lots of
unforeseen and unbudgeted expenses which is expected to arise as the
project goes on.


However, we expect that in the situation, that this budget is high as
we can see it is, we can divide this entire project into two halves, or
into 4, in quarters and take them up, and gradually realize them and complete the entire thing as we progress.


We appreciate your interest in this matter and pray that the Good LORD
will continue to use your Foundation to the aid of the less privileged.

Thanks so much.

From the best of
J.O.J. Chukwuocha & CO,
Barristers and Solicitors.

(Legal Attorneys to Barrister Jonas)
I decided to play the dollar signs and spin some bullshit about a flexibility fund to make them do some more maths.
Me wrote:Thank you for your proposal. Firstly, I believe in clear and efficient communication and not duplicating messages, which is why you did not receive a message directed solely at you. I apologise if I did not make sufficiently clear that all of my messages are directed at both of you. After all, we are all working towards the same aim.

It is considered usual in philanthropy to allocate an additional 10% flexibility fund to deal with unforeseeable expenses. I attach a final breakdown of the costs I shall present to the board of directors on Monday.

Initial capital costs $1'875'000
Flex $187'500

Ongoing costs $3'350 per month
Flex $335 per month

Optimistic impact 5000 persons
Optimistic cost per person $375.00 + $0.67 per month

Pessimistic impact 1000 persons
Pessimistic cost per person $2'062.50 + $3.68 per month


Please both confirm that this is accurate.
Scammer's Attorney wrote:Re: Final breakdown if Proposal

I act on behalf of Barrister Jonas and have his instructions to confirm as correct The final break down on proposal.

We accept it as our final proposal for presentation to your board.

Thanks so much for your continued patronage.

JOJ CHUKWUOCHA ESQ.
(Legal Attorneys to Barrister Jonas)


Cc to Barrister Jonas.
I left it a few days, and yesterday, I sent this short email
Me wrote:Dear both,

Committee met today.

Agreed with me that we can proceed to the next stage and make a formal application.

Details to follow shortly.
I got half a dozen frenzied emails in response, and left it until this morning, when I followed up with
Me wrote:Both,

There are two forms that need to be filled in. The application form gives us full details of where the grant should be paid to and the last documentation we need, and the other is the standard test of moral worth which you are expecting. Print both out, complete them, and return them quickly.

This is the penultimate step before the first payment, $1'875'000 USD, will be paid as you indicate on the form.

I look forward to a long and fruitful partnership.
...and I attached two forms, one is my own personal "application form" which ties the scammers down to one named individual who will be their money mule for the rest of the process (and requires lots of ID from that mule, just to make life harder), the other is the lovely "Universal Standardized Test of Moral Worth" PDF that I've had kicking around for a few years, and I wish I could credit its creator.

Now you're all up to date.
"E is mugu woman with filthy mouth but i wan her cash ok" - Special Agent Dr Ayo Kumuyi PHD, Interpol Headquarter, Nigeria (about me, to his boss)
"You are not a serious human , i did not know UK have such people, like you." - Regional Manager, First Bank of New York
"Your message alarm wake me up, this is 2:18 AM and there is no gift card attach! Fuck you and your mother!" - Apple iTunes Courier Company
"You are useless person, fuck your ass forever." - an estim attorney (sic)
:pig2:x9

--
Random security tip: Don't routinely use your real name on the Internet.

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