Goofy crap your lads wrote

[Myon359]

Part of a letter from a judge who can't spell her own name:

It was also agreed that this payment should be coordinated by the office of the President of ICJ, hence my involvement as the President of ICJ to bring sanity to the payment process. The method abducted; stipulated that the beneficiary should present an Origin Fund Certificate(OFC) issued to him and his valid identity card

[Fatter Siam]

I DID NOT SAY THERE IS ANY UPYOURBUTT IN NIGERIA.

THE ONLY UPYOURBUTT IN NIGERIA IS YOUR BROTHER AND THE WIFE.

Next of kin scammer getting frustrated with me when I keep thinking I had discovered a long lost line of family members in Nigeria.

[bware419ers]

Go to any Walmart store around you and protest an apple gift cards

[Jimlad]

This one wins this year's William J. MacGonagle prize for illiteracy. Here it is in full. See if you can get through it without your head exploding! I particularly like the idea that Mrs Connie Controlling is sometimes a man!

Attention

WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM NOW,LISTEN TO ME MY DEAR,WE RECEIVED EMAIL TODAY
AFTER MY EMAIL TO YOU THIS TODAY WE RECEIVE EMAIL FROM THIS MAN CALL
MRS.CONNIE CONTROLLING THAT YOU HAVE MOTOR ACCIDENT TODAY MORNING AND
YOU DEAD? IS TRUE THAT YOU ARE DEAD PLEASE URGENT RESPONSE IF YOU ARE
ALIVE AS THIS EMAIL FORWARDED TO OUR KEYSTONE BANK CUSTODY OFFICE
TODAY FROM MRS.CONNIE CONTROLLING IMPOSTOR,WHO CAME TO OUR KEYSTONE
BANK OFFICE THIS MORNING WITH HIS BARRISTER,AND STATED THAT YOU ARE
DEAD WITH MOTOR ACCIDENT THAT YOU ARE KNOW MORE IN THIS WORLD AGAIN
SHE WANTED TO CLAIM THIS FUND OUT OF YOUR NAME AS YOUR NEXT OF KING
SHE IS READY TO PAY ALL THE DELIVERY FEE NEEDED TO CLAIM UP YOUR FUND
AS YOU DEAD LISTEN IF YOU ARE NOT DEAD THAT YOU ARE ALIVE URGENT
RESPONSE THIS EMAIL WITH UPDATE THE DELIVERY FEE TO SHOW US THE TRUE
THAT YOU STILL ALIVE,BEFORE WE CANCEL OUT YOUR NAME OFF IN THIS TOTAL
FUND OF $24.500,000 00 USD,FROM KEYSTONE BANK,IF YOU ARE NOT DEAD THAT
YOU ARE ALIVE URGENT RESPONSE THIS EMAIL UPDATE US WITH NEEDED $50
APPLE GIFT CARD OR STEAM WALLET IF YOU ARE ALIVE TO SHOW US THE TRUE
THAT YOU ARE ALIVE TO RECEIVE YOUR FUNDS,OR MRS.CONNIE CONTROLLING
IMPOSTOR WILL CLAIM UP YOUR FUNDS FINAL

MR JAMES WILLIAMS

[bobdemol]

^^ Good grief

[pete515]

Don't tell me. He is a CEO writing this tosh?

[Jimlad]

Correct. CEO of the Keystone Bank. English however was clearly not his principal area of study at university.

[Guanaco]

Twelve = 200. Small money, just a few billions. No need to be too accurate or too formal, thinks Antonio.

Sir/Madam,

This is to bring to your notice the World bank has awarded a contract of Twelve Billion Dollars only ($200,000,000,000.00 USD) for Charity home foundation in Dubai. Therefore if you are interested in the contract please do not hesitate to contact Justin Trudeau [email protected] and furnish him with your full detailed information for more details.

Antonio

[pete515]

Twelve or two hundred billion, that is sure going to be some charity home when it is built

[Kitty La Gore]

IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SEND PLS LET ME KNOW AND STOP ACTING LIKE A CHILD

I was tempted to reply in a very childish way, but for now I'm letting the lad know he's rude, plus he has given me the same account information for three months and I've already TOLD him my bank doesn't deal with Iowa institutions.

[Kitty La Gore]

We argued over whether I need check paper to print his bogus check.

A plain white shit is good enough , you can as well use the special check paper.

I replied, "Excellent. I will strain hard to produce that."

[B8er]

You might have problems locating white shit, it's becoming rare https://www.drool.pet/blogs/the-why/mys ... oo-anymore (possibly a bit NSFW)

[Myon359]

A lad on safari far from home was asked what he was doing. His reply:

I am waiting for manners from heaven

[Fatter Siam]

I lost my only son some years ago and now coronavirus has taken the last thing that matters to me in this life my hand.

[kaliban48]

The bank in Lome,Togo gives me explicit instructions on sending the money.

Good morning my brother just to tell you that she just call attorney second of 2 February2024 the bank attorney going come the bank and be making a quietly about your let's grinds this time message please can you send those to me no no for him I see you say that you contact me I'm very very nice message to come and check all the vessels through documents that is necessary to you to bring to the account to activate and also to be transfer the money when you are making bank account that you provide to the bank which is the banks show me all the application form that you feel free your brother it's so I decided to be in back from high justice as I already put it up appeal for the documents so I I don't have already issue the bank attorney go ahead and order to do justice for the signing off on the documents in your name to be proved so that the bank we started the transfer immediately but you deceive the documents

<More of this blah,blah,blah snipped. He continues:>

I say Bank attorney to approve that the the lady disease customer is account and our bank here so so don't know don't so that the banks you're the attitude when you get you cucumbers the transfer unless 42 hours so that the money will be appear to your destiny bank account and you will come through can you contact the bank account on Thursday in the court documents thank you and have a nice day

How long will I have to wait for my cucumbers??

[Jimlad]

the United Embassy from the government of Benin Republic in the white house Washington DC

Didn't know that Benin had a joint Embassy with the US in the White House.

[bware419ers]

How are you doing today and how is your family.I know very well that you may have had of the rough trials and Tribulation is going on in this present world and I must tell you that tribulation and trial will only last for a while, but joy comes in the morning. If you have faith like a mustard seed, your good dreams will definitely become reality. God will do it for you and i, therefore, accept and claim your blessings now.

I'm trying to figure out how the lad knows Joy only engages in cockadoodledoo.

[Jimlad]

Meanwhile, this is a can not be scared before and after.

Prizes are available if anyone can tell what that means.

[Fatter Siam]

Me:

Is this for real?

Lad:

Yes offcuts it's real and regity

[Jimlad]

Our government official rate to securing the transfer approval on your behalf will cost you the sum of $25 (Fifty only)"

Genius. Pure genius.

[d3rr3n]

The fee cannot be deducted because your transfer has been coded in the transfer diskette and has a comprehensive insurance policy from Dexia Credit Union

[Jimlad]

We are waiting for your urgent response with any amount you have

[Myon359]

"Brad Pitt" on Instagram is romancing a female character of mine. He writes:

You're my everything and more you all you I want all I need and all I want you to hold on to

[Jimlad]

I got an email this morning from a lad with the email address santander santander <[email protected]
I replied with:

Your email address has nothing to do with Santander and writing the name twice doesn't change anything either!

His rather amazing response?

I agree with you but it doesn't mean your fund does not exist

Err, I think you'll find that's exactly what it means, boi.

[Jimlad]

The ATM account has already being credited with four million eight hundred thousand United States dollars. ($800millionUSD)