Pat-A-Cake Pat-A-Cake

[oscarpiles]

Baker George

AKA Suit Yourself Youself

thelovelyjill has a Lad over in Help and Hints that won't respond to anything I throw at him so I took a hissy fit and replied to Baker George's proposal about some Widow and daughters and er oh yeah MONEY (Who needs punctuation eh?).

I began as I usually do:

Was this meant for me??

In rather short order he replied:

Yes it's for you

we are seeking a reliable and experienced partner with a proven track record in managing and investing large funds effectively to achieve strong returns.

John (me that is) whether a Trucker, Reverend Priest, Naturalist or whatever is qualified and decides to wade in:

My returns have been considered by some to be the Pinnacle of ALL returns. Perhaps we can further our mutual (shall we say) goals when you detail your plans for Mrs. Youself and her daughters.

At this point many Lads might ghost you as they've asked for your cell number, identification, or whatever that was on that list one never reads.

Not Baker George however as he sent another script that asked for my identification, something about an investor and whatnot.

Oh well I'm thinking he might not be taking the Bait so I took a shot:

I can take care of all of that but I might need to hear from the investor first.

Within minutes Baker George gets back to me:

In my next email I will send you more information and possibly introduce you to the investor.

Then without any prodding Baker George mathed me to sleep:

She said she's looking for someone to take 30%, but I'm convinced I can convince her to take 35% in exchange for you giving me 10% and keeping 25% for yourself. And please don't let her know that you will be giving me 10% share out of your share.

So even without the help of those Meddling kids and their stoner dog I was able to deduce that the investor is Mrs. Youself herself..

Baker George wished me a Happy Eastern with an appropriate holiday message that read blah blah my rear end or something like that:

don't forget to keep me updated as soon as you open communication with her to enable follow up from my end

My straight baiting strategy is to try and double tap Bank accounts and then drop or diversify. Thus Mrs. Youself and her daughters are in good hands (I think).

[bware419ers]

Hold on a minute. You know how to bait using email?

It's about damn time Trucker John made a return.

[oscarpiles]

^More like relearning to use email to Bait. I forgot how complicated it was..

So after many delays (read Lads don't work weekends) Mrs. Youself introduced herself with this wall of text that I didn't bother to read:

Assalamualikum! Sir/Madam,

It is a genuine pleasure getting to know you. I just discovered that your email message entered my junk box; that was the reason for my delay in replying to you. Anyway, Your friend said much about you, and because he has assured you that you are competent and reliable, and as well, he guaranteed that I will go ahead and commit my money to you.
Begin to make arrangements ahead of our arrival, because I will be arriving with my two young daughters, of which I won't want us to lack, suffer, or go hungry.

As a result of that, I have instructed that all of our money be put together and remitted to you so that you can make all required arrangements in advance of our arrival in your country. Your country is my choice location for relocation, and so was my late husband's choice too.

I will also include the money for the purchase of a living place and funds that we will be keeping aside for our upkeep till the investments start yielding profit. I am even expecting the arrival of our family finance mandate here because we are in a hurry to get out of here. In reality, we are facing a series of horrible issues if we stay any longer. We have been dealing with a very frustrating networking issue and difficult times here as a result of the on going war and UN sanctions imposed on our banks, including embassies overseas, thereby frustrating all business activities.

Nonetheless, we have decided to leave Tehran between now and the upper week, and we do not want anything to cause us to return here after we have left. As a result of this, we want to make sure that all of our business interests and funds are relocated and be entrusted under your care before we can leave, so that we can be rest assured that I and my children will not be stranded or suffer on arrival and will never be subjected to the same ill treatment that our people who travelled abroad without proper connections and preparations have received.

You need to make the perfect arrangement for us to be received as investors and not treated like second-class citizens. I am believing in you because I have been assured to deal with you without fear, and that is why I want to be sure that our money is safe in your hands so that you can make all necessary preparations prior to our arrival to meet you.

Send me your full name, your telephone number, and your home address in order for me to prepare the MOU agreement for signing because it is part of the requirements required to speed up our travelling process, and then after that, I will prepare the power of attorney, which will give you the sole authority to receive, invest our money, and issue orders on my behalf without interference; all these I already explained to your friend too.

I guess its time for Trucker John to enter the chat:

Greetings there Mrs. Yuself,

It is indeed a pleasure getting to knowing you too though I did have to use the Googler and liked what you said even though I to figure out what you was saying.

As far as my name and such am John T Boi and I live near Broken Arrow well a little bit Southeast of Broken Arrow so maybe closer to the Billy Sims in Cowetta.  Either way I am nestled in Wagoner County, Ok in the USA and since am on the road quite a bit with business I don't usually have a telephone but rely on the CB for most voice communications.  Hope that works for you?

Either way I leave you with this American greeting Aloha Aninahi which I once heard on an old TV show one time I can't remember the name but the star had great hair.

Yours,
 
 John


PS - I'd sure like to see a picture of you and your two daughters.

In times like this I look to the great Prophet C.W. for inspiration:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sd5ZLJWQmss