So, apparently I'm the main star of the bait right now, I've been asked to share my progress so far. I don't normally share my baits because I prefer to focus on annoying the scammers, but in this case, we all need to be working together, so...
Usual stuff applies, my character's name has been changed because I don't want it googleable, blah de blah, let's go.
I got the initial format (which was a surprise, since I hadn't asked for it), and introduced myself.
Me wrote:Hi there hello, I am a philanthropist from Essex, England, and your email intrigues me. What kind of help do you need?
I got the standard reply. So I said...
Me wrote:My organisation would be happy to support the Nigeria Clown School humanitarian project with a donation.
All we would ask for in return is a few simple photographs showing the good work you are doing before and after receiving the donation, so we can satisfy our shareholders.
As you no longer practice law, we would also need to speak to a barrister or lawyer who would act on your behalf.
If these two conditions are acceptable, we should be able to have your barrister arrange for the needful papers in much less than a week and have the donation finalised within days.
I was hoping to get the lad back in contact with Myon359 with this, but that didn't work out. Instead...
Scammer wrote:Thank you very much for your last letter, and thank you for sparing your time and effort in assisting a stranger. I apologize for my late reply, I was trying to arrange with a lawyer who can stand on my behalf.
With a fair support support from your organization, we will not only concentrate on Clown performers , we will add it up with skill acquisition center, where Fashion design, Catering and other Home economic services will be thought . We want to use this avenues to support and empower teenagers and the youths especially the underprivileged.
Our main focus is basically rendering support to underprivileged children in any capacity we can be able to, not only in our school but in other schools around our community. We does our best to put smiles on people's face because poverty is very much here.
Attached is our Clown school and what it currently looks like.
I am a member of Christian Men Organization of Nigeria. Attached is my CMO Identity card and my induction certificate.
Here is the lawyers email address and his telephone number:
<snip personal details of someone who, notably, isn't Myon359's character>
You have no idea how much your assistance means to me. For all your effort behind this humanitarian outreach , I want to say thank you.
Thanks and my best regards,
Jonas.
Never mind, let's press on, now we know for a fact he isn't a legitimate charity case but a scammer, let's give him some busy work.
Me wrote:Thank you for your email. It sounds like you are making a valuable difference to the children's lives, and The Koch Foundation would be happy to support your efforts with a sizeable donation.
The next thing I will need from you is a proposal, which lists everything you will need to build the skill acquisition center, and the costs involved. You can list the costs in Naira, Dollars, Euros, Pounds, or any other currency that is convenient, and they don't need to be exact. Your lawyer should be able to help you create the proposal.
If our shareholders agree with your proposal, we will draw up a contract that you will need to sign, and then we will make the donation. I will stay in contact with you through the whole progress.
Scammer wrote:I am so honored going through the message you sent.
Your messages are very uplifting that I shed tears of joy after going through it. I definitely understood that I did not earn this honor by my power but by the power of God who makes every impossibility possible. And I pray for His sufficient grace to carry me through in this task because to whom much is given, much is expected.
I have contacted the lawyer with the proposal requirements which he is already preparing and he will get back to you in a short while.
Your explanations are well understood, and I pray for Gods grace to carry us through in this trial of faith, and make our ascension to be inline with your expectations, and also make everything to work together for good.
Thanks and best regards,
Jonas.
Almost a week passed, and I got this masterpiece.
Scammer's Attorney wrote:I have been consulted by Barrister Jonas with relation to your on
going discussion with him and your willingness to assist indigent
children through School whom Barrister Jonas had been assisting to become useful citizens.
I have gone through your various mails with him and I write to pledge my legal support to the project and to ensure that everything is done within the ambit of the law of the Federal Republic of Nigeria and also ensure compliance, implementation judicious use of monies meant for the project as may come from your Foundation from time to time.
I had however expected that we receive a mail from you directly and addressed to us in this regard.
<snip contact details for a building that, according to Google Maps, doesn't exist>
I wish to encourage you in this endeavor as it would touch the lives
of so many under privileged children in Nigeria.
Thanks,
J.O.J. chukwuocha Esq.
PROPOSAL,
TO THE KOCH FOUNDATION..
It is our intention to now build a proper place of learning where we
can accommodate and have greater number of children and have a
convenient and comfortable environment for learning here in Nigeria.
To this extent, we are scheduling the cost implication of what it will
take which can however be approached in tranches, and/or commenced
from a small or medium scale and take it to a level of tertiary institution where both
underprivileged, less privileged and physically challenged can come
and receive formal education and artistic training to help them in the society.
The picture is therefore like as stated below.;
1) Acquisition of Land:
(a) Size of land: 1 hectare.
Justification:
This will be able to accommodate academic blocks (3 Numbers), A
hostel, An administrative Block, A play ground (Field), A theater and
a guest house.
(b)Prize of Land: About $300,000, including Documentation,
Government Approval and Certificate of Occupancy
and legal fees for documentation and Approval.
2) Building the Structures:
(a) Setting up of a perimeter fence, setting up of the building,
etc. About ($1,000,000) One million dollars.
3) Furniture & Equipments
(a) Learning Aids.
(b) Computers, Home Economics Equipments
(c) Clown materials, Seats, Tables, Forms, Televisions, Projectors.
(d) Air conditions etc.
Prize: $500,000
NOTE: We can start with whatever we can receive as grant from Koch Foundation.
4). Staff Salaries/Welfare for a start at least for 12 months.
Justification:
(a) Two Security men (at least)
(b) Two Cleaners (at least)
(c) Two Drivers (at least)
(d) One Admin officer/Secretary
(e) Seven Instructors/Teachers (at least)
At $150 per month each for 14 personnel's in 12 months is $25,200.
NOTE: Because the Institution is 75% humanitarian, we need to reserve
their salaries for this period believing that beyond this point, the
school should be able to pay Staff salaries generated from the 25% who are better
privileged to support the school.
5)Buses, Cars, Power generator, Transformer.
(a) 2 Buses @ $20,000
(b) 2 Cars @ $20,000
(c) 1 Lister Generator @ $10,000
(d) Solar Energy Alternative @ $10,000
Prize: $60,000
There is little or no power supply, and 24/7 hours light is required.
6) Ancilliary materials, Stationary etc. @ $15,000
Grand Total = $1,900,200 ( One million, nine hundred thousand, two
hundred dollars.
This budget is foreseeable and of course there will be lots of
unforeseen and unbudgeted expenses which is expected to arise as the
project goes on.
However, we expect that in the situation, that this budget is high as
we can see it is, we can divide this entire project into two halves, or
into 4, in quarters and take them up, and gradually realize them and complete the entire thing as we progress.
We appreciate your interest in this matter and pray that the Good LORD
will continue to use your Foundation to the aid of the less privileged.
Thanks so much.
From the best of
J.O.J. Chukwuocha & CO,
Barristers and Solicitors.
(Legal Attorneys to Barrister Jonas)
I decided to play the dollar signs and spin some bullshit about a flexibility fund to make them do some more maths.
Me wrote:Thank you for your proposal. Firstly, I believe in clear and efficient communication and not duplicating messages, which is why you did not receive a message directed solely at you. I apologise if I did not make sufficiently clear that all of my messages are directed at both of you. After all, we are all working towards the same aim.
It is considered usual in philanthropy to allocate an additional 10% flexibility fund to deal with unforeseeable expenses. I attach a final breakdown of the costs I shall present to the board of directors on Monday.
Initial capital costs $1'875'000
Flex $187'500
Ongoing costs $3'350 per month
Flex $335 per month
Optimistic impact 5000 persons
Optimistic cost per person $375.00 + $0.67 per month
Pessimistic impact 1000 persons
Pessimistic cost per person $2'062.50 + $3.68 per month
Please both confirm that this is accurate.
Scammer's Attorney wrote:Re: Final breakdown if Proposal
I act on behalf of Barrister Jonas and have his instructions to confirm as correct The final break down on proposal.
We accept it as our final proposal for presentation to your board.
Thanks so much for your continued patronage.
JOJ CHUKWUOCHA ESQ.
(Legal Attorneys to Barrister Jonas)
Cc to Barrister Jonas.
I left it a few days, and yesterday, I sent this short email
Me wrote:Dear both,
Committee met today.
Agreed with me that we can proceed to the next stage and make a formal application.
Details to follow shortly.
I got half a dozen frenzied emails in response, and left it until this morning, when I followed up with
Me wrote:Both,
There are two forms that need to be filled in. The application form gives us full details of where the grant should be paid to and the last documentation we need, and the other is the standard test of moral worth which you are expecting. Print both out, complete them, and return them quickly.
This is the penultimate step before the first payment, $1'875'000 USD, will be paid as you indicate on the form.
I look forward to a long and fruitful partnership.
...and I attached two forms, one is my own personal "application form" which ties the scammers down to one named individual who will be their money mule for the rest of the process (and requires lots of ID from that mule, just to make life harder), the other is the lovely "Universal Standardized Test of Moral Worth" PDF that I've had kicking around for a few years, and I wish I could credit its creator.
Now you're all up to date.