ASEM Format Confuses Lad

[Madlib_629]

It took a bit, but here come the lad tears on May's shoulder:

May [5/31/26 5:06 PM]
Hi

May [5/31/26 5:06 PM]
I talked to denzel and sporus

Calvin had told May in an earlier text to ask Sporus about how the church planned to send money/packages.

May [5/31/26 5:06 PM]
What hapened with denzel?

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:12 PM]
I don't think I will get any money from joining Denzel's group

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:13 PM]
They are not trustworthy

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:13 PM]
I asked for proof

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:13 PM]
Either a video call

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:13 PM]
Or he sends a already $50

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:13 PM]
I already did the initiation thing and sent pictures

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:14 PM]
I suspect they are selling the pictures on dark web or something

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:14 PM]
Or using it to promote their cult

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:14 PM]
Which is fine but I need to be sure it pays

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:15 PM]
I can take care of their tasks they want for them but I need to be sure they are real

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:15 PM]
How did things go with sporus

So - you're fine with your pictures being distributed on the dark web as long as you get paid for it. Nice....very nice

May [5/31/26 5:21 PM]
What

May [5/31/26 5:23 PM]
What cult?

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:23 PM]
Lincoln park gang

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:23 PM]
That's the name of their cult

May [5/31/26 5:23 PM]
That is not a cult

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:23 PM]
I did the initiation

I decided to ask a direct question here:

May [5/31/26 5:24 PM]
You initiated and you do not even kno what is going on?

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:24 PM]
Yes

No sign of intelligent life on this planet.

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:25 PM]
He wants me to chat sometime in my country and go collect money from her

May [5/31/26 5:25 PM]
Who

May [5/31/26 5:25 PM]
In your country?

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:25 PM]
They scammed her of some money already but her aunty caught up with them

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:25 PM]
I am not new to all this

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:26 PM]
They want me to meet her in person

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:26 PM]
I can do all those but I have to be sure who I am working with

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:26 PM]
A video call or they send me a little token

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:27 PM]
Meeting their victim in person to collect money is dangerous, what if I am arrested for the first money they collected from her

May [5/31/26 5:27 PM]
That makes sense. what did he say? we talked today

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:27 PM]
He said he doesn't know how to make video call

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:27 PM]
Who doesn't know how to make video call

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:28 PM]
Tell me about your discussion with sporus

May [5/31/26 5:28 PM]
I told you denzel is not good at things

So Mr. Braindead Calvin has admitted to:

1. Not knowing what's going on.

2. Being happy with having his pics on the dark web if he gets paid

3. Having sent pics first and thought afterwards.

Yikes

I decided to attempt to get several piggies (plan later abandoned, but it's fine):

May [5/31/26 5:29 PM]
I asked sporus abot the isue you had

May [5/31/26 5:29 PM]
And he sade maybe you can try sending severel bank acounts becase im sure you cant get all the money in one

May [5/31/26 5:29 PM]
They do not send crypto curency

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:30 PM]
They can send it to you and you send to me

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:30 PM]
What do you think

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:31 PM]
They must have legal ways of sending money

May [5/31/26 5:31 PM]
Welcome to denver were no one knos how todo anything

Apologies to any readers from Denver.

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:31 PM]
Western union

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:31 PM]
Money gram

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:31 PM]
Ria

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:31 PM]
International transfer

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:31 PM]
This are all American means of sending money

May [5/31/26 5:32 PM]
You forget there not sending money to john acros town, there sending money to afrika

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:33 PM]
We use all those in Africa baby

May [5/31/26 5:33 PM]
I kno. they dont

May [5/31/26 5:33 PM]
This is the way

May [5/31/26 5:34 PM]
international transfer

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:34 PM]
I even volunteered to send them my family friend address in the USA then they can mail it as they suggest but they said my family friend must be a member of the church and build monument in the USA

May [5/31/26 5:34 PM]
You are expecting a grop of pepole who think the telephone is made by satan to think rationely

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:34 PM]
I can accept any means of transfer

May [5/31/26 5:35 PM]
Then try the bank transfer

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:35 PM]
You have to talk to sporus to convince them on international transfer to Africa

May [5/31/26 5:36 PM]
There convinsed, just ask them

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:37 PM]
They haven't replied my friends email after he sent his home address and told them not to add the money. That they can send the electronics and find other means to send the money

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:37 PM]
They haven't replied

May [5/31/26 5:37 PM]
Are you panicking?

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:37 PM]
No baby

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:38 PM]
I am not scared because I have you

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:38 PM]
You are my strength

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:38 PM]
But you know I can't do anything without you

Music to my ears.

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:38 PM]
And this money is important to me

May [5/31/26 5:38 PM]
I think you shold try then

May [5/31/26 5:38 PM]
Both denzel and the church

May [5/31/26 5:38 PM]
If one fales you can do the other one

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:48 PM]
I done everything Denzel asked

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:48 PM]
He owes me now

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:48 PM]
For the church we need sporus to tell you other ways they send money

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:49 PM]
Sporus is young and knowledgeable

May [5/31/26 5:49 PM]
I talked to denzel and he was rely upset you asked for money and asked me if i found you at the dolar store

May [5/31/26 5:49 PM]
Sporus has a brane like mashed potatoes

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:50 PM]
I asked him for $50 as proof he is serious. You think I am so broke I do not have 50 bucks? It's either a video call or 50 bucks

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:50 PM]
I want a video call from him

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:50 PM]
That's fair for me to ask

May [5/31/26 5:50 PM]
I dont think your broke i think he thinks you are

May [5/31/26 5:51 PM]
Ill set him up for one if you want

May [5/31/26 5:51 PM]
If he dose mess you up i will get rid of him

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:51 PM]
Please set him up for one

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:51 PM]
A video call

May [5/31/26 5:52 PM]
Okie dokie

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:52 PM]
Let sporus know I have a lot of people that wants to convert to the church of the old gods too

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:52 PM]
I have to start doing them baptism

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:52 PM]
I need guidance from the church

Now here comes the REALLY fun part:

May [5/31/26 5:53 PM]
Is that serios?

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:53 PM]
Then I can send them pictures of the process as I am converting them

May [5/31/26 5:53 PM]
Theres a movment for the cult in your area now?

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:54 PM]
I told people about it that they are eager to join

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:54 PM]
Weird

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:54 PM]
I was surprised

May [5/31/26 5:54 PM]
Me to

May [5/31/26 5:54 PM]
Its a cult

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:55 PM]
Well I need a microphone to speak with that number of people

You WHAT????

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:55 PM]
We need a social media platform

For real???

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:55 PM]
You see why I need the church to send those items of theirs and the money

May [5/31/26 5:56 PM]
Thats rely intresting i understand beter now

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:56 PM]
Also when I set up the cult here, you can talk to your uncle to show you come down here to worship

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:57 PM]
And you can return whenever you want

The lad has turned into Jim Baker.

May [5/31/26 5:57 PM]
This sonds like a movie script but okay

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:58 PM]
Trust me it will work. I can invite sporus too if you want.

Oh hell no!!

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:58 PM]
But first I need to set up

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:58 PM]
We need the electronics and money

May [5/31/26 5:58 PM]
Okie dokie. maybe we can do this than and make you a rich cult leder

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 5:59 PM]
They can give you the money and you give it to me. The church said they can give it to a member of the church only. You are a member I guess

May [5/31/26 6:00 PM]
Im not a member

May [5/31/26 6:00 PM]
Im a member of noething i go to another church rember?

May [5/31/26 6:00 PM]
Not the cult

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 6:02 PM]
Well they trust you

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 6:02 PM]
Perfect

May [5/31/26 6:03 PM]
Good then thats perfect

May [5/31/26 6:04 PM]
What do i tel densel?

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 6:14 PM]
Fix a video call

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 6:14 PM]
I need to trust him to work for him

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 6:15 PM]
It's not about the money

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 6:15 PM]
But trust first

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 6:15 PM]
You know I am capable of any task right?

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 6:15 PM]
I just need to be sure he is real with this on video call

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 6:18 PM]
Also I am more interested in the church now since they are ready to send money and you have to help me figure it out

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 6:18 PM]
For Denzel , I just need a video call

May [5/31/26 6:30 PM]
Okie dokie

May [5/31/26 6:30 PM]
Ill set up one then

Calvin Klein [5/31/26 6:44 PM]
Thank you

May [5/31/26 6:44 PM]
Your welcome

May [5/31/26 6:45 PM]
Rember im going to have to tech an area boy to use a video cal system

May [5/31/26 6:45 PM]
I hope your hapy with that

So we went off to set up a meeting on video between Denzel and Calvin.

[Punchbox]

Lad is really baiting himself at this point... Great work lol

[Madlib_629]

During this time, the church was also attempting to set things up with the Jimmy Swaggart in training AKA Calvin

June 1st:

Dearest Brother Solomon:

Good afternoon to you, and I hope the Old Gods are blessing you today. We have read over your message and understood the contents of your email. While we have never had issues with shipping funds overseas before, it would be wise to take into consideration your own cultural experiences, and if you feel this cannot be accomplished safely and sanely, we are more than willing to adjust for you.

My natural son, Sporus, has suggested to me that you send multiple bank accounts, and this does seem reasonable indeed. We will calculate the limits on money transferred and revert back to you with the number of accounts that you will need to provide. Please note that we cannot transfer all of the funds at once into one bank account.

In regards to your package, a few items arrived today, but not everything yet. We are still waiting for the final items to arrive my son, which will probably be directly before the weekend. I will keep in constant contact to let you know the status and I am positive everything shall arrive here in a timely fashion.

I am especially encouraged to hear that you are seeking more converts to our faith. Africa is ripe for harvest and maybe this is the key that the Old Gods will use to open the floodgates and bring many to salvation. May you be blessed for praying to God about all of this, and do not fear, we shall certainly get all delivered on time, regardless of the methods used my son.

Yours in Blessing
Pastor Lucas P.
The Chosen One

Calvin didn't get back to the church for a few days unfortunately. He did however message May:

Calvin Klein [6/1/26 7:52 AM]
You will do a good job

Calvin Klein [6/1/26 7:53 AM]
I will be waiting dear

May [6/1/26 8:29 AM]
Good morning, upsy daisy still crazy

May [6/1/26 8:30 AM]
Sonds good

Calvin Klein [6/1/26 10:15 AM]
Okay

May [6/1/26 7:53 PM]
Day 1 of teching is done

May [6/1/26 7:53 PM]
Your not going to be hapy

June 2nd:

Calvin Klein [6/2/26 2:51 AM]
You don't have to teach him

Calvin Klein [6/2/26 2:51 AM]
When you are with him call me on video call

Calvin Klein [6/2/26 2:51 AM]
It you call me on video call yourself

Calvin Klein [6/2/26 2:51 AM]
I haven't seen you on video call before

Calvin Klein [6/2/26 2:51 AM]
I haven't seen you too

Calvin Klein [6/2/26 2:51 AM]
Very suspicious

Calvin Klein [6/2/26 2:52 AM]
Open a telegram account for him or WhatsApp or google chat

Calvin Klein [6/2/26 2:52 AM]
Then call me

Calvin Klein [6/2/26 2:52 AM]
How did I end up meeting such dullards?

Calvin Klein [6/2/26 2:53 AM]
And you actually allow this people that don't know anything about social media initiate me

Calvin Klein [6/2/26 2:53 AM]
How did they even learn about crypto?

Calvin Klein [6/2/26 2:53 AM]
Kids over here know how to video call using telegram and WhatsApp or Facebook

May [6/2/26 8:23 AM]
Your a scamer. your job is to meet dulards

May [6/2/26 8:24 AM]
Good morning, upsy daisy still crazy

May [6/2/26 8:26 AM]
If your that suspicous of everyone its fine

May [6/2/26 8:26 AM]
I opened gogle chat for him

May [6/2/26 8:32 AM]
In other news i think i have a grate way of makeing money for you

May is honestly so funny to me, because she really doesn't care if Calvin is happy or not. I think if he ended up on live TV being eaten by alligators, May would just change the channel and go back to reading a comic book.

Denzel then got back to him the same day:

Are y'all on Google chat, cause if so, I'mma try and rig up smth and talk to you.

Calvin:

Yes i am on Google chat

Thank God. I'mma try video calling on Wednesday morning.

Not on this email. I will email you

Aight thanks. Now we're finally getting somewhere. This better work cause the client is getting pissed off. And if this ain't done by the weekend, I'mma just bring Mike Okonma in, cause I'm sick of arguing with you and May tryna tell me stuff and everyone thinking I'm a stupid lil kid cause idk how to call you. F*** y'all for thinking I'm an idiot, anyways, have a great day, hope you're doing good.

How did you meet Mike okonma

I just ignored this at the time, as it would've taken too long to come up with a good story (I eventually did though).

We did indeed call, and thank you to Kitty La Gore being a blessing with that. Call will be posted next time around.

[Madlib_629]

Calvin started off the day on June 3rd:

June 3rd:

<email redacted by me>@gmail.com
This is the email we can call

Now this is weird. This email address had an odd name, so I googled it, because it didn't seem like an email name a West African would pick. It turned out, the email was the name of a mascot of a high school in the United States. So whoever had this email probably got hacked.

He also reached out on another email address that I will be calling "Barrister Tawny" and opened a Google Chat request, which I answered in the morning:

Barrister Tawny, Jun 3, 1:28 AM
Hey denzel

Barrister Tawny (via Meet ), Jun 3, 1:29 AM
You, Jun 3, 10:46 AM

Denzel, Jun 3, 10:46 AM
Hey.

Denzel, Jun 3, 10:50 AM
Hello. Howdy.

Barrister Tawny, Jun 3, 12:57 PM
I am here. How are you doing

Denzel, Jun 3, 1:27 PM
Terrible.

Barrister Tawny, Jun 3, 1:28 PM
What happened. Why is it terrible

Denzel, Jun 3, 1:32 PM
Drank too many energy drinks. Are you gonna chat/call here or the other email? You're confusing.

This last text was because he had suddenly jumped to the first email, the one with the mascot's name:

Barrister Tawny Num. 2, Jun 3, 1:35 AM
Hello it is me. We can call here

Denzel, Jun 3, 9:29 AM
Hey.
Sorry, I got high as f*** last night, I drank like three energy drinks.

Denzel, Jun 3, 11:41 AM
Where are you???

Barrister Tawny Num. 2, Jun 3, 12:53 PM
I am here now
I was busy with work

Barrister Tawny Num. 2 (via Meet ), Jun 3, 12:55 PM

Denzel, Jun 3, 1:27 PM
Hello.
Let's try this again...
Call.

Barrister Tawny Num. 2 (via Meet ), Jun 3, 1:28 PM

Barrister Tawny Num. 2, Jun 3, 1:29 PM
You are not picking up

Denzel, Jun 3, 1:31 PM
Huh?
Which email do you wanna call on? Pick one, cause I can't chat on one and call on another tf.

Denzel, Jun 3, 1:33 PM
And then he up and leaves.

Barrister Tawny Num. 2, Jun 3, 1:33 PM
I am calling you on this one

Denzel, Jun 3, 1:33 PM
Okay, then don't chat me on the other pls.
Only person ik who expects me to jump around emails...

Barrister Tawny Num. 2, Jun 3, 1:34 PM
Okay then

Denzel, Jun 3, 1:34 PM
Use this for calling AND chatting, anything else is ridiculous.

Okay then

Bet.
Call now pls.

Barrister Tawny Num. 2 (via Meet ), Jun 3, 1:34 PM

The first call thus resulted: https://voca.ro/1kr6OVA3bR2V

After the call occurred:

Denzel, Jun 3, 1:36 PM
Okay. Let's do it again....
You call me. Idk how to start the call.

Barrister Tawny Num. 2, Jun 3, 1:37 PM
Yes call me using the video sign

Denzel, Jun 3, 1:37 PM
https://voca.ro/1dbJXyffLAxp (Denzel sent a voice message)

Barrister Tawny Num. 2, Jun 3, 1:38 PM
Wait let me show you

Denzel, Jun 3, 1:38 PM
I'm on a laptop if that helps.

Denzel (via Meet ), Jun 3, 1:38 PM

Denzel, Jun 3, 1:38 PM
Ohhh got it.
Where'd you go?

Barrister Tawny Num. 2, Jun 3, 1:39 PM
Look up
Sent an image (this was a sceenshot of the chat buttons)

Denzel, Jun 3, 1:40 PM

Sent an image

I got it. Don't worry.

Barrister Tawny Num. 2, Jun 3, 1:40 PM
The part i circled with yellow ink

Denzel (via Meet ), Jun 3, 1:40 PM

Denzel, Jun 3, 1:40 PM
Join pls....
Oh, now I got some error 131, nvm then ig.
I was tryna call, call me, one more time.

Barrister Tawny Num. 2 (via Meet ), Jun 3, 1:41 PM

Link to this call here: https://voca.ro/1kXRphe8jYk2

Denzel, Jun 3, 1:45 PM
Holy s***, this video call system was built by tambourine playing monkeys on cocaine.
We'll get more success using f*****g pigeons with lil packages on their backs

Calvin didn't reply to this, wasted some of my best metaphors on that

He did get back to the church though:

<piggy sent!!>

You can send a wire transfer to my bank , you can also send western union and money gram to my name at the stores like walmart,walgreens or other outlets that have money gram and western union services.

Thank you and God will keep blessing you.

Pastor Lucas The Chosen One didn't reply however.

Nothing much happened for the rest of the day until June 4th:

June 4th:

May [6/4/26 7:53 AM]
Good morning. Upsy daisy still crazy

Calvin Klein [6/4/26 8:10 AM]
What are you up to?

May [6/4/26 8:10 AM]
Just got out of the shower

May [6/4/26 8:11 AM]
Im going to go with my mom to shoping and then be back here hopfuly at noon

Calvin Klein [6/4/26 9:30 AM]
Will you see sporus today or Denzel

May [6/4/26 9:33 AM]
Maybe i dont think so

May [6/4/26 9:34 AM]
What hapened with denzel?

Calvin Klein [6/4/26 10:15 AM]
Nothing

Calvin Klein [6/4/26 10:16 AM]
I called him on video

Calvin Klein [6/4/26 10:16 AM]
He saw my face but I can not see his

Calvin Klein [6/4/26 10:16 AM]
He is not switching in his video

Calvin Klein [6/4/26 10:16 AM]
Maybe you should call me on video call then

Calvin Klein [6/4/26 10:17 AM]
A short one let me see

Calvin Klein [6/4/26 10:17 AM]
U

Yeah, no.

May [6/4/26 12:32 PM]
Okie dokie, ill send you a video wen we get home

May [6/4/26 12:32 PM]
Were going to my uncles house now

May [6/4/26 12:32 PM]
How stupid

May [6/4/26 12:33 PM]
If he dose it agane tel him your going to talk to me abot his behveyur

Calvin Klein [6/4/26 12:57 PM]
Okay

Calvin Klein [6/4/26 12:58 PM]
He claimed he didn't know how it works

Calvin Klein [6/4/26 12:58 PM]
Is he just a thug then?

Calvin Klein [6/4/26 12:58 PM]
I thought he is good with computers

May [6/4/26 1:31 PM]
He knos some things

May [6/4/26 1:31 PM]
He told me he hasent ben good with computers sinse Windows 7 came out

Calvin Klein [6/4/26 1:59 PM]
Okay tell me the kind of things he knows

May [6/4/26 2:06 PM]
Hes very good at speling

May [6/4/26 2:07 PM]
Also he has conekshuns

May [6/4/26 2:07 PM]
You have to watch him. he dosent rely do much but i think he had inteligent eyes

May [6/4/26 2:13 PM]
But liek i sade if he makes you angry tel me and ill take care of him

Calvin Klein [6/4/26 2:17 PM]
Okay baby I will

Calvin Klein [6/4/26 2:17 PM]
We are yet to hear from the church too

May [6/4/26 4:28 PM]
Rely?

May [6/4/26 4:28 PM]
Wen was the last emale?

Calvin Klein [6/4/26 4:45 PM]
First of June

Calvin Klein [6/4/26 4:45 PM]
Though he replied third off June with his bank details

This is what is known as a garden variety lie.

May [6/4/26 4:50 PM]
Okie dokie thats good

May [6/4/26 4:50 PM]
If they dont rite then you shold rite

May [6/4/26 4:50 PM]
Sieze the day

Calvin Klein [6/4/26 4:54 PM]
He was trying to set up a dollar account so they don't ship the money instead

Uh, no, nothing like that.

May [6/4/26 4:57 PM]
Maybe god has finaly hit him with a big bolt of litening for talking sily stuff and thats why he cant anser

Calvin Klein [6/4/26 5:03 PM]
lol

Calvin Klein [6/4/26 5:03 PM]
God won't hit him yet until he sends the money first please

May [6/4/26 5:06 PM]
Okey i guess

May [6/4/26 5:06 PM]
This month is my birthday

May [6/4/26 5:07 PM]
The 29nth

May [6/4/26 5:07 PM]
And i dont kno what todo with sporus

Calvin Klein [6/4/26 5:13 PM]
How do you mean you don't know what to do with sporus?

Calvin Klein [6/4/26 5:13 PM]
Happy birthday in advance

May [6/4/26 5:21 PM]
I want to get rid of him

May [6/4/26 5:21 PM]
I dont want to mary sporus

And just as requested, here comes the hero:

Calvin Klein [6/4/26 5:23 PM]
Don't worry you won't marry him

Calvin Klein [6/4/26 5:23 PM]
Trust me on that

Calvin Klein [6/4/26 5:24 PM]
When time comes I will take action

Calvin Klein [6/4/26 5:24 PM]
First we have to use them

May [6/4/26 5:24 PM]
If i do i hope he mises me wen im gone

May [6/4/26 5:25 PM]
Im not going to live long rember?

May [6/4/26 5:26 PM]
Its fine thouh

May [6/4/26 5:26 PM]
I think i mite leaf and go live by myself somday

Calvin Klein [6/4/26 5:26 PM]
Why won't you live long?

May [6/4/26 5:27 PM]
Im going to die by 27

May [6/4/26 5:27 PM]
Thats just what hapens. its a long story

Calvin Klein [6/4/26 5:28 PM]
Tell me about it

Calvin Klein [6/4/26 5:28 PM]
In how is not some spiritual believe shit

May [6/4/26 5:31 PM]
Its my sister

May [6/4/26 5:31 PM]
She told me wen i was ten yers old she dedint see anything beyond 27 in my future

May [6/4/26 5:32 PM]
wich means i wil die then

May [6/4/26 5:32 PM]
I havent seen her sinse i was eleven yers old thouh

May [6/4/26 5:32 PM]
And its fine i can do what i like until then

Tomorrow, we will be introducing two new characters, one from me, and another from Calvin - well, actually older character - Barrister Tawny finally coming into action.

[Madlib_629]

Calvin meanwhile went back to normal email with Denzel:

Hello you can text me here now since you could not do a video call on google chat

Aight. So anyways, are you ready to work then? We've wasted a lotta time on this video call drama.

Calvin decided it was a good time to be sarcastic:

So people in Lincoln gang park don’t know how to make video calls? I am sad about that. I thought you guys are smart a**es or something. You guys don’t know how social media features works too ? Well I am among the gang now that I am done with the initiation so I guess you guys now have one smart a** who can teach you all how to make video calls and mathematics/ how social media works.
What deal do you have for me?

Denzel replied back equally sarcastic:

Hooray, you ain't stupid. Yay Don't rub it in my face like that, damn. I know how to hack a jeweler more than I do computers. I ain't gonna be like stumbling around stupid.

So happy we have someone who can teach us social media because we're apparently a buncha backwoods donkeys or smth.

That was sarcasm btw.

Anyways, still the thing with that Samantha client. Need you to write her and set up things with her. Your best bet is gonna be using that Barrister Tawny email. I know that ain't a real barrister, just a scam one, so it's perfect. Write back and I'll send the rest of the details. Peace

Send me her details. I hope I don’t have to meet up with her so my face don’t go running all over all tv stations

That would make for quite the epic though, now wouldn't it?
But in any case, I replied back with the details:

Email: [email protected]

Tel. Number: 1800-GOES-NOWHERE

Addy: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Denver, Colorado(CO), 80231

She already sent a few hundred dollars so don't worry about that part. Yk, if you could convince her not to come, that'd be interesting, but idk. Anyways, good luck. Try as Barrister Tawny and see what happens. Remember, you are talking to her about the business deal she is involved in with Mr. Mark Weather from IPS (International Protective Services).

Calvin replied:

I can handle it . What country is she and city . Then tell me a little about the deal and what you want me to make her believe .

Aight, perfect.

She's in Denver. That's the United States, Colorado. And we've been telling her we're from a bank.

My working name's Mark Weather, from a group called International Protective Services. We hold funds and whatnot. I said our company's from Nigeria cause her cousin was in the Peace Corps and invested money here in Nigeria. She needs to pick up the money. So this girl, she sent the money to pay for the forms to release the funds. And then her aunt told her it sounds like lies and that's where we are right now. Been Chatting her near daily, telling her I'm finding a good barrister and whatnot.

Good, Her aunty loves over there in the USA . I will text her .

\

He then said:

I want bulk emails. How do you send the spam messages to them in bulk (how do you send to many of them all once) ?
I believe you done text them one after the other. I once had a Chinese webmail but it’s flagged now . How do you receive payments ?

Denzel replied back with an actual story based off of a previous unpublished bait:

Ugh, quit dealing with the Chinese. Real story - we once had a Chinese lady picking up payments for us. She went by Nera. You know how May's super smart but also all kind and mess? Well Nera was basically May without any kindness at all. Dumb b**** was stiff as a board. I eventually complained to the boss about her talking nonsense, and we got rid of her.

Anyways, we've usually been having money wired over to business accounts overseas connected to a chain of hotels. The manager's deep into this, he's a Piru Blood. Idk if you know them, but they're basically like the Black Axe for the USA. So everything's all good with that. The hotel's got ppl in various areas who we can rely on just in case, there's a couple in Africa too.

This is meant to set things up for a safari later on.

Calvin replied:

You got good contacts. That’s nice . I hope they are trusted ? I have emailed her.

Perfect! And yeah they're trustworthy.

Inside Samantha's box was the following email:

Hello ma,
My name is Bar Tawny, i was consulted to reach out to you and explain everything you need to know in regards of your dealings with Mr Mark weather from the IPS(International Protective Service).

Kindly ask me any questions regarding your funds as well as the legal papers involved.

Also i will be taking over all processes and guilding you with anyother step you may need to take.

Thank you,
Barister Tawny.

Gullible Samantha replied right back:

Barrister Tawny:

Hey, thank you so much for writing, you're super. The week has been so weird recently.

I spoke to Mr. Weather the other day, and he is soooo lazy. I really hope you're his manager or maybe you have his manager's phone number? I would like to speak to his manager. He told me I'm supposed to fly to your offices in Africa and meet with a barrister and manage the paperwork. But it's been a week and I kept asking when I'd hear from the barrister and he kept telling me later and I just had to take a chill pill and be nice to him.

Don't worry, it's not your fault, you're amazing. But I really am tired of having the delays over and over again. Like geewhiz, what gives? I've sent you people the money for the paperwork and for the tariff. All I need to do is just sign things. If you could please be dears and fill me in on what's next, that would be so lovely of you.

Have an awesome night!

Samantha

Thank you for your understanding ma,
I understand the frustration mr weather is making you go through. You are right, i am his superior and i will take over the case now.
I have some questions for you.
Can you list the total amount you have paid to him and what the payments were for.
I will need your home address and your your occupation.
Your marital status and date of birth.
This information will enable me start processing your documents immediately.
I also believe my clients don't have to fly down to Nigeria when we can do the paper works and send it to you for signing.

Thank you

Tawny, Calvin, or whatever he wants to call himself is clearly trying to get out of having to safari. Well, we'll take care of that tomorrow.

[Madlib_629]

Calvin started off the next day on the wrong foot:

June 5th:

Listen I am very hard working , I have access to a lot of stuffs that you would need but I can’t tell you all yet. That’s why I was angry about the video call because I feel that you were not real in working with me.

Now send me more emails as you promised please. Then send me the first message you sent to miss hollins so I can have a better understanding of how much she is expecting and how to get the document ready when she flys down to Nigeria as we are communicating now. I want the message containing the full story .

How rich do you think she is ?

You shouldn't get so angry over stuff like that. Just cause idk certain things don't mean I'm playing games with you. I might not sound like much, but I ain't a small kid, fyi. I ain't gonna ask you about your stuff, it ain't an issue with me. Anyways, moving on.

The blonde came over just now which was great. You gotta tell me more abt that girl, I ain't gonna do all the asking myself. Like, I know I see her all the time, but I never really TALKED till I needed smth. Long story. Anyways, lemme see what's next.

Here's the original format we sent:

Dear Samantha Hollin,

I hope this letter finds you in good health and high spirits. My name is Mr. Mark Weather, and I am writing to you from the First Bank of Nigeria, where I work as a senior funds transfer officer for International Protective Services (IPS). IPS is a reputable company that specializes in handling secure packages and financial transactions for international clients.

I am contacting you regarding a matter of significant financial importance that involves your family. After extensive research and due diligence, we have discovered that you are the closest living relative of the late Mr. Robert Hollin, who was your second cousin. Mr. Hollin served in the Peace Corps in Nigeria during the 1980s and tragically passed away in a vehicle accident in 1987 without any known immediate family.

What is particularly noteworthy is that before his untimely death, Mr. Hollin had invested a substantial sum of money (approximately $800,000 USD) in a Nigerian government bond program through our bank. This investment has been accruing interest for over three decades and is now valued at approximately $3.2 million USD.

According to Nigerian banking laws and international financial regulations, after 35 years of inactivity on an account, the funds must be either claimed by a legitimate heir or transferred to the Nigerian government treasury. We are just months away from this deadline, which is why I have taken the initiative to locate you.

As an employee of IPS, I am authorized to facilitate the secure transfer of these funds to you as the rightful heir. This process requires your cooperation and will involve some documentation to verify your identity and relationship to the deceased.

If you are interested in claiming this inheritance, please reply to this email at your earliest convenience. I will provide you with detailed instructions on how to proceed with the claim process. All communications will be kept strictly confidential, and I assure you that this matter will be handled with the utmost professionalism and discretion.

I look forward to your prompt response and the opportunity to assist you in claiming what is rightfully yours.

Yours sincerely,

Mr. Mark Weather
Senior Funds Transfer Officer
International Protective Services (IPS)
First Bank of Nigeria

The girl's family owns a large bakery in Denver, she's got money to burn. Any replies btw?

Okay I will work on that . I will see if she can pay any money before I start some documentations from the first bank of Nigeria .

Denzel replied:

Aight perfect. Oh and you asked abt Mike. Mike Okonma is f******g crazy. You asked how I met him. Long story but that guy is crazy as hell. A psycho.

June 6th:

Mike added me too so I am surprised you know him. Did he add me through you?

He's apparently forgotten how Denzel found Mike.

No. I found the kid first on the blonde's uncle's computer. Mr. Leonard yk. Anyhow, I tried getting that guy to help me scam. That guy is a f*****g psychopath. Said he hates women and would curse me if I didn't send him money and stuff. And then, the blonde found out, idk how she did, and she threatened to tell my crazy father Abt what I did. Like girl. The boss wanted to kill her, but she's cute so I said no. I hate watching cute girls get hurt. So I talked to Mike and I tried getting him to scam the church. That Mike was such an angry hateful man. He wanted to blackmail the church. Really, we just had to block him everywhere. He was angry, demanding money, and talking about how he wanted to hurt women. I blocked him too. I don't even think Mike Okonma is his real name. If you hear from him, tell me. That man is CRAZY.

This is actually based off of a real lad I encountered and had for nearly a year. He really was a horrible piece of work and liked to joke about hurting women and how much he hated them.

Calvin:

What was your plans on scamming the church? Are you a member? Also you don’t respect religion? Scamming a church takes a lot more. They have to send money to his name and stuffs

Wanted to scam the church cause it's hilarious to see them swindlers get what they deserve. That whole Church of the Old Gods thing ain't nothing but a money making cult. I ain't a member of nothing except my gang and my own damn self. Them people keep trying to convert me for crying out loud.

And that kid, Sporus, he is an ignorant annoyance. His real name is Koran. And we grew up together, ignorant kid who thinks he is king of the world. He is so arrogant. Sporus and his sisters used harass me. I'd paint graffiti on stuff and they'd tell me I'm wrong and it's illegal. Dumb boy reminds me of my mother. I hate boys like that, I'd like to beat Sporus up one day just for fun. Break his bones and mess. He deserves it.

Calvin with the manipulation:

Calm down I know how you feel. How rich is the church? I told the Samantha lady to pay some money so I can send her a debit card containing the funds and also create two certificates for her. Which I plan doing if she pays.

Sounds good. Just came from the market. Great day, lovely out here. Also burning up. I'll update you when I get back to my place.

In the meantime, Calvin chatted with May on and off all day:

Calvin Klein [6/6/26 12:43 AM]
Anything from sporus yet ?

May [6/6/26 8:21 AM]
No i dedint find him yesterday i dont kno were he is

This will later lead to some drama.

May [6/6/26 8:21 AM]
Good morning, upsy daisy stil crazy

Calvin Klein [6/6/26 8:32 AM]
How are you feeling today

May [6/6/26 8:40 AM]
I am good

May [6/6/26 8:40 AM]
How are you

Calvin Klein [6/6/26 8:43 AM]
I am okay

Calvin Klein [6/6/26 8:43 AM]
What are you up to ?

May [6/6/26 8:49 AM]
Bieng driven to the market

Calvin Klein [6/6/26 8:59 AM]
How often do you go to the market

May [6/6/26 9:15 AM]
A week

Calvin Klein [6/6/26 11:47 AM]
Does sporus drive a car ?

Calvin Klein [6/6/26 11:48 AM]
They are yet to reply my texts

May [6/6/26 12:00 PM]
Yes he dose why

Calvin Klein [6/6/26 12:18 PM]
Other kids over there see him as somewhat special?

Calvin Klein [6/6/26 12:18 PM]
Jealous him or something

May [6/6/26 12:27 PM]
I think so

May [6/6/26 12:27 PM]
My mom and uncle think hes rely grate

May [6/6/26 12:27 PM]
I think hes creepy and pathetic

May [6/6/26 12:28 PM]
Most pepole like him becase his familys rich

Calvin Klein [6/6/26 12:47 PM]
Well I think Denzel thinks he is stupid and not so great

May [6/6/26 12:57 PM]
Denzel is corect

Thank you May

May [6/6/26 12:57 PM]
Tell you somethrng soon

Calvin Klein [6/6/26 1:01 PM]
Okay

Calvin Klein [6/6/26 1:02 PM]
The church is used to reply

May [6/6/26 2:28 PM]
Im going home

May [6/6/26 2:29 PM]
I had a rely intresting day

May [6/6/26 2:29 PM]
It was good thouh

Things are beginning to develop here. More details next time, but I am preparing to create a horribly snarled and confusing mess for Calvin.

[Madlib_629]

Some more stuff happened between Samantha and the Barrister Tawny character on June 5th:

June 5th (Sam/Tawny):

Hello Barrister Tawny:

Sounds great, let's rock and roll then! I do have the correct accounting of all the payments I have made so far:

600.00 USD - Parcel Protection Services
350.00 USD - Tariff coverage for shipping
400.00 USD - Certificates and other registration

That would add up to $1,350.00 USD. And that's not counting taxes when I send the money. That is what I've invested in this so far.

My mailing address is --------------------- Denver, CO, 80202. And I'm the assistant manager at a local bakery here in my city. Currently unmarried. My date of birth is March 16th, 2003.

The main reason the flight to Nigeria came up is because my aunt thinks none of this is legitimate and that I'm completely stupid. But I want to make sure that the family fortunes are not lost, so I'm just going to keep pursuing this. After all, teamwork makes the dream work, and if I'm completely right in the end, I would hate to lose everything. Have an awesome day!!

Samantha

Tawny/Calvin replied:

Hello Miss Samantha H.,

I have gone through your data and I see you are the beneficiary of the sum of $3.2 million USD from the late Mr. Robert.

First, I will prepare a First Bank certificate of fund ownership so that these funds can permanently be in your name (so no one will be able to claim or steal them from you), as they are still currently in the late Mr. Roberts' name.

Then i will prepare a money laundering clearance certificate for you, as demanded by the Nigerian government, to enable the swift transfer or transition of the funds to you.

Finally, a debit card will be sent to your address containing the required amount.

Note: You are required to pay a total fee of $725, which includes consultancy, legal, and processing fees.

Also this payment would be made to a new account details which i will send to you. You can pay through western union, walmart to walmart, money gram, bank transfers, zelle ,apple pay and others.

Thank you.
Bar. Tawny

Samantha didn't respond for a few days.

June 7th (May/Calvin):

Not much happened on June 7th except for some more redefining of the dynamics between the characters:

Calvin Klein [6/7/26 4:04 AM]
Okay what is it you wanted to tell me

May [6/7/26 8:27 AM]
I got free lemonade

Calvin Klein [6/7/26 8:30 AM]
Oh that's nice

Calvin Klein [6/7/26 8:30 AM]
Did you go to church today

May [6/7/26 8:38 AM]
I am soon

May [6/7/26 8:38 AM]
You were rite abot denzel

Calvin Klein [6/7/26 9:21 AM]
Did he ask you out yet

May [6/7/26 10:34 AM]
No

May [6/7/26 10:34 AM]
But he got me the lemonade

May [6/7/26 10:34 AM]
I think i see what you mean

Calvin Klein [6/7/26 10:56 AM]
lol

Calvin Klein [6/7/26 10:56 AM]
I always give you expo lol

Calvin Klein [6/7/26 12:12 PM]
Did you see sporus yet

This part becomes important later:

May [6/7/26 12:26 PM]
I just talked to him

May [6/7/26 12:26 PM]
I dont kno whats hapening there it is odd

May [6/7/26 12:26 PM]
He wasent very helpfull

Calvin Klein [6/7/26 12:34 PM]
Tell me a little bit about it

Calvin Klein [6/7/26 12:34 PM]
Why do you think it's odd

May [6/7/26 12:38 PM]
He came and i asked how things are with there charity work

May [6/7/26 12:39 PM]
He said "fine" and told me he rely liked my braids today

May [6/7/26 12:39 PM]
Thets not good he usaly talks alot more abot things

May [6/7/26 12:40 PM]
I wanted to here abot his cult not my braids

May [6/7/26 12:41 PM]
I pay atenshun to these things in pepole i kno well and dont like it if things change without explanashun. I like things to be on a scedule and reguler

Calvin Klein [6/7/26 12:45 PM]
I understand

Calvin Klein [6/7/26 12:45 PM]
Cult ?

Calvin Klein [6/7/26 12:45 PM]
Are you talking about sporus or Denzel

May [6/7/26 12:47 PM]
Sporus

May [6/7/26 12:47 PM]
I saw both densel and sporus today thouh

Calvin Klein [6/7/26 12:47 PM]
So if you asked sporus about charity , he tells you a lot about it

May [6/7/26 12:48 PM]
Yes he brags abot it alot

Calvin Klein [6/7/26 12:48 PM]
Including my friend that they are sending money to

May [6/7/26 12:49 PM]
Yes

May [6/7/26 12:50 PM]
And i think he is trying to distrakt me by talking abot other things

Calvin Klein [6/7/26 12:59 PM]
It's okay, let me hope they reply tomorrow if not I will resend them the account details

May [6/7/26 1:00 PM]
Okie dokie

After introducing the odd behavior of Sporus, May decided to talk some more about Denzel, inadvertently revealing Calvin's greed in the process:

May [6/7/26 1:00 PM]
Im wondering what todo with denzel

Calvin Klein [6/7/26 1:01 PM]
Keep him close

Calvin Klein [6/7/26 1:01 PM]
Until we get money from him

May [6/7/26 1:03 PM]
Okie dokie

May [6/7/26 1:03 PM]
I can do that

May [6/7/26 1:04 PM]
But im not going to fall in love with him im not good enough for that

Calvin Klein [6/7/26 1:08 PM]
Why would you fall in love with him. You said he is a thug or tout

Calvin Klein [6/7/26 1:08 PM]
You can't love him and sporus at the same time

May [6/7/26 1:08 PM]
Thank you for that i rely think its silly to

May [6/7/26 1:09 PM]
I wil end up ruining his life if he actualy thinks im good for him

May [6/7/26 1:10 PM]
I dont want to do that ill be overwelmed and ill ruin him

Calvin Klein [6/7/26 1:14 PM]
I think you need to just be you and be beautiful and sexy

Calvin Klein [6/7/26 1:14 PM]
Let them both keep chasing you

May [6/7/26 1:14 PM]
Being me wold not be good

May [6/7/26 1:15 PM]
Me wants to live alone and program malware and sharpen knifes

Calvin Klein [6/7/26 1:16 PM]
Then be sexy and beautiful

Calvin Klein [6/7/26 1:16 PM]
Also you won't die at 27

May [6/7/26 1:16 PM]
Okie dokie

June 8th (Sam/Tawny)

Things picked up again with everyone. Calvin started off by writing the AWOL Samantha as Tawny.

Hello ma,
If you fly down here, you are still going to make this payments and still be in hotel (this will cost you extra money).

This is why i believe you don't have to fly down here. Let me handle it and send your debit card to your address. You can also get registered with our partnered bank in the USA and your funds will be transferred into it.

Regards .
Tawny

I was a little ticked at this, so I attempted to push the safari:

Good morning Barrister Tawny!

Thank you for the email, but I don't think you really get where I'm coming from fully. My aunt is the problem here, bless her heart. Auntie Etta thinks that all of this is just a made up story I'm falling for, and I really hate to burst her bubble, but nope, this is real! However, she doesn't want any more money sent unless I actually meet you guys, which is so annoying.

I do have the money for a hotel and it wouldn't be a bad thing. I think it would be best if I went down there in person with the money which would make both my aunt and you happy. Because if I lose this and you go away, then my aunt will say "Hey, I told you so" and I'll feel so embarrassed.

If you could send me the documents that you need or an invoice that would be amazing and I would like to have that done before I go anywhere. Can I have a total amount of money that will be needed to cover this as well, that would be cool. Thank you so much for everything dear, and you have an awesome day, thanks!

Samantha

Tawny replied:

I understand.

$750 is the only amount you are required to pay and you will be given two documents which you can show to your aunty to prove to her that she is wrong.

Your debit card containing your funds should arrive your location within 7 business days after you get the documents.

You can choose to pay this money on installment, after you get your document then you can send the remaining balance. I am trying to make this easy for you.

One of those document is coming directly from First bank while the other is coming from the federal government of Nigeria.

This is why i need an initial deposit from you before i can do this ma.

Thank you for your understanding.

Yeah. No way on earth we're sending this lad money before he travels. So Samantha parried back with:

Barrister Tawny:

Hello again and thank you so much for your understanding and for explaining the payment option. You're totally awesome and I really love that you're going through so much for me.

Now get a load of this - my aunt froze all the business accounts ice solid, because she is soooo convinced this is just a big scam. Like I said, she doesn't want me doing anything else until she can "verify everything in person" (her words, not mine!! ). It's so fricking frustrating, but I really can't do much about that right now, because she's family and older than me, and she controls the bakery accounts where most of my money is.

I did tell her that if I see you guys in person then that will prove this isn't a big fat load of malarkey, and she said she'll release the funds if I can manage that, either you coming here or me going there. That shouldn't be a problem as I can just meet at your office or maybe a hotel. And I do have $1,000 in cash that I can bring with me, and I think that should be enough to cover the $750 you mentioned plus some extra for any unexpected fees.

The hotel option is okay with me as I can book one, and also, if you could prepare those documents you mentioned (the First Bank certificate and the money laundering clearance) that would be thrilling. I'd be happy to review them in person before making any payment. That way, I can show my aunt that I've met you in person and seen everything with my own eyes, and then she'll stop being a Nervous Nancy and let me access my funds properly.

Samantha 🩵

And this thankfully stopped any more requests for payment before meeting.