Piggy hunt: lad insists on bitcoin

[Thunderfire]

TLDR: most of this is me arguing with a lad whether bitcoins is for hackers (or in the lads words: "hackles"), still I think it is pretty funny.

I sent a generic message to a list of known scammers.

Hi, please let me know how to proceed.

"Richard Robert" responded

Hello dear I received your email and I want you to know that all arrangements and issues regarding the transfer of your funds is ready and completed, but as the beneficiary you are expected to obtain a clearance certificate before your funds will be released to you. The clearance certificate is a certificate that proves that you have started receiving your funds.
It will cost you the sum of $150 to obtain the clearance certificate.
And be rest assured that once the $150 for the certificate is paid your funds will be released to you immediately without any further delay or cost.
I am waiting for your urgent response
Thanks and remain blessed

OK so I need a certificate that proves I am already receiving funds before I receive any funds, makes sense.

Hi where should I send the $150?

You need to shoose how you prefer to send it
Bitcoin or gift card which one did you prefer to send the required fee?

Hi, bank transfer please.

No we are not allow that because we need to use the fee to activate your funds so you can shoose bitcoin or gift card which one did you prefer to use and send the fee

Hi, no I don't want that.
Bitcoin is for hackers and gift cards are for criminals.
I am an upstanding citizen who only does real transactions using the bank.

No is not possible this is not hackles

I saw on television that the bits of coin are used in the dark web.
If you don't watch out the hackers they will chain your blocks.

Listen this is not a hackles if you are ready to send the fee just let me know so I can send my bitcoin wallet address

No you listen! I don't want to get hackled.
You can tell me your bank account and I will send the money, that way you can not hackle me!

Why a my hacked you while you are the one who will send me the fee

No! No hackles! Don't speak of this anymore I don't want to hear anymore of your hackles!

Listen now are you ready to send the required fee or not yet

Yes!!! I have been ready forever! It is you who is being difficult and trying to turn this into some weird Western Onion thing!

I confused him with a different scammer, he doesn't care though.

I'm not tuning to anything you are the one who refuse to send the fee for the operation

Bullshit! I have been asking to send the fee for days!

Listen because I don't have any option again how you will send the fee

How will I send the fee??

Hi, I will send it via bank transfer.

Like I said before we are not except bank transfer because we are going to use it and activate your funds so you have to try and send it true bitcoin wallet address or gift card that's only option we have

I am not a hackler I don't have bits of coin.
Why are you making this so difficult?

You need to put coin there and send it because that's only option we have

You should make more options.

I'm so sorry that's only option we have you need to try so we can make this done

Try what?

You need to try and put coin in your bitcoin wallet and send it to me let make this transaction done

No! For the last time I ám not lettin some hacklers chain my blocks!
You need to try and tell me your bank account so I can send the money.

You are not yet ready to received your funds

I am ready, the problem is that you are not ready to receive my payment!

You refuse to shoose one to option I give you

You refuse to give me an acceptable option!
Do you not have a bank account? What kind of man are you?

Why can't you make a simple thing

I can make a simple thing, it is you who makes things complex.
Bank transfer = simple
Bits of coins = hacklers, blocks, chains, webs of darkness

That's lying

What is?

You don't want to received your funds

What!! That's ridiculous, I have been trying to pay you so I can get my funds for days!
You're mad! Of course I want to receive the fund!

You are the one who refuse to send the fee for the option I give you

I'm not refusing to send the fee! You are refusing to let me send the fee!

Why can't you use bitcoin or gift card I told you are you not from United States which country are you from?

I am from France.

Okay but I'm not from there so what account should I send you so that you can send the fee

I can do international bank transfers, so any bank account should work.

This is not International business okay and if you can pay true pal pay

You said you were not from France, now you say you are.
Which one is it? Or are you just full of shit?

I'm from United States of America

Of course you are buddy, of course you are...

Hi sorry to inform you but united state is international

Yes but this our company we are not expecting any bank transfer only gift card or bitcoin that's what we are using to activate funds

Tell me your account and you can expect I will send the fees to it.

Listen If you want to pay the fee use bitcoin wallet let completed this transaction

Again with the bitcoins?

I am not a hackler so I am not doin the bits of coin thing it is too dangerous.

Listen is for hackles okay

Bitcoin wallet is not hackles

it is hackles, i saw on tv that they chain your blocks in a dark web.
you have to be more careful

We are deel with them like 10 years now so they are not a hackles you need to send the fee if you are really ready to received your funds

You are dealing with hackles for 10 years and you expect me to trust you?

They not hackles for your information

I think they hackled you!
You should change your password.

No they are not hackles okay if you want to send the fee just let me know

How do I know if I am talking with the real you or the hacker?

You are talking to the real me okay you don't have to worry about anything okay?

With all this talk of hackles there are definitely things for me to worry about.
I don't know why you are making this so complex, I just wanted to send the fee, but you have turned this into something dangerous.

You need to send it true bitcoin if you are ready to send it now make I send you my bitcoin wallet

Then I will get hackled just like you!
If you tell me your bank account, we can do this the safe way without hackles.
Please, no more hackles!

You are not going to get hacked you need to send the fee

Sending the fee without getting hacked would be perfect.
That's what I have been trying to do.

You are not going to get hackles if you are ready make I send my wallet

Why are you sending me your wallet?
I don't need your bank card to send the money, just your account number.

How much are you going to send?
In my account

Seems like he has finally caught on that the bitcoin thing it is never going to work.
Let's change the currency.

€150 like we agreed.

My account cannot allow €150 only €1,000 my account will expect

Getting greedy now

OK, as long as I get my funds.

So are you going to send the 1000

If you finally tell me your bank details, yes I can send it.

Okay but for your information the account is my friend for Nigeria and after you send it to him he will send it to me true bitcoin wallet okay so should I send it to you?

Hi, I don't want to know about your hacker friends.
If you have a normal bank account for me to make a safe transfer, that will work.
Let's proceed.

The account I am going to give you now will work

I doubt it

First piggy!

I ignored him for a while to get him to be a bit more desperate, waiting for a payment that isn't coming.

Hello
So you are playing games with me right

Hello.
Are you there

OK sure.
What games do you want to play?

PS: I will send the money tomorrow.

What time should I expect the receipt of the payment

You should expect it tomorrow.

Okay?

Hello
What's going on have you send the fee

What's delay you to send the required fee since you have to hurry up let make this transaction done

I went to the bank but they said the transaction to your account in Nigeria is unsafe.
I think they figured out that you want to do bitcoin hacks with the money.
Your involvement with hackers has ruined this entire transaction.

I don't understand you said that only bank account you will send the fee what hackles are you talking about again

You said your Nigerian friend would turn it into hackles and send it to you.
I think the bank found out about your plan to hack them.

Why are you always thinking negative about me?

Because of your involvement with the crypt of currency and their hackles.
You keep talking about these bits of coin, I am not sure you even realise they are hacking you.

If you can't use bank anymore send it true bitcoin wallet I don't know why you are making this transaction so difficult

They are not a hackles

I think the hackers, they tricked you into this.
But those bits of coin you want, they are made out of hackles.
It's not real money, the hackers make it with the computer.

Bitcoin is not hackles okay

Should I send you my bitcoin wallet address because that's going to be easy way to send the fee

Hello Are you there

I am here.

Should I send you my bitcoin wallet address because that's going to be easy way to send the fee

I really don't want to get involved with hackles or hacker money.
Can you please stop?
I just want to finish this transaction but you keep trying to hack me.

Now again how do you really want to send the required fee

Bank transfer please.
It will work if you don't do any hacking, banks don't like that.

Okay why can't you send it to the account I to sent you

I tried to but the bank wouldn't let me they said it was an unsafe transaction.
Maybe it will work if you don't do any bitcoin hackles this time.

Can you send the fee in the morning

Are you not doing transfer with your phone or what

OK I will try to do the transfer on the phone.
I will call the bank tomorrow.

Okay I'm waiting to hear from you Tomorrow once you send it and remember payment receipt

Hello
How are you doing today?
What is going on about the required fee have you send the fee

Hi I called the bank and told them all about why I have to send the money to you and how important it is.
But they just said they don't allow money to be sent to Nigerian hackers because they don't want to be involved with hacks or crimes.
Why don't you tell me your own US bank account, so I can send it there instead of to your Nigerian hacker friend?

Okay now I am going to send you France account can you be able to send it there and also I hope you know how much you are going to send now

Or should I send my own us account which one should I send to you?

Either should work, maybe send both in case one doesnt work.
Which account do you want the money in?

You need to shoose the one we easy for you

I guess the French account is easiest.

Why French account you have to shoose us account or France account which one

France please, sorry that is what I meant.

Okay so once I send the France account you will send the required fee $1000 dollars right?

I thought it was €1000.

Yes so once I sent the account you will send the fee right

Yes...

I will send you the account tomorrow morning okay

I wonder why there is always some delay before they send bank accounts, I guess someone else manages the money mules.

OK that's fine.

Second piggy!

After this I tried to get the US piggy he mentioned by saying my bank wants me to send to the country he is from, but he didn't fall for that one.
At one point he said "fuck you" and threatened to cancel my funds but he didn't do anything interesting otherwise, and just continued whining that I should send the money.

[Kitty La Gore]

OMG I laughed so hard reading this!! Excellent work, Thunderfire!

[A.N.Otherbaiter]

I really enjoyed this, and learned a couple of tricks too, thank you so much for sharing!

I am not a hackler I don't have bits of coin
(...)
it is hackles, i saw on tv that they chain your blocks in a dark web.

De-education is always a personal favourite of mine and it was great to see you do that. It's always really hilarious when lads get their hackles up

he (...) just continued whining that I should send the money.

So... typical lad, then!

[d3rr3n]

Very funny.

Can my eldery character borrow the bits of coin and crypt of currency terms? XD