A romance lad calling himself Joseph Ortega contacted my British contact's baiting character "Betty" on Instagram. He told her he lives in LA and has a mountain house and a castle. He said he works on an oil rig in Australia, his wife died in a car accident and he has one son Alex. After 3 days he was pretending to madly in love with the widowed little old lady Betty, but his son was stressing him out as he needed gift cards for his g*mes. Then Alex, the son, came into it to talk to Betty too, and after 2 messages started calling her mom.
So Alex started begging for gift cards and Joseph talked about him and Betty starting a life together and selling their homes to buy somewhere together. Betty sold her house by Joseph's persuasion. Joseph then told her to sell all her belongings and donate the money to an orphanage he knows in Australia. Betty told him she would have to live in her motor home (RV). The couple that moved into the house wanted to build a basement but as work started they found gold. Betty's nephew, Andy, came to visit his aunt and help dig for the gold. Alex took advantage of this and asked Andy to go get gift cards. Andy went to get gift cards and posted them in the mail after running into Alex’s friend Dondi White, who was actually a visiting NYC mobster after the gold. Alex insisted Andy go threaten Dondi and retrieve the cards and Andy was kidnapped. Betty and the new homeowners had to move into a hotel for their safety.
After Andy was taken, Betty hired a PI Bellona. Bellona fell in love with Alex and saw him as her hero. She made plans to catch her arch enemy Dondi with Alex’s genius ideas. Sadly after much shenanigans, including Alex being tricked into thinking that Dondi turned the skies of London green, Dondi killed Bellona. Dondi had several men working for him including Big L a rapper who died in the 1990s but was cryogenically frozen and bought back to life, and Kramer, a terrifying deformed man wearing a white mask to hide his face.
In comes the 110 year old Chinese monk who lives on veggies and water and has an amulet that keeps him alive. He lives with his nieces Kyary and Abbie. Alex messaged them for aid, and quickly falls in love with Abbie
Everyone is trying to stop Big Bad Dondi. Despite Alex already dating Abbie (online though) Dondi sees her and falls in love with her the first time he saw her. Alex tells Abbie to go to dinner with Dondi as a distraction. Dondi thinks the girl loves him back and is completely smitten with Abbie. However, Alex suddenly realised his stupidity, and decides to ruin the romance. He orders Abbie to call Dondi and tell him she does not love him. As a result of such bad news, Dondi falls into depression, gets drunk, cusses Alex out, drives his car into the river and drowns. His car and body are found and a funeral is held. Three days later he comes back to life having spoken to Satan and the deceased Bellona. Abbie and Dondi fall in love and Abbie flees with him.
In comes Abbie and Kyary’s cousin, a crazy drug fuelled Japanese man Takechi. He is supposedly the world's most famous detective and tries to stop Dondi.
In order to prevent being caught by Takechi, Dondi and Abbie prepare to steal the amulet that can keep you alive or kill anyone you wish to die if you hold it, look at the picture of who you want to die, say their name 3 times, and the way you want them to die. Once it’s stolen the monk dies of old age due to no amulet. And Takechi then also dies when Dondi uses the amulet on him and makes him have a stroke.
Alex is getting terrified by this point. Joseph tells Betty he has a plot of land in Egypt and they are having a house built. But he needs money to pay the builder as his account isn’t working. So Betty sends £20,000 but Dondi intercepts it for himself and Abbie - they do need to pay for their wedding after all.
Betty decides to sell some of the gold and finds a bullion dealer she is happy to work with. But the dealer is based in Abuja, so she has to travel to Nigeria. By this point she has become the friend of a young lady who works at the hotel she’s staying in. She introduces her “Alexandra” to Alex and they quickly fall madly in love. Alexandra suspects something isn’t right with Alex, and when she confronts him he admits he’s a Nigerian scammer named Godstime Okoro. She promises not to tell Betty. Betty decides to take Alexandra with her to Nigeria as her mom recently died. Then shocking news come that Alex has been shot because he wouldn’t admit he’s gay and he’s dead. Godstime invented this lie, because playing Alex, Joseph, and himself, was too much stress.
Anyway, Alexandra is planning for Godstime the scammer to meet with them in Nigeria. She tells him he has to travel to the hotel to meet. This is quite a distance and it takes a lot of love talk from Alexandra to convince him. But he eventually says he will come. Once on the plane Alexandra and Betty meet a woman called Azeli. It turns out she will be staying at the same hotel as them. She is also being romance scammed by Godstime and has been for the past two/three weeks.
Alexandra is not happy to discover her love has asked another woman to get a hotel room with him, and he’s calling her beautiful but he says it’s not cheating so it’s all okay right?
Before anything can happen, Azeli is kidnapped by Godstime’s “uncle”, who is ANOTHER Nigerian scammer trying to cut in on the gold scammer's business and she is held for ransom.
On the day Godstime finally arrives, having come from Ekpoma to Abuja, he’s on constant communication with Alexandra and Betty, until the moment he arrives at the hotel. Then all goes deathly silent. He spends a miserable night on the streets, and he sells his phone 3 times, somehow getting it back all over again.
Eventually after many hours and a cold night he learns that Alexandra and Betty have also been kidnapped by his “uncle” Adekunle. In a panic, he alerts Andy who is back in England recovering from appendicitis (therefore he can't wire money). Andy alerts his father, Keith, also known as Dr. Octagon, a spy working for some unnamed agency (so that I don't get in trouble for impersonating law enforcement) . Dr. Octagon listened to Godstime's whole tale of being safaried to Abuja with pity and finally said that he'd send in a helicopter to save Godstime. The helicopter however would be at a mosque all the way across town by 9pm. Godstime suddenly hired a taxi and went to the mosque to wait for the helicopter.
Of course no such helicopter was coming. Godstime waited till 5 minutes after 9pm till he finally asked if he'd been led here for some wild-goose chase. I was struggling to explain, and then a miracle happened.
An actual helicopter flew over the mosque.
Godstime isn't complaining about the helicopter showing up anymore - instead he's sad they flew over and missed him. Now we're telling him that the helicopter must not have landed due to danger and he better flee Abuja. We planned to make him go to Jos to meet a secret agent before the weekend. He wound up stuck in a hotel in Abuja, doing pretty decent, but lonely and mad he couldn't speak the local language of Hausa.
Anyhow the journey to Jos failed and he wound up going to Warri instead. The journey to Warri occurred in stages. First he almost agreed to meet the agent in Jos. However, surprise surprise, the agent turned out to be Big L, attempting to find a real job and become a "good boy" as Godstime calls it. Godstime decided not to go to Jos and turned traitor on L. He promised to help him and then told Keith/Dr.Octagon that Big L was evil and needed to be fired. His proof? "Google Big L on Youtube and listen to what he raps about. He's evil! Would you trust a devil even if he is talented?" Keith checked and sure enough, Big L was fired. L found out about Godstime's treason, and proceeded to rap a freestyle insulting Godstime. Godstime listened and replied "May all of what you sang hurt you and your generation." Then he wrote Keith saying what happened and said "He hurt my feelings." Keith persuaded him that it was best to go to Warri. Again he was told he'd have a contact to meet there. He complained, but then found cash and he left for Warri.
The trip to Warri was long and tedious. The bus broke down in Kogi for around 2-3 hours. Then it continued on. Godstime got there only to find out that due to confusion surrounding Big L being fired, no replacement agent had been assigned to Warri to meet him. He was again stranded, and it was his own fault. If he hadn't had Big L fired, he could've been nice and happily out of the area.
As most lads do, he coughed up cash from a magical wallet, and there he stayed in a hotel for a few days. While he was there, a new agent entered the picture: 16 year old child genius Agent Karat, real name Mikayla Gunner from Czechslovakia. She asked him for an audio or video recording of everything that has happened thus far before she made any moves on his behalf. He argued as to why he should do such. Karat explained her reasoning and asked him to make a video recording of himself. He made multiple excuses such as bad camera, network issues. Eventually he agreed to do the audio at least. But even this took a few days and persuasion. He claimed he went to a recording studio in Warri, and they laughed at his story and beat him up. After more convincing he did send the audio recording though.
In the middle of the fighting for the recording, one of the kidnapped women, Alexandra, who Godstime was romancing, escaped and asked him for help, she was afraid and alone in the jungle. He refused to travel to help due to poverty.
Alexandra was finally rescued by Karat and her men. She led the agents to all three ladies who were rescued and Godstime was once again happy.
He then returned to Ekpoma one day without warning. He had failed to inform anyone he had travelled back to Edo state, when asked how he got back with “no money” he claimed he begged at the train station.
Meanwhile, he learned that the amulet that Dondi White stole can end lives can also resurrect lives. He still believes all of this.
At this point in time, Karat fell madly in love with Godstime. Her only issue was that Alexandra already had taken Godstime. The agent got around this easily. She used Godstime to get Dondi's email and mailing address, and sent a forged letter to Dondi claiming she was being tortured by Alexandra and begging Dondi to kill the supposed kidnapper. Dondi fell for the letter and magically enchanted Alexandra to die. Karat received word of this and made the plot even worse.
As Karat had decided to make the murder look like an accident, Alexandra “his love” was invited to a party with Karat and others. Godstime finally learned that Alexandra was to die this very night. He did not, however, try to warn her for fear of scaring her. Eventually, Alexandra was dancing and fell out a 2nd story window and broke her neck. Karat was suddenly overcome by remorse for the death and fled the area, telling Godstime she'd kill herself. Suddenly, Godstime, he was telling Karat how he loved her and using her real name Mikayla. He convinced her not to commit suicide and said they'd get married, but would wait for her until she turned 18 because he was scared he would be arrested for child abuse. However, Godstime still felt suspicious about the death. He contacted Keith/Dr.Octagon and together they investigated it until they discovered what Karat had done. Distraught by being revealed, Karat contacted Dondi White and confessed her deeds. Dondi was furious about being tricked and killed her, with Karat's permission. Karat died peacefully in custody of the FBI while holding a photo of Godstime, and telling him how she loved him still. Godstime meanwhile bawled his eyes out, possibly for real.
Betty was shook up over having two deaths back to back, but informed Godstime that he could come to the U.K. for Alexandra’s funeral. Sadly he has no passport. Keith has promised to look into one, but claims there are massive amounts of paperwork to fill. Godstime affirms he'll fill it if it means he's mailed a passport.
As this bait unfolds, the narrative has transcended the boundaries of a typical romance bait. With the promise of more characters, paperwork to fill out, and unexpected enemies, it should be clear that the tale is far from over. I will be updating this long text once I have more time and more trophies to show for it.
Here are some of our pics of the guy:
This is my favourite photo of Godstime in happier times - when he had a client apparently believing he lived in Australia with a castle.
At one point, Betty's cousin Andy went insane due to anesthesia from appendix removal surgery and demanded in very coarse terms that Godstime make this sign. Godstime somehow thought Andy was sane and did it. Andy fainted after and had no memory of demanding this sign, much to everyone's embarrassment. Done for friends at reddit.com/r/banvideogames.
After seeing my success, my British contact decided to try the same with her Alexandra character. She succeeded easily.
Mugu boy in front of the appointed meeting spot in Abuja - no Brits to be seen.
He found a hotel the 2nd night - and decided it would be a good idea to send Dr. Octagon shower pics.
Another pic at the same hotel in the morning - made with devil's horns cause it looks cool (his real reason)
Breakfast at the Abuja hotel. It actually looks good, I'd eat it!
Edited - bware419ers
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