It's always nice......

[Mr Dapper]

It's always nice to receive an email like the one below after you've reported a bank account. R.I.P Lilly.

Attention Cyril

We the entire body of US-CUSTOM SERVICE sympathized with you, we say we are very sorry for the death of your beloved sister.

I will be sending you another account information were you will transfer the money to, the previous account details I sent to you the account holder had an emergency and right now he is not in the state so by Monday I will get another account sent to you were you will send the money.

Once again we are sorry for the death of your beloved sister, May her soul rest in perfect peace Amen

Thank you and God bless.

Yours in service
Mr. John W,
Deputy Assistant Secretary for Operations

[p38cyq]

Well done!

[bware419ers]

[Mr Dapper]

Mr. W provided the promised bank account which was reported in the hope that another "emergency" may raise its ugly head. Since the account details were sent, Mr. W has been pestering Cyril to make the payment. Unfortunately Cyril has more pressing things to deal with.

Dear Mr. W

I have just read your email and I want to assure you that I will transfer the £550 as soon as practically possible. However, at this moment in time, I am trying to arrange the burial at sea that my sister so wanted. This is causing somewhat of a headache as it is not just a case of lugging her overboard from some ship like they show in the movies. It would appear that I will need a licence issued by the MMO before Lenny and I can even think about hiring some kind of vessel for said proceedings. I have included this link ( https://www.gov.uk/guidance/how-to-get- ... in-england ) so that you have a better understanding of the problem I am facing. I am also facing the added problem that Lilly really wanted to be interned in Caribbean waters. I think this wish was partly due to that pesky Johnny Depp, or should I say his character Jack Sparrow. Lilly loved all sorts of pirate nonsense and would often be seen parading around Camden dressed as the aforementioned pirate. Come to think of it, you may be able to help Lenny and I fulfil my sisters wish. You work for US customs, so is there any way you could pull a few stings so Lenny and I ship Lilly out to the USA and sling her overboard off the coast of Puerto Rico. Would that be possible? I would of course be willing to pay any legal fees that would be required to facilitate such an outcome. I await your reply.

Toodle-pip

Cyril

[Mr Dapper]

Another happy customer. This time for Harold

Hello harold

I want to send you a new bank details to send the payment today due to Ms. L??? text me few minutes ago saying she's having issues with her account and can't receive money in that account for now.

Mr. Cecil R???

Followed by

Use this new account details to send the payment.

Account details

Mr. Cecil R???

Too bad Harold has already set of to his bank with the previous account details. I have a feeling he's not going to be very happy about his wasted trip into Southampton.